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Danny Was a Million Laughs - Recap

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In Hong Kong, Kelly and Scott are eating at a Chinese restaurant while waiting for their contact. The contact is an hour late and Scott is worried that they don't even have a code name for the person. Kelly is busy eating and doesn't see any reason to worry. Mobster Danny Preston comes in with his entourage, Sam and Genius, and immediately demands a table from the maitre d'. Once they have a seat, Danny demands a martini from the waiter. The bus boy puts the bread he's carrying on a nearby bus cart and leaves. Another bus boy finds it and tells the maitre d' that it's ticking. Scott realizes what they're saying and the agents throw the bread bomb out the window just in time.

Afterward, the maitre d' gets everyone out while Scott and Kelly talk to the second bus boy. He doesn't know who left it and they thank each other for saving their lives. While the agents wonder if the bomb was meant for them given they don't have an assignment yet, Danny demands his drink again from another bus boy. As Sam harangues the bus boy, Scott intervenes and Sam throws a punch at him. Scott fights back and a brawl breaks out.

The police arrest everyone and the next day, Scott and Kelly wait in a cell while Danny posts bail for himself and his entourage. Scott apologizes, admitting that he takes offense when anyone harasses the locals. The sergeant comes in and informs them that Kelly's Aunt Helen has posted bail. Kelly is surprised since he doesn't have an aunt. She demands an explanation from her irresponsible nephew and isn't very impressed with Scott when he speaks up. They leave and Helen informs them that she's their contact and she couldn't meet them in the restaurant. Helen tells them that they're supposed to keep low profile rather than end up in jail and drives away.

Helen takes the agents to a rooftop shack where Dr. Moran is running a makeshift clinic. Moran tells them that the suffering children will recover and Helen explains that the patients are suffering from a bone disease with a high mortality rate. Moran informs them that someone has been cutting the penicillin with ariomyacin and endangering the children for profit. Scott tries to cheer up one patient, Chan, while Helen explains that the U.S. supplies most of the antibiotics. Impure drugs are hurting the country's image and Helen is there to make sure that American interests are protected. She explains that a Senate committee is looking into the matter and a committee representative will be in Hong Kong in a week with papers to extradite a witness with useful information. The people responsible for the contaminated drugs have marked the witness for assassination and the agents have to keep the man alive.

Next, Helen takes the agents to their hotel and Kelly closes the door. Helen points out that there is a lady in the room and tells him to open the door, and she's glad to take a shot of their bourbon to steady her nerves. The agents try to point out that protecting someone in the streets of Hong Kong is impossible, but Helen reaches into her blouse and asks them to turn their backs. Once they do, she removes a small pistol and demands her drink. Helen finishes it off in one swallow and then tells the agents that regardless of the difficulty, they have to protect the informer for one week. She tops off the news by telling them who they have to protect: Danny Preston.

Once Helen leaves, Kelly half-jokingly prepares to write a letter of resignation. He figures they'd be selling out the human race to keep Danny alive. Scott lets him rant until the phone rings. The desk tells them that Danny is in the bar and the agents go to work. When the agents arrive, Danny is busy eyeing women. When Sam tries to run them off, Kelly punches him in the gut and the agents tell Danny that they're with the government and he'll be extradited in a week. Danny doesn't see any point in testifying but the agents warn him that the government has enough on him to put him away if he doesn't buy immunity. He doesn't believe the bomb was intended for him and tries to walk off, but Kelly warns him that they'll be nearby no matter where he goes.

Once Danny is back in his room, Sam reluctantly asks his boss if the bomb was meant for them. He suggests they take the government protection but Danny tells him to leave the thinking to him.

When Danny and his men leave the next morning, Scott and Kelly follow them. A tour guide, Kim, is waiting for Danny and the agents search him. They have no choice but to follow along as Danny goes to the lobby. One of the women from the bar is there and Danny eyes her again, and tells Kim to ignore Kelly and Scott. They get breakfast and then drive off, forcing the agents to hail a cab. They follow Danny to a restaurant and he tips the attractive hostess. She then greets Scott and Kelly and they convince her to give them a table near Danny. Kim goes back to the kitchen to get some American food for Danny, but tells the waiting killer, Wong, not to miss.

