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I Spy: No Exchange on Damaged Merchandise

Scott and Kelly must find an escaped double-agent in Hong Kong so that they can exchange him for a downed American pilot.

Episode Info
Episode number: 1x9
Airdate: Wednesday November 10th, 1965

Guest Stars
As Jimmy
H.T. TsiangH.T. Tsiang
As Jimmy's Father
Soon-Tek OhSoon-Tek Oh
As Announcer (as Soon Taik Oh)
Sue RandallSue Randall
As Louise Richards
Joanne MiyaJoanne Miya
As Kai Hu (as Jo-Anne Miya)
Kai HernandezKai Hernandez
As Secretary
Byron MorrowByron Morrow
As Bentley Reed
Martin PriestMartin Priest
As Lee Pink
Steve GraversSteve Gravers
As Capt. Richards (Tommy Richards)
Angela KorensAngela Korens
As Stripper
Kurt KreugerKurt Kreuger
As Erik Thorsten
Main Cast
Robert CulpRobert Culp
As Kelly Robinson
Bill CosbyBill Cosby
As Alexander Scott


Kelly is typing up a report at the agents' hotel room in Tokyo as Scott tries to get some sleep. Scott finally tells him to forget the $3 for his watch. Kelly insists that he put himself in danger and the Pentagon won't reimburse him the $3.00. Scott points out that it was his fault that he had to swim in the ocean and dodge bullets because he wore the wrong watch to dodge bullets. Kelly doesn't believe it and starts writing up the mission report.....

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Episode Quotes
Kelly: I don't even have a beginning for this thing. How do you address these people. "Washington D.C." "Washington D.C. Gentlemen." I use the term loosely.

Secretary: You're Kelly Robinson, aren't you? The tennis player.
Kelly: Yes, I am.
Secretary: And you're Alexander Scott.
Scott: Yes.
Secretary: The football player from Temple University.
Scott: That's right. (glares at Kelly) Tennis.
Kelly: It's a nice game.
Secretary: Throwing any long, high passes lately?

Scott: Well, where would you go if you were a missing spy?
Kelly: On the other hand, there's always the Yankee dollar. It'll buy much bread and secrets, has been known to buy a man's hiding place right out from under him.
Scott: Yeah, but the trouble is the seller of the secret will turn around and sell your secret to the guy who secrets he sold when he sold the secret after he sold 'em.

Jimmy: A false passport will cost you.
Kelly: Passport?
Jimmy: Yours were stolen today.
Scott: How'd you know that?
Jimmy: I have ears that hold the gentlest whisper.
Scott: We got our passports back. Now what are you going to do about the wonderfulness of your ears?

Jimmy: I tell you, it's a crazy world. The sin is not that my father cheats, but that he was caught at it. I shall slice his rice ration.

Scott: And of course, you may well wonder yourselves about the wonderfulness of my tiger-quick reflexes, which I thrust upon you before you could even get an eyelash open.

(after Kelly tugs on the ferry whistle)
Ferry Captain: You made history.
Kelly: I did?
Ferry Captain: You signal "'icebergs in Hong Kong Harbor."

(talking through his puppet)
Puppeteer: This transaction will be done my way.
Kelly: Transaction?
Puppeteer: Of course.
Scott: Listen, nobody likes a smart puppet.

Scott: Well, we have a Pink Pagoda, a Pink Noodle Factory, fourteen guys named Pink, one named Pinkus, and now the Pink Tiger. Isn't much pink left in this town.

Erik Thorsten: What do they pay you for your work?
Scott: Don't tell him, he'll laugh

Erik Thorsten: Think of it. Dead, you have no explanations to make. No apologies for your failure to the American pilot, to his wife, to your superiors. Being dead is a most admirable condition for you.
Scott: I'd like to debate that point.
Erik Thorsten: Now which one of you is to be the first? (Kelly and Scott point at the other)

Kelly: You remember our instructions? Their man rows in from the boat and ours goes out from the shore, right?
Scott: Yeah. How we going to get a dead man to row out?
Kelly: It's impossible. Let's go do it.

Scott: Listen! I'm getting to the good part, jack, and you couldn't handle it because you would get emotional. You would start to remember when you rusted your watch in water and then you would think about the $3 that they owe you and you would blow it. So just sit down and let me write it.
Kelly: You would talk a man to death.

Scott: They got machine-guns on that ship!
Kelly: Yes, I imagine there would be.
Scott: It's got to be timed just right, buddy.
Kelly: I'll make an effort.

Kelly: Scotty, do me a favor, would you?
Scott: Yeah.
Kelly: If anything happens to me, tell Nancy that I breathed her name at the end.
Scott: Yeah? Well, what about Barbara and Lily and all the rest of them?
Kelly: Right. The last, all of them.

Episode Goofs
As the agents walks across the ferry, one child shamelessly mugs at the camera.

Cultural References
Scott: We followed her into the Suzie Wong streets of Wan Chai.

The World of Suzie Wong is a 1957 novel by Richard Mason about a Chinese woman who works as a prostitute in Hong Kong. It was made into a movie in 1960.

Other Episode Crew

Executive ProducerSheldon Leonard
ProducerFouad Said  |  Morton Fine  |  David Friedkin
Associate ProducerRonald Jacobs
CastingRuth Burch
MusicEarle Hagen
Music EditorKen Johnson (5)
HairstylistDonna McDonough
Make-upStan Smith
Set DecoratorKen Swartz
Property MasterStuart Stevenson
Production AssistantJoel Swanson
Director of PhotographyFleet Southcott
Production SupervisorRonald Jacobs
Art DirectorKenneth A. Reid
Production ManagerFrank Myers (1)  |  Edward M. Hillie
Sound EditorBill B. Keith
Special EffectsJoe Lombardi
Film EditorBud Molin
CostumerHarald Johnson  |  Florence Albert
Assistant DirectorPhil Cook
Sound EngineerShorty Campbell
Music CoordinatorWalter Popp
Second Unit DirectorSheldon Leonard
ContinuityMichael Preece (1)
Editorial CoordinatorJerry Jameson
Location Director Of PhotographyFouad Said
Assistant To The Production ManagerStanley J. Brooks
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