(After seeing a news report about Santa Claus)
Professor Membrane: I’ve never trusted that jolly fat man!
(Membrane thinks back to when he was younger, he walks over to his present)
Professor Membrane: Oh boy! I asked Santa to bring me twelve cases of Uranium 238! Yay!
(Membrane opens the present and gets barraged with socks)
Professor Membrane: No! Santa has let me down! I will turn my back on him and devote a portion of my life to destroying Santa!
ZIM: (disguised as Santa) Ho ho ho! Santa has returned for all the good little boys and girls of the world, to announce a new Christmas tradition! It’s the yuletide helping of Santa to build a giant teleporter capable of sending all humans to their doom! My Labor Sleighs will take you to the North Pole, where you will build the teleporter!
Audience Member: Will being teleported to our doom be fun and Christmasey?
ZIM: Ho ho ho ho ho! Of course it will, you hideous fool!
Dib: Gaz! I’m trapped in a frozen wasteland!
Gaz: Who isn’t?
Dib: And ZIM’s posing as Santa and he’s gonna take over the world!
Gaz: That’s great, Dib. Look, I gotta go.
Dib: Okay, Gaz, I think it’s time I told you. The dog’s innocent! I used Bitey the Vampire for a teleporter experiment and switched his head onto a fly’s body!
(Gaz is shocked, the dog she was staring at barks)
Dib: So, if you wanna beat me up, you’re gonna hafta rescue me first, because…
(Gaz breaks open Dib’s prison with TAK’s ship)
Gaz: Get in.
Dib: Wow, TAK’s ship! How did you…
(Gaz pulls Dib in and proceeds to assault him)
Dib: Dad, I need your help!
Professor Membrane: Look son, I’m right in the middle of…
Dib: But it’s Santa, he’s…
Professor Membrane: Santa?!
Dib: He’s evil and he wants to annihilate all mankind!
Professor Membrane: I knew this day would come! Son, I’m giving you full access to the anti-Santa arsenal I made when I was a child. Good luck destroying Santa, and merry Christmas!
Mr. Sludgy: That’s the story of the most horrible Christmas ever! But ZIM and Dib were wrong that day! Santa wasn’t destroyed. Santa lives on.
Child: In the hears and minds of us all?
Mr. Sludgy: No! In space! Gathering power, and every Christmas he returns to Earth, and that’s why we all live in this protective dome.
(The red alarm sirens activate, Mr. Sludgy looks out the window)
Mr. Sludgy: Looks like Santa’s here! Raise the shields, children!
(A dome covers the city just as the Santa suit lands on it)