As Kelly and Scott order, Wong attaches a silencer to his pistol and then aims at Danny. Scott notices him and pushes Danny out of the way just in time. The bullet hits Genius, killing him. Wong gets away and the police arrive to take statements. Danny berates Lt. How, the officer in charge, and How dismisses his complaints. How orders them all to stay in the city and tells them he'll call upon them later once he has more information.

The agents take Danny back to his hotel room and make sure that everything is safe. When Kim wonders what to do, Danny tells him to stand around until he's ready for him. Kelly checks the bar and then pours themselves drinks, and Danny accuses the agents of wanting him dead. He apologizes to the agents and invites them to stick around and run up a bill. Danny then tells Kim to find them a place where they can party. Kelly tells Danny that he isn't going anywhere and promises to fire a warning shot into his kneecap if he tries. Scott suggests that Kelly wire Washington and try to expedite the extradition. Once he leaves, Danny tells Scott that he wants to hire a local secretary to take a letter. Kim promises to find him just the woman and takes off.

A little later, Kelly is checking back to see if Washington has responded to his cable. He sees Kim bringing in the woman from the bar, Nancy. Kelly escorts her to the side and suggests that she'd be better off without Danny. Nancy thanks him for his concern but assures him that she can handle Danny and do whatever she has to if the job pays well. Kelly drops the matter but tells her she can count on Scott if she needs any help. As Kim and Nancy go up, Kelly sees Wong tampering with Danny's car and chases after him.

Danny orders from room service and flirts with Nancy. He tells Sam to buy Nancy a fur coat as Kelly arrives. He tells Scott that he lost Wong in the crowd and suggests they call the police, but Danny doesn't believe that anyone would be so gauche as to plant an ignition bomb. He tells Sam to take care of the car and get the fur coat, and assures the agents that Sam is qualified. When Kelly starts to argue, Danny snaps at him and the agents go to the window. They watch as Sam removes the bomb, waves... and the car explodes.

Lt. How returns and takes statements. He assures Danny that there will be no further attempts on his life and then tells Kelly that they apprehended Wong based on the agent's description. He had a gun and they believe it will show that it was used to kill Genius. Danny demands to be released and offers to pay How whatever he wants, but How says that he's under orders to keep Danny available until the U.S. extradites him. Once he leaves, Scott tells Danny that the government agent will arrive to pick Danny up in the morning. Danny isn't reassured even when Kim tells him that the police have the killer, and he figures it's the same man who put the bomb in the bread. He realizes that he's said too much and tries to run, and the agents tackle him. Scott takes him to the police and Danny, relieved, figures that he's free now that the fingerman is taken care of.

As Danny calls Nancy over to sit with him, Scott comes back and the mobster thanks them for their duty... and dismisses them. The agents say that they'll stick around until the Washington man gets there and Danny tells them to stay outside while he and Nancy spend some quality time together. Kelly asks Nancy if that's what she wants and she reminds the agent what she said earlier. A disgusted Kelly leaves with his partner and they go to their room.

Back at their room, Scott paces nervously, figuring something is wrong. Kelly figures everything is fine until they remember that they haven't checked out Nancy. He remembers Nancy saying she'd do whatever she has to and Scott points out that she was Kim's idea. The agents go to Danny's room and discover that Danny and Nancy are gone. They go to the station to interrogate Kim but he figures his organization will take care of him. Scott suggests that they leak word of how cooperative he was and he quickly tells them Nancy's address.

The agents go to the apartment and break in. Danny is waiting for them with a gun as Nancy makes soup. He explains that Nancy knows a place where they can go and get away from everyone. Kelly manages to disarm Danny and asks Nancy how she was going to kill the mobster. The agent figures that she was going to poison him and orders her to come over and try the soup. Nancy breaks and goes for her purse, but Scott has already removed her gun. Danny lunges for her and Kelly slaps him, and Nancy angrily tells him that he deserves to die for all the people he's killed, and that she wasn't paid much but it was an easy choice for his meaningless life.

Later, the agents are called to the jail when they get word that Helen is in jail. She explains that she had to deliver Danny to the plane, but he opened his mouth and she closed it for him. Helen admits that she loved it and the agents bail her out and take her for dinner.