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Season 1 |
| 1 :01x01 - The Gang Gets Racist (Aug/04/2005) | | When the guys notice that business has been less than stellar, they hire Dee's friend Terrell to promote the bar. Thanks to his tactics, Paddy's is quickly transformed into one of the hottest bars in Phillyâone of the hottest gay bars, that is. While Dennis and Dee bartend, Mac and Charlie try to find black friends to prove they're not racist. | | Guest Stars: Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress, Malcolm Barrett as Terrell, Telisha Shaw as Janell, | Co-Guest Stars: Ian MacKinnon as Brett, Sheldon Candis as Damon, Ungenita Prevost as Karen, Aaron Hartzler as Handsome Guy, Jesse C. Boyd as Boy, Sydney Colston as Large Man in Towel, George Weiss Vando as Guy, Montre Burton as Guy #2, Jon Cellini as Guy #3 | Director: John Fortenberry Writer: Charlie Day (1), Rob McElhenney | | | |
| 2 :01x02 - Charlie Wants an Abortion (Aug/11/2005) | | A woman from Charlie's past returns to tell him that he's the father of her ten-year-old son. Charlie agrees to spend some time with the bratty kid, with the sole intention of taking him to get a paternity test. The appearance of the child brings up the topic of abortion, and Mac tries to learn more about the issue. He meets a pro-life protester named Megan, whom he tries to impress by pretending to be very interested in the cause. | | Guest Stars: Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress, Spencer Daniels as Tommy, Autumn Reeser as Megan, Heather Donahue as Stacy Corvelli, | Co-Guest Stars: Amy Higgins as Receptionist, Holly Reiser as Girl With Shirt, Esther Ellsworth as Hippie Girl, Sonia Jackson as Crack Whore, Benton Jennings as Pro-Lifer, Cormac Bluestone as Jimmy Doyle | Director: John Fortenberry Writer: Charlie Day (1), Rob McElhenney | | | |
| 3 :01x03 - Underage Drinking: A National Concern (Aug/16/2005) | | The gang opens up their bar to teenagers once they realize how much money can be made serving minors. The influx of high school students makes them think back to their own schooldays. Charlie, Mac, and Dee were losers in school and can't help but hang out with the teenagers who now accept them. Dennis thinks they're pathetic for doing so, but he soon finds himself being blackmailed by a student into going to the prom. | | Guest Stars: Robert Adamson as Trey, Katie Chonacas as Sara, Jaimie Alexander as Tammy, | Co-Guest Stars: Ryan Alvarez as Billy, Trish Coren as Another Girl, Brian McLaughlin as Kid, Greg Alba as Kid #2, Kelsie Lynn as Girl With Braces | Director: Daniel Attias Writer: Rob McElhenney Story: Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day (1) | | Songs: Alphaville -- Forever Young | | | |
| 4 :01x04 - Charlie Has Cancer (Aug/23/2005) | | When Mac and Dennis learn that Charlie has cancer, they attempt to find a woman so that he can get laid one last time. Mac suggests asking Carmen, a good-looking woman he has seen at the bar. Though she may be hot, she's actually a transsexual. The guys then decide to go after the woman Charlie has been pursuing: the waitress. However, they'll need help from Dee, who is in over her head trying to single-handedly run the bar. | | Guest Stars: Artemis Pebdani as Artemis, Brittany Daniel as Carmen, Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress, | Co-Guest Stars: Dennis Hogan as Construction Worker, Dennis Hart as Construction Worker #2 | Director: Rob McElhenney Writer: Rob McElhenney | | Songs: Rick Astley -- Never Gonna Give You Up | | | | | | | | | | | | |
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