Marshall: Tell me about, that cake.. the best I've ever had!
My stomach was like, "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating, cause I don't have any eyes, but keep sending it down.
Lily: Yeah, I know. My stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along, but that cake...!"

Lily: So thát's what happened to the boquet! You know, good for Victoria. It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not going to do it at your wedding?
Lily: Hell yeah, I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it into the crowd and shout "crawl for it bitches!". That's just what girls do.

Claudia: (on the phone) Ted. I'm sorry I hung up on you earlier. My new husband - and this vodka cranberry, which cost 10 dollars and 50 cents at the friggin' airport bar, WHEN IS THIS PLANE GOING TO BOARD?! - ... have helped me realise that sometimes I can act like a crazy person, and I don't want my new husband to think I'm a crazy person.