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Twelve Horny Women - Recap

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The episode begins and Marshall is called to defend his conduct in court back on Nov. 19, 2012. Marshall after breaking the ice with some puns about how their robes really do them "justice" tells the judges the story. It started when an old friend from law school conned him into thinking he needed help getting a job. He got into the offices and stole the firm's strategy for its case against Gruber Pharmaceuticals, which had been polluting a lake in upstate New York. Marshall's boss told Marshall he needed to win this case or he'd be fired.

Marshall confronts Brad, who says he decided to "screw being nice" and decided to do what he had to do to win. Marshall tells Brad he still has some tricks up his sleeve that Brad knows nothing about. "Really?" Brad asks. "No," Marshall replies. After their awkward kiss, Barney and Robin are ignoring that it ever happened. Ted has called in sick on behalf of all the friends. He's made excuses for each of them so that they can go see Marshall in court. Marshall is feeling good because he has something worth fighting for. Flash forward to a dream of Marshall's son fishing in a clean lake and thanking his dad for setting in motion the precedent that made all the lakes clean around the world.

In court, Marshall gives his opening argument and Brad responds by dropping his pen on purpose in order to bend over slowly, much to the delight of the women on the jury and the male judge. A bailiff at the courthouse recognizes Barney, who brags about having spent so much time in handcuffs that the bailiff knew him by name. Ted, getting in on the "who was the bigger bad-ass" competition, tells a story about getting his mugshot taken. Marshall is worried he's already lost the jury. Brad's star witness is a guy in a white robe wearing a stethoscope and claiming that the drugs that might spill into the lake could be helping the animals there.

Brad even suggests how the animals' sex lives could benefit from the drug. Marshall responds by bringing in his own "quack" witness. Basically it’s a duck that’s suffered a painful rash. He has the jury for a moment, but Brad responds by showing a video of his own field trip to the "so-called polluted lake". It's a mash-up of a mostly shirtless Brad partying around the lake. Lily is at the records desk trying to find a rap sheet under her name that doesn't exist. Robin steps up and proclaims that she was actually the "ultimate teenage bad-ass". She insists there was a dark side to being a rocker north of the 44th.

She tells a story about partying in a hotel room and, when the mounties came to politely ask her to turn down the music, she threw a TV out the window. Back in court, Marshall suddenly decides to call Brad to the stand and have him remove his shirt. The women and the judge are excited. Brad objects, but the judge insists. Brad goes up to the stand and opens his shirt, exposing a full-body rash. The lead justice "a little ways down the road" offers up his own pun, saying that Marshall was "forced to do something rash". The verdict: Gruber is guilty. Marshall is relieved about the $25 million ruling.

But the judge announces that Gruber will pay a fine of $25,000. The judge tells Marshall he's not going to ruin a whole company over some birds with a rash. The bailiff comes around and shows the group a picture of Barney with the Magic Enthusiasts Club, in which Barney is famous because of his handcuff escapes. He calls Barney "Baby Hands". Robin says she exaggerated her story, too. She'd actually received an award from the hotel for being the best-behaved guest. Ted's story was also untrue. His "mugshot" was actually taken at the Shaker Heights Renaissance Fair. That night, Marshall has a dream that Frog Lake is extremely polluted. Brad comes to the bar and tells Marshall that he's decided to once again fight for the little guy. He's taken a job at Marshall's firm, and they're going to be brunch buddies again.

Brad also tells Marshall that the judge was an idiot and that Marshall is the type of person who should be on the bench. That's why a little ways down the road Marshall is in front of the New York State Judiciary Review Board asking them for an appointment as a judge. They're taking his request under advisement. Back at the bar, Barney and Robin have another awkward exchange. Barney wants to talk about the weirdness. He says he doesn't want it to be weird anymore. He says he's done and that Robin no longer has to worry about him trying to get her. "I'm done making a fool out of myself," he tells her.

He's goes go on making comments on the nipples of the women at the bar, and he wants Robin to tell stories about Patrice at work. He asks Robin if she thinks she can wing that, and she says yes. Walking home from court, Lily starts whistling "The Farmer in the Dell," and all the kids playing outside scatter while shouting, "Lily’s coming”. The episode ends at this point.

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