(Barney and Ted are considering dumping their dates to get in to a club)
Ted: Excuse me, are the girls in there hotter than our dates?
Bouncer: I don't know if they're hotter, but they're drunker.
Ted: Rock and Roll! (Barney and Ted enter)
(About Marshall and Lily's apartment being crooked)
Robin: How could she not notice this, it's like the last twenty minutes of Titanic in here!
Marshall: Robin and I saw a ghost
Lily: What?? He's kidding, right?
Robin: No, we really saw a ghost.
Lily: What did it look like?
Robin: Uhm, a sheet with two holes in it.