The Fortress - Recap

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The episode begins and Barney and Robin are weeks away from getting married, but still don't agree on some big issues. Robin wants to talk about where they're going to live. She doesn't love some things about his apartment, including the fact that his bed is apparently placed on a train track. He explains the system. It rolls the entire bed into a hole in the wall, after he's done with one of his ladies,and is replaced with an empty bed. Barney tells Robin he'll sell his place, if it'll make her happy, and then ponders where they could find an apartment where he hasn't banged someone.

Ted helps Marshall play Marvin to sleep, because Lily isn't home. Ted suggests they watch Woodworthy Manor, which Ted has been obsessing over and posting about on online forums. Marshall can't watch it because he promised Lily they'd watch it together, but she's been working too much for The Captain on her art consulting gig. Lily finally gets home, drunk. She agrees to watch "Woodworthy Manor" with him, but The Captain calls again. Barney tells Robin that he's looking for a worthy buyer for his place. Robin reminds him she gave up her two-bedroom apartment, on the Upper West Side. Ted is about to babysit for Marshall and Lily, but Lily calls again at the last minute and says she can't do it.

Ted tries to talk Marshall into watching Woodworthy Manor with him, but Marshall says it would feel like he was cheating on Lily. Ted continues tempting Marshall. Ted gets cozy on the couch and turns on Woodworthy Manor. He urges Marshall to do what his heart says. Robin has set up an open house for Barney's apartment. He thought she'd finally given in to his orgy idea. They argue over this a little. Marshall and Ted are there, pretending to be a couple, looking at the apartment to boost the value. Ted has taken on a British accent and is pretending to be Emsbree Postlethwaite, inspired by Woodworthy Manor. Lily finally shows up, and Marshall decides to go along with the role playing with Ted. After realizing that they're posing as a gay couple, virtually everything Lily says from that moment on is misconstrued as homophobic.

Marshall and Ted get applause, from the rest of the open house guests, every time they stand up to her. Lily decides to get back at Marshall by making fun of the Minnesota Vikings, and he turns the tables by telling her he watched Woodworthy Manor. A woman at the open house is into Ted. She loves his British accent. She says that, if he weren’t gay, she would be all over him. Barney is grossing out many of the attendees, by demonstrating what he thinks are the best features of his apartment. At the bar, Marshall and Lily start clearing the air, but he reveals more spoilers.

Barney tells Robin that he loves her, and is giving up his apartment for her. She tells him a couple agreed to buy his apartment but, because they planned to tear apart his place, she decided to not sell it to them. She tells Barney that if she asked him to change too many things about himself, he wouldn't be the man she fell in love with. She even appreciates some of the more sociopathic things about him. Lily gets another call from The Captain, but she tells him she can't work because she needs to spend some time with her husband. Ted laments that they're all happy, and wonders when he's going find something real.

The woman from the open house shows up. She asks Ted if he's ready to see what it's like to be with a woman. Ted agrees to her offer, in a British accent. He gets up to leave, but not before Barney gives him a big hug for the way Ted handled the whole thing. In the night, the gang gathers at Barney's to watch Woodworthy Manor, but Barney and Robin use the garbage chute to make a run for it. The episode ends at this point.