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Season 3 |
| 18 :03x01 - The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby (Sep/13/2007) | | In the series' third season premiere, the gang discovers an abandoned baby in a dumpster. Mac and Dee decide to try and get rich off of him by breaking him into show business. Meanwhile, Dennis takes an interest in environmental activism, while Frank and Charlie discover how many treasures can be found lying around in the garbage. | | Guest Stars: Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress, Lynne Marie Stewart as Charlie's Mom, Todd Grinnell as Sage, Jackie Tohn as Asriel, Lucy Devito as Woman, | Co-Guest Stars: Danny Hill as Tan Clerk, Isaac Gabaeff as Mountain the Hippie, Kate Mulligan as Brenda (Baby Agent) | Director: Jerry Levine (1)
Writer: Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day (1) | | Songs: The Doors -- Riders on the Storm | | | |
| 19 :03x02 - The Gang Gets Invincible (Sep/13/2007) | | The Philadelphia Eagles are holding tryouts for the public, and Mac and Dennis use this as an opportunity to prove who the better football player is. Dee joins the competition, determined to outplay both of them. Charlie and Frank also get in on the events by tailgating the tryouts. Unfortunately, their plans are disrupted by the McPoyles, who are there to support their brother. | | Guest Stars: Faizon Love as Coach, Jimmi Simpson as Liam McPoyle, Nate Mooney as Ryan McPoyle, Bob Rusch as Doyle McPoyle, Artemis Pebdani as Artemis, Geoffrey Owens as Middle Age Black Guy (McNabb Imposter), | Co-Guest Stars: Steven Lee Allen (1) as Fat Guy, Philip Newby as Nebbish Guy, Thesy Surface as Margaret McPoyle | Director: Fred Savage
Writer: Glenn Howerton, David Hornsby, Charlie Day (1) | | | |
| 20 :03x03 - Dennis and Dee's Mom Is Dead (Sep/20/2007) | | Dennis and Dee's mother has died. And now for the bad news: she left all of the money to Bruce, Dennis and Dee's philanthropist father. She also left ownership of her house to Dennis. He, along with Mac and Charlie, decide to use it as a "party mansion." However, the three soon realize that they have no other friends and search for some new guys to hang out with. Dee and Frank received nothing from the will, so they come up with a plan to trick Bruce into giving them his inherited money. | | Guest Stars: Stephen Collins (1) as Bruce Mathis, Brian Unger as Attorney, Jose Yenque as Ernesto, Sam Witwer as Muscular Guy, | Co-Guest Stars: Marcus Toji as Phil, Edward Kiniry-Ostro as Jonathan, Cy Carter as Blonde Guy | Director: Matt Shakman
Writer: David Hornsby, Rob McElhenney | | | |
| 21 :03x04 - The Gang Gets Held Hostage (Sep/20/2007) | | The gang is held hostage when the McPoyle siblings barge into the pub with guns and demands. They begin to form alliances and try and figure out the best way to get themselves out of the situation. However, all of them prove to be disloyal friends who have no problem stabbing one another in the back. While all of this is happening, Frank is stuck crawling through the vents of the pub in search of his will that's hidden somewhere up there. | | Guest Stars: Jimmi Simpson as Liam McPoyle, Nate Mooney as Ryan McPoyle, Thesy Surface as Margaret McPoyle | Director: Fred Savage
Story: Lisa Parsons | Teleplay: Rob McElhenney | | | |
| 22 :03x05 - The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo (Sep/27/2007) | | Dee learns that Ingrid, a fellow loser from high school, is now slimmed down and successful. Inspired by Dee's childhood dreams of having her own clothing line, Ingrid now runs her own clothing store. Not wanting to be outdone by "Fatty Magoo," Dee designs a dress and employs Charlie to sew the prototype. This draws the attention of Dennis, who draws up his own fashion plans. Frank and Mac start a sweatshop to manufacture Dennis' designs to sell to Ingrid, whose disinterest in purchasing them is ignored. | | Guest Stars: Judy Greer as Ingrid, Rachelle Wood as Model, Michael Friedman as Young Cop | Director: Fred Savage
Writer: Glenn Howerton, Charlie Day (1) | | Songs: Rick Astley -- Together Forever | | | | | | |
| 24 :03x07 - The Gang Sells Out (Oct/04/2007) | | A corporate rep offers the guys a large amount of money for their precious pub. Naturally, they give in without much hesitation and try to push the deal even further by setting some more demands. While the guys look to gain a bit, non-partner Dee has now lost her job and must find a new place to work. | | Guest Stars: Richard Ruccolo as Corporate Rep, Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress, | Co-Guest Stars: Mighty Echoes as The Yellow Jackets, Charles G. Davis as Raz, John Lathan as Scoots, John Rubin as Pipe, Harvey Shield as Crazy Legs, Phil De Barros as Hawky, Terence Bernie Hines (1) as Father, David Gueriera as Host | Director: Matt Shakman
Writer: David Hornsby, Charlie Day (1) | | | |
| 25 :03x08 - Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire (Oct/04/2007) | | Mac and Charlie, certain that they can create better, more honest news stories than what's currently being broadcast, go out in search of stories to report on. Frank joins them, while Dennis and Dee argue that people want news about celebrities and stardom instead of real-life upsets. The two then try to become famous themselves by hanging out at the dance club in hopes of catching people's attention. | | Co-Guest Stars: Richard Bakalyan as Carl (as Dick Bakalyan), Pedro Lopez as Dancing Guy, Brittany Paige as Club Girl #1, Lillian Adams as Irvene, Bill Seward as Reporter, Alex Sol as Bouncer | Director: Fred Savage
