Now We're Even - Recap

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The episode begins and, “How do you like living alone?” is the question Marshall poses to Ted. And so we take a peek into what life sans roommates is like for Ted Mosby. His first order of business? To strip! Thanks to a few strategically placed household items, we watch Mosby as he walks around in the buff. He does the laundry nude, and then audaciously leaves the basket right in the middle of the floor. He also doesn’t have to worry about anyone eating his food, bothering him as he chows on a bucket o’ ribs, and, no one is there to laugh at him when he spills scalding soup down his chest.

Now Marshall and Ted are joined by Barney and Quinn, and Barney is letting everyone within a 500-mile radius know that Quinn is a stripper, and he’s dating her, and he's dating a stripper, and Barney is dating Quinn, who is a stripper. Barney exits momentarily as Lily enters, excitedly telling Ted about the fancy schmancy restaurant she and Marshall have reservations for Friday night. Lily is bursting with excitement, but Marshall is looking less than enthused. We find out why when Lily heads for a pee break: “Lily had a sex dream,” says an angry Marshall, and it went a little something like this: Earlier, Marshall was painting a baby chair as Lily napped on the couch. Mid-brush stroke, Lily begins moaning. It all seems innocent enough at first, until she says “Hurry up...before Marshall comes home.” Marshall’s eyes practically bug out of his head as he accidentally drops a frying pan on the floor to rouse an aroused Lily.

Apparently Lily has rowdy dreams fairly frequently and usually reveals to Marshall the paramour in question. But this time the expectant mom is keeping mum on who she was romping with, but is blushing to no end. In Marshall and Lily land, this means only one thing: Lily dream-banged someone they know. Though Barney tries to take credit for being the banger in question, Ted suggests that Robin could be the culprit. But no, Marshall says Robin was a no-show in Lily’s erotic dream world. How does he know? Because he and Lily went to visit Robin at the World Wide Web headquarters, where Marshall strategically observed the hues of Lily’s face as she spoke to Robin. Her face stayed porcelain white, so Robin got crossed off the suspect list.

Earlier, as Lily pointedly asks Marshall what the hell he is doing getting so up close and personal with her visage at WWW, he swiftly changes the subject by pointing out a mammoth poster of Robin and Sandy Rivers that is currently occupying the wall of the reception area. Robin offers to show Marshall and Lily her office digs, but gets stopped by a curmudgeonly security guard who asks for some ID, despite the fact that Robin’s face is super-sized just behind him. Speaking of Ted, Robin asks Lily and Marshall how he’s doing, and we are issued a sad reminder montage that the two have been on the outs since Ted unsuccessfully attempted to rekindle their relationship.

They tell Robin that he’s pretty good, and back at the bar, Ted is seemingly satisfied with that response. Barney is having a piphany. Not an epiphany, THE piphany, which is that he, wants to make every night from now on legendary. With those words, the weak (a.k.a. Lily and Marshall) make their way out of the bar, and the first of many ludicrous nights begin. Things kick off with: The Night We Started a Mariachi Band – Ted and Barney don sombreros, charro outfits, mustaches, and position themselves in the center of MacLaren's, but that was nothing compared to mañana, which brought…The Night We Ate Everything on the Menu – Ted and Barney gorge, but that couldn’t top...The Night We Brought A Horse Into the Bar – Exactly how it sounds, followed by...Well, it would have been The Night We Bungee Jumped Off the Statue of Liberty, but Ted vetoed that idea when Barney turned up outside his door with bungees in hand.

The would-be bungee fiasco also happened to be the night of Lily and Marshall’s highly anticipated dinner, where Marshall was pulling out all the stops, including a limo ride with New York City’s favorite driver Ranjit! The door opens Ranjit stands outside, and...what’s that? Lily begins blushing. Sex dream culprit: Identified! Back at WWW, Robin finds that a vending machine has been placed over her smiling, shining face and painstakingly forks over her ID as she realizes that her pretty face isn’t going do her much good for now. Enter Sandy Rivers, and he’s got something huge, something big, and he wants Robin on it. It’s a breaking story for Robin that puts her in a helicopter to report on… traffic. As Robin patrols the skies, Barney tries to entice Ted with The Night We Stole a Mummy From the Natural History Museum or The Night We Partied With the Mole People.

Again, Ted is not having it. There’s only one thing left for Barney to do at this point, and he locks Ted out of his apartment. Annoyed, Ted heads to MacLaren’s to use the phone to call his superintendent. Things aren’t getting any less awkward in the limo as Marshall is nagging Lily for the nitty gritty details of her tryst with Ranjit, while Ranjit keeps messing with the partition so he can also hear about his performance. Finally fed up with Marshall's pestering, Lily has Ranjit pull the car over, and heads to The Lusty Leopard for some female advice from Quinn. Marshall decides to pore over his marital woes with Ranjit over dinner. At the bar, an annoyed Ted is telling Barney that all nights can’t be legendary. “If all nights are legendary, no nights are legendary,” counters Ted in all his brilliance.

Barney, referencing his Game of Life point system, doesn’t care. Back in the sky, Robin is expressing her work frustration to the helicopter pilot, but as he’s about to instill his sage wisdom upon her, he has a stroke, leaving a stricken Robin pilot-less above the streets of New York. Down below, all eyes are on the stranded anchor. Ted and Barney anxiously watch news updates from the bar, Quinn and Lily hold each other at The Lusty Leopard, and Marshall watches the news unfold from his phone at the restaurant. Not only does Robin land the helicopter safely with instructions from the ground, but she also gains the instant fame she’d been looking for, and best of all, that vending machine is pushed over to cover Sandy’s face instead.

As news of her safety spreads, Robin is inundated by calls from all her friends and family. At the last minute, a text appears: I know we’re not talking right now…but I just want you to know…I’m glad you’re okay. It is from Ted. Meanwhile, Marshall realizes Lily’s sex dream was about Ranjit because Lily is attracted to great dads, and Barney discloses that the real reason he’s been trying to make nights legendary is so his poor, lovelorn self won’t have to think about what Quinn is doing at work. The episode ends at this point.