Get Me to the Revolution on Time - Recap

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In the country of Santo Thomas, guerilla leader Kristoff, breaks into the Loa Bay Hotel with his men. The owner, Ivor Phillips, is waiting for him and Kristoff notes that a man in his position can’t afford to take chances. He tells Phillips that he’s scum but the owner notes that Kristoff came to him. Phillips says that he and his people will finance his revolution and shows him the vault he has hidden behind the bar. The owner’s people want their agreement in writing, but assures him that the vault is impenetrable and will hold the document safely until they can move it to their bank in Switzerland. Kristoff isn’t convinced but Phillips assures him that he’d match the safe against anyone in the world.

Alexander arrives at Noah’s apartment and discovers a party going on. Noah calls him into the study and gives him a bulletin on all of the Communist activities in Santo Thomas. When Alexander passes, Noah warns him that his only chance of surviving the next 48 hours is by reading it. The thief sits down and goes through it, and Noah tells him that he’s leaving for Santo Thomas that night. The current ruler, nicknamed “The Undertaker,” is a tyrant but old, and his second-in-command is considering democratic reforms. They need Alexander to neutralize Kristoff, who will soon be receiving help from an international cartel that have discovered bauxite deposits in Santo Thomas. El Presidente refused to deal, so Phillips and his four partners are financing Kristoff’s revolution in return for mining rights. His hotel is in a remote part of the island, and Kristoff will meet with the cartel there in a few hours to seal the deal. Once Alexander gets it for the SIA, the organization can pressure Phillips into ending the deal.

Alexander points out that Noah doesn’t seem to have much hope of him coming back given the going-away party and passes, but Noah tells him that all of the people at the party are SIA agents. They’re there as cover because they hired Englishman Cormack Shannon as mixologist for the party. Phillips has hired Shannon to entertain his guests, and Noah explains that Alexander will take his place. When Alexander points out that he knows nothing about mixology, Noah explains that Shannon is publishing a book and the manuscript is locked up in Shannon’s hotel room.

After stealing the manuscript, Alexander is soon on his way to Santo Thomas. He goes to the Loa Bay Hotel in full British garb and accent. Linda Phillips, the owner’s daughter, greets him and puts him right to work. They go to hotel bar where a local band is performing, and the guests ask Alexander to make Shannon’s signature Volcano martini. Alexander opens his case, which has Cormack’s recipes, and starts mixing the drink. Phillips comes in and his daughter does the introductions. Alexander hands it to Linda, who explains that it is supposed to burst into flames when touched by human hands. Nothing happens and Alexander dismisses the local gin as not old enough. He pours it down the drain and Phillips calls the cartel guests into the conference room to meet with Kristoff. Linda tells Alexander that her father was disappointed in him and storms off.

Once Linda leaves, one of the band members, Jasmin, introduces herself. Alexander asks her to bring him a tray so he can serve drinks to the cartel members and she advises against it. In response, the thief tells her that he’s come a long way to do what he does best.

In the conference room, Phillips warns the cartel members—Machado, Vogel, Kruger, and Boileau--that there is no turning back once they make the deal. As Vogel wonders if they can trust Kristoff, Kristoff comes in and Phillips performs the introductions. The guerilla leader makes it clear that since he is the one fighting for a cause, he’ll choose who to trust. As he sets a gun down on the table, Phillips tells them that they’re ready to sign the deal. Alexander comes in with drinks and Phillips warns him that it’s twice that Alexander has disappointed him. The other cartel members ask for the drinks and Phillips tells him to put the drinks down and leave. However, Alexander insists on serving each drink personally, having prepared them precisely as they want. They compliment Phillips on his choice of mixologist and Alexander even knows what drink Kristoff takes. As he goes, Alexander quickly takes in the room and the case holding the agreement.

As the cartel members finish signing the agreement, Alexander ducks into a small door leading down to the wine cellar. He discovers that Jasmin is in the basement, listening in on the meeting via the air vent. Meanwhile, Phillips shows the cartel members the six electronic keys—one for each of them—that will open the safe. The Swiss courier arrives in the morning and until then, the keys are each man’s responsibilities. Alexander interrupts Jasmin, who figures that Alexander isn’t who he claims. She offers herself as his silent partner, warning that she can blow his cover, and Alexander cheerfully agrees to her help.

They go back up to the bar just as Phillips finishes putting the agreement into the safe. He closes it up and points out that Alexander has an unfortunate habit of showing up where he isn’t wanted. When Kristoff wonders why Jasmin was in the wine cellar with Alexander, Phillips points out how attractive she is and Kristoff assures her that he’ll make her a national landmark when he takes over. As Kristoff leaves, Alexander notices Phillips give the general his key. Phillips then tells Alexander to forget that he saw the safe and Jasmine quickly escorts the thief out. Once they’re alone, the other cartel members warn Phillips that they can’t trust Kristoff but Phillips dismisses their concerns. He adjourns their meeting until then and gives them their keys.

