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When Ted turns to a matchmaker to find love, he is sent away matchless.
When a matchmaker with a 100 percent success rate turns Ted away because he is not compatible with any of the available women in her database, he is still determined that he is going to find his match. After getting information from the matchmaker’s computer on the sly, Ted pays a visit to a very cute, but very taken, dermatologist in an effort to debunk the prediction that there are no women out there for him. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily are obsessed with ridding their apartment of an unsightly critter.
Lily: Don't Ted-out about it.
Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb?
Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that when you're not around. "Ted-out": to overthink. See also "Ted-up". "Ted-up": to overthink with disastrous consequences. For example, "Billy Tedded-up when he-"
Ted: All right, I get it!
Matchmaker (Ellen Pierce): Don't give up hope, Ted. There are new women turning 18 every day.
Barney: Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot, that's a perfect cocktail, shake well, then sleep with.
Ted: I'm not going to a matchmaker, that's like giving up. It's the man-version of getting a cat.
Robin: So what was it, a cockroach or a mouse?
Lily: It was a cockamouse!
Robin: A cockamouse?
Lily: It was some mutant combination of the two. It was like a cockroach and a mouse . . .
Barney: Did the horizontal, ten-legged, interspecies tango?
Barney: Come on Ted, this is an incredible opportunity, we'll meet our soulmates, nail'em and never call 'em again.
Ted: If a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy world, then so can I!