The episode begins; Marshall and Lily host a baby shower at the apartment but Ted intentionally shows up three hours late to avoid Robin. No worries there, though. Robin showed up three hours early and left before the party started. They each both also brought the same stroller, but in different colors. Lily says one moment got awkward when Barney came in on a conversation Quinn was having with Lily's Grandma Lois about how Quinn does "50 laps a day." Barney went into a self-righteous speech about how the woman should be ashamed of herself for judging Quinn, but Quinn explains they were talking about swimming laps for exercise.
At the bar, Barney opens up to Ted about how other guys don't understand the pressure that comes with dating a stripper. Ted tells Barney he's "laying low" on the women front, and Barney suggests Ted try online dating. Ted says he'll never try online dating. That night he tried online dating. Barney shows Ted three girls from the online dating site who he need to go out with. Meanwhile, Lily talks to Ted at the bar about how Marshall is getting into the baby anticipation thing. He's swaddling Lily, and setting a foghorn alarm for every three hours so he can get used to sporadic sleeping patterns. Meanwhile, out for a walk, Barney faces the ultimate nightmare of any man, dating a stripper: A man recognizes her on the street and excitedly talks about how he'll be at the club the next night when Quinn is working "wearing super-thin sweat pants."
Barney is uncomfortable, but Quinn tells him not to "be that guy." Barney tells her to forget he said anything, but one second later another guy recognizes her and says he'll see her at the club. Barney tells Quinn she has to quit her job. Meanwhile, Ted's first online date gets weird when the woman's name is Robyn (with a "y"), and her two favorite things are scotch and guns -- next to Canada, her "home and native land." Meanwhile, at the apartment, Lily gets home from the bar and finds Marshall cradling a watermelon. She tells him he needs to just relax and they'll "learn on the job." They get into an argument, the details of which are still hotly debated, Old Ted tells us, but they agree upon the way it ended -- Marshall helped Lily up from the couch so she could storm out. At the bar, Ted tells Barney about Robyn.
Barney introduces the next girl, who is nothing like Robin. It's a really dark, heavily tattooed emo girl who hates everything but lasagna. This makes Ted imagine Robin there, because she once made lasagna. "Robin" asks Ted why he's dating such an odd girl and that snaps him back into reality. The emo girl calls him a weirdo after he spaced out. Barney gives Quinn a box of chocolates to make up for what he'd said earlier, then after they make up he offers Quinn a job as "Executive Strategy Coordinator" (a made-up position) at Goliath National Bank, making exactly what she'd make as a stripper -- plus dental. She turns it down, saying she doesn't want to work for a bank because it's made of a bunch of whores who will do anything for money.
Barney reminds her she works at a strip club. She reminds him she likes it and she's good at it. Quinn leaves, saying she has some thinking to do. Meanwhile, Lily apologizes to Marshall for flipping out and tells him about a "baby boot camp," which gets him excited. Meanwhile, Ted's on another date and is relieved that it's going well and he's not thinking about Robin. But a reference to her ex-fiancé named Wayne and how he had no manners. Ted makes the leap to "Wayne Manor," and recalls the name of Batman's sidekick: Robin. He powers throughout, though, and tells his date he's still getting over his ex. She says she's also getting over Wayne. They wind up having sex as a palette cleanser.
Meanwhile Marshall packs up the car, and Lily offers to drive since he's been so sleep deprived. He falls asleep right away. Later in the drive, Marshall starts to wake up and sees Barney is now driving to Atlantic City. Meanwhile, Barney explains that Lily was worried about Marshall and thought he needed to relax, so she set up two deluxe rooms and massages. Meanwhile, that night at the bar, Ted talks to the bartender, Lou, who turns into Robin. Meanwhile, in Atlantic City, Barney asks Marshall to turn off his phone for an hour and Marshall refuses. Barney makes a deal: If Marshall can give Barney one hour of phone-free time for them to get severely drunk, Barney will wearing the ducky tie. Marshall thought Barney had thrown it away, which he had, but it came back.
Meanwhile, Ted talks to the vision of Robin, who explains that Ted feels bad about how things ended with them because after he told her he loves her he let her walk away. Ted admits to himself that he misses Robin's friendship and decides to go get Robin back. Ted finds Robin right outside the bar and says they need to talk. She agrees, but says they can't now. Meanwhile, cut to Atlantic City; Marshall now needs subtitles when he speaks. He and Barney turn their phones back on and Barney sees he has 17 missed calls. He checks his voicemail to hear Lily saying they need to get back right away because she's in labor. The episode ends at this point.