Later, Alexander slips into Vogel’s room as the man sleeps. The thief searches the room and realizes that the cartel member is holding it, and carefully removes it. Outside Alexander meets Jasmin near the snake case and she points out the various poisonous varieties. He shows her the stolen key and tells her that they need to find the other five because he can’t make duplicates. Jasmin warns that it won’t be easy and Alexander points out that amateurs hide keys in predictable places. He predicts that Kruger, who is fumbling for his pocket watch, has his key in his watch pocket and assures Jasmine that he’ll find them. Jasmin isn’t convinced

Later, Kristoff discover that Vogel has lost his key. Phillips assures the general that one key is useless without the others and that they’ll soon find the thief. He also points out that Vogel will be supplying Kristoff with an armored column and is too valuable to kill. Kristoff backs down for the moment but promises to kill the thief and orders everyone searched. Phillips objects but Kristoff has his men search the cartel members. He sees Alexander and Jasmin going into the hotel and calls them over to be searched as well. They find nothing and Kristoff threatens to kill all of them to protect himself if they don’t find the key by the time the Swiss courier arrives the next morning. Once he leaves, Alexander offers them drinks and goes to the outside bar. When Jasmin wonders what happened to it, Alexander explains that he secured it somewhere... intimate on her person.

Later on the hotel lawn, Jasmin’s band plays for the celebration of the deal and Alexander mixes drinks. Phillips and Machado discuss what happened to the key and wonder if one of their cartel members is betraying them. The others come over and wonder if Kristoff plans to steal the document to blackmail them. Phillips figures they need to focus on the thief and tells them to lock their doors and make sure the keys are safe. Kristoff and his soldiers come over and start grabbing the food, and Phillips objects. He demands that Kristoff remove his men but he refuses. As the soldiers fill up, Jasmin warns Alexander that they’re running out of time and offers to help get Kristoff’s key from around his neck. Alexander has located all of the other keys except Phillips’. He figures that it’s in Linda’s room and tells Jasmin to meet him later at 4 a.m. When she points out that Kristoff’s soldiers are on the grounds, Alexander tells her not to underestimate his mixologist skills.

That night, Alexander delivers drugged nightcaps to each cartel member’s room. Meanwhile, Jasmin goes to the lounge where Kristoff and his men have gathered and asks to see the general alone in his bedroom. He accepts, smirking, while the soldiers cheer.

Next, Alexander goes to Linda’s room with a selection of drinks. She’s in the bathroom and Alexander begins searching her room. He finally locates the key in a cold cream jar, wipes it off, and pockets it. Linda comes out in a negligee and assures him that he won’t need magic potions for her.

At 2:30 a.m., Alexander leaves Linda’s room and breaks into each of the cartel members’ rooms to get their keys. Meanwhile, Jasmin emerges from Kristoff’s room with his key and walks out past the sleeping guards. At 4 a.m. they meet in the hotel bar and use the keys to open the safe and get the agreement. However, Machado emerges from the wine cellar and takes the agreement at gunpoint. He explains that he didn’t drink the nightcap and figured something was up. Alexander wonders if he’s working for El Presidente but Jasmin says that he isn’t one of the dictator’s agents. The thief realizes that she knows them because she works for El Presidente, but she’d rather support him because when he dies they’ll be rid of him.

Machado explains that he’s not a wealthy man like the others and is in it for himself. Kristoff comes in and Alexander points out that the general might disapprove. Machado figures that Kristoff will keep the other cartel members alive, and Kristoff comes up and disarms him. The cartel member claims he caught Alexander and Jasmin stealing the agreement and suggests that the general kill them. Kristoff agrees that thieves deserve to be shot, advances on Alexander and Jasmin, and then shoots Machado dead.

As he prepares to kill the others, Phillips comes down and Kristoff explains what happened. Alexander claims that Machado made Jasmin steal the key and she came to Alexander for help, but Kristoff asks what hold Machado had on her. Thinking quickly, Alexander tells the truth and says that Machado found out that she was working for El Presidente. Phillips isn’t convinced and asks why Jasmin wanted Machado stopped, and Alexander says that she fell in love with Kristoff when she stole his key. The cartel leader doesn’t believe it and laughs, and an insulted Kristoff asks why it’s so unbelievable. Phillips hastily apologizes and Kristoff agrees that Alexander is lying, but prefers to believe his lies than Phillip’s truths. Offended that Phillips considers him a joke, Kristoff takes the agreement and tells them that he’ll hold onto it until the courier arrives. He puts it into the poisonous snake cage and stations three soldiers to watch over it. The general then tells Jasmin and Alexander that he hasn’t made his mind up about them and goes to bed.

Once they’re alone, Jasmine complains to Alexander that he betrayed her. He points out that his lies kept them alive and asks what El Presidente’s plan is. Jasmin explains that his agents will watch the courier and follow them to Kristoff. Alexander takes out a reel of fishing line from his case and tells Jasmine that they need to get out in an hour before El Presidente’s men arrive to kill Kristoff. He then goes into the closet and climbs up to the ceiling. They go through the crawlspace and Alexander drills a hole, and then lowers the hook on the fishing line down to the cage. Once he has the case hooked, he waits until the guards have turned their backs and then lifts it up. Once it’s clear of the cage, Alexander swings it out the window.

At 9 that morning, the Swiss courier arrives at the hotel while Alexander and Jasmin lurk in the bushes. They knock out the driver and steal the car, just as Kristoff and Phillips realize that the case is gone. The army surrounds the hotel and orders everyone to surrender. Kristoff hesitates and Phillips calls him a fool, telling him to give up. The guerilla general guns him down and the army forces open fire, killing Kristoff.

Down the road, Alexander pulls over and Jasmin figures that it’s all over. He asks what she gets out of it and she doesn’t have an answer. Alexander suggests they find a quiet place with soft lights and gives her his real name, but Jasmin tells him that he’s no Kristoff. He realizes that she did fall for Kristoff, figuring anyone who hates El Presidente can’t be all bad. Alexander smiles and offers to drive her home.