Story: Rob McElhenney | Teleplay: Scott Marder, Rob Rosell | | | |
| 26 :03x09 - Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person (Oct/11/2007) | | Dee's new boyfriend, Lil' Kev, is a local rap celebrity. He's also retarded, according to Dennis. Mac figures that if a retarded person can become a famous musician, what's stopping them from doing the same thing? He, Charlie, and Frank form their own band in hopes of becoming local celebrities, though creative differences could disarray the band's state of cohesion. Meanwhile, Dee tries to figure out her boyfriend's state of mind. | | Guest Stars: Kyle Davis as Lil' Kevin, | Co-Guest Stars: Judith Drake as Lil' Kevin's Mom, Nick Toren as Salesman | Director: Jerry Levine (1)
Story: Glenn Howerton | Teleplay: Rob Rosell, Scott Marder | | | | | | |
| 28 :03x11 - Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender (Oct/25/2007) | | A nearby prison has just released some of its inmates due to overcrowding. This becomes problematic for Dennis, who looks exactly like one of the ex-cons. Another one of the released prisoners is Mac's dad, Luther. This is an exciting time for Mac, who desperately wants to bond with his father and have the childhood he never got to experience. While Mac tries to bring his parents back together, Charlie tries to break his parents apart when Frank leaves him for Charlie's mother. | | Guest Stars: Lynne Marie Stewart as Charlie's Mom, Sandy Martin as Mac's Mom, Gregory Scott Cummins as Luther, | Co-Guest Stars: Connor McCoy as Timmy, Gary Kraus (1) as Dad, Mary Ann Hermansen as Betty, Bryan Birge as Police Officer, Katie McElhenney as Woman #1, Kathy Romano as Woman #2 | Director: Jerry Levine (1)
Writer: Rob McElhenney | | Songs: Styx -- Lady | | | |
| 29 :03x12 - The Gang Gets Whacked: Part 1 (Nov/01/2007) | | The gang discovers a bag of cocaine hidden inside some speakers found on the street. They collectively decide that the most logical thing to do is to sell the drugs. However, the drugs belong to the mob, who demands they return them at once or pay the money they're worth. With the drugs already sold for a very measly sum, the guys must resort to the lowest means possible to get the money. Unfortunately, Frank refuses to pay the difference, so the gang attempts more drug-selling in addition to prostitution. | | Guest Stars: John Mariano as Johnny, James Price Jr. as Anthony, Matt CedeÃąo as Rico, Gregg Weiner as Bingo, | Co-Guest Stars: Mario Di Donato as Lefty, Big Will Harris as Security Guard, Robert Towers as Buster the Jockey | Director: Matt Shakman
Writer: Glenn Howerton, Scott Marder, Rob Rosell | | | |
| 30 :03x13 - The Gang Gets Whacked: Part 2 (Nov/01/2007) | | The gang continues to try and earn enough money to pay back what they owe the mob. Charlie and Dee go back to selling drugs and run into an old friend to help them out. Dennis, with Frank's guidance, maintains his role as a male escort. Mac, after being abandoned by the rest of the guys, goes to the mob in hopes of being accepted as a member of their group. | | Guest Stars: John Mariano as Johnny, James Price Jr. as Anthony, Joseph Cortese as Sal (as Joe Cortese), David Hornsby as Matthew Mara "Rickety Cricket", | Co-Guest Stars: Mario Di Donato as Lefty, Karen James (1) as Frannie (Sal's Wife) | Director: Matt Shakman
Writer: Scott Marder, Rob Rosell | | Songs: Stacey Q -- Two of Hearts | | | |
| 31 :03x14 - Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City (Nov/08/2007) | | Masturbating bums have become a problem. Mac and Dee turn to a neighborhood crime watch group for help in cleaning up the streets but find they're going to have to take matter's into their own hands. Frank, Dennis, and Charlie are less concerned with the entire neighborhood and look for a junkyard dog to keep undesirables away from the bar. They happen upon an old police car and take to impersonating cops. | | Guest Stars: Tracey Walter as Bum, Carla Renata as Police Clerk, Lee Weaver as Junkyard Owner, | Co-Guest Stars: Michael Merton as Neighborhood Leader, Russ Widdall as Hot Dog Vendor, Ryan Homchick as Jaywalker, Robert Michael Kelly as Pedestrian, Bob McElhenney as Tweaker | Director: Jerry Levine (1)
Writer: Charlie Day (1), David Hornsby | | | |
| 32 :03x15 - The Gang Dances Their Asses Off (Nov/15/2007) | | Charlie signs the bar up to host a dance marathon hosted by a popular radio station. However, he mistakenly submits the bar as the grand prize. Now the gang must, well, dance their asses off in order to win the contest and keep the bar. This won't be an easy feat once they realize that some people they've screwed over in the past show up, determined to outlast the gang. | | Guest Stars: Mary Elizabeth Ellis as Waitress, David Hornsby as Matthew Mara "Rickety Cricket", Jason Sklar as DJ Squirrely D, Randy Sklar as Fat Michael, Michael Auteri as Homeless Larry, Jeff Meacham as Robert, Aja Evans as Gloria | Director: Matt Shakman
Writer: Scott Marder, Rob Rosell, David Hornsby | | Songs: Bell Biv DeVoe -- Poison, Berlin -- Take My Breath Away | | | |
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