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I Spy: Danny Was a Million Laughs

Scott and Kelly must protect a mob informer in Hong Kong who can bring down a ring of criminals selling phony drugs to dying children. However, the informer is an obnoxious jerk who doesn't want their help, and the agents soon wonder whether letting him die might be a good idea.

Episode Info
Episode number: 1x7
Airdate: Wednesday October 27th, 1965

Director: Mark Rydell
Writer: Howard Dimsdale

Guest Stars
Jeanette NolanJeanette Nolan
As Helen Robinson
Nicholas ColasantoNicholas Colasanto
As Genius (as Nick Colasanto)
Larry DuranLarry Duran
As Wong
David ChowDavid Chow
As Sergeant
Martin LandauMartin Landau
As Danny Preston
Keye LukeKeye Luke
As Lt. How
Linda HoLinda Ho
As Nancy
Ron StarrRon Starr
As Sam (as Ronald Starr)
John Barclay (2)John Barclay (2)
As Dr. Moran
Willie Soo HooWillie Soo Hoo
As Maitre D'
H.W. GimH.W. Gim
As Bus Boy #1
Alan CheeAlan Chee
As Bus Boy #2
Main Cast
Robert CulpRobert Culp
As Kelly Robinson
Bill CosbyBill Cosby
As Alexander Scott


In Hong Kong, Kelly and Scott are eating at a Chinese restaurant while waiting for their contact. The contact is an hour late and Scott is worried that they don't even have a code name for the person. Kelly is busy eating and doesn't see any reason to worry. Mobster Danny Preston comes in with his entourage, Sam and Genius, and immediately demands a table from the maitre d'. Once they have a seat, Danny demands a martini from the waiter. The bus boy puts the bread he's carrying on a nearby bus cart and leaves. Another bus boy finds it and tells the maitre d' that it's ticking. Scott realizes what they're saying and the agents throw the bread bomb out the window just in time...

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Episode Notes
Danny makes two objectionable references to Alexander's race, addressing him a shoeshine boy and later calling him "Boy." Both Cosby and Culp protested, threatening to walk if their concerns weren't answered, and the producers promised never to have a character make derogatory racial remarks about Cosby's character.

Episode Quotes
Helen Robinson: This young man, I take it, is Scott Alexander.
Scott: Alexander Scott.
Helen Robinson: Never correct me! Apparently just as irresponsible as you are.
Scott: I know my own name.

Helen Robinson: And the Robinsons keep their names out of newspapers and their persons out of prison.
Scott: Well so does my family. We try to keep our names out of papers and prisons.
Helen Robinson: Apparently, you're not very good at it. Get yourselves together and come on
Kelly: That's my Aunt Helen.
Scott: She from the objectionable side of your family?

Helen Robinson: Incidentally, Washington goes to some pains to establish cover for her agents. Yours as an itinerant tennis player and yours as his trainer may not be perfect, but I doubt if your superiors would consider your present roles as jailbirds and restaurant brawlers an improvement.
Kelly: Well, they started it.

Helen Robinson: Did you get the report from the laboratory?
Dr. Moran: Penicillin--50% enough material, Ariomyacin--60% cut. I might well have treated them with talcum powder!

Scott: I wrote my mother a letter. She sent me a letter saying she was lonely and she wanted to know when I was coming home.
Kelly: Send her a wire, tell her you'll be home for Sunday breakfast. And tell her you'll be bringing a guest. You might also tell her I like my bacon crisp. While you're at it, you might tell her that I have had it with the whole Nathan Hale bit!

Danny Preston: Here you are, boy. (he tosses a coin to Scott) I'll leave my shoes out for ya tonight. (leaves)
Kelly: Well, we could disconnect every bone in his body.
Scott: Nope, work before pleasure.

Sam: I think it would be a good idea...
Danny Preston: Oh. Oh oh oh oh oh. Don't you dare.
Sam: What?
Danny Preston: Think. Don't you dare think. Your poor little brain wasn't designed for that sort of thing. All you have to do is make sure your cravat is tied properly at all times. And anticipate my every wish. And leave the thinking to me.

Danny Preston: I was never said I was infallible. Hey, Sam, you ever heard me say I was infallible?
Sam: Never, Mr. Preston.
Danny Preston: You know what "infallible" means, Sam?
Sam: No. But I never heard you use it.

Danny Preston: Now what's to prevent me from walking out that door, huh?
Kelly: Oh, I would do that. I'd fire a warning shot over your head. But you got me so nervous now that I would probably miss and hit you in the kneecap. You try to crawl out, I would fire another warning shot and miss again.
Scott: One time Kelly took a shot at the helicopter. Shot a snake right in the nose.

Other Episode Crew

Executive ProducerSheldon Leonard
ProducerFouad Said  |  Morton Fine  |  David Friedkin
Associate ProducerRonald Jacobs
CastingRuth Burch
MusicEarle Hagen
Music EditorKen Johnson (5)
HairstylistDonna McDonough
Make-upStan Smith
Set DecoratorKen Swartz
Property MasterGene Gossert
Production AssistantJoel Swanson
Director of PhotographyFleet Southcott
Art DirectorKenneth A. Reid
Production ManagerFrank Myers (1)
Sound EditorDick Maier (1)
Special EffectsJoe Lombardi
Film EditorBud Molin
CostumerHarald Johnson  |  Florence Albert
Assistant DirectorRuss Haverick
Sound EngineerCam McCulloch
Music CoordinatorWalter Popp
Second Unit DirectorSheldon Leonard
ContinuityMichael Preece (1)
Editorial CoordinatorJerry Jameson
Location Director Of PhotographyFouad Said
Assistant To The Production ManagerStanley J. Brooks
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