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After getting ditched in an alley with a mugger, Dee begins taking boxing lessons with Frank to learn self-defense. Tired of getting pushed around at the gym, she turns to steroids for help. Mac and Dennis insist that learning fighting techniques is useless in the real world. Once they see how much money can be made in an underground fighting match, they sign Charlie up as a fighter and train him to withstand constant beatings.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 2x5
Production Number: IP02007
Airdate: Thursday July 13th, 2006
Network: FX

Alternate Airdates:

NL (Comedy Central) Jul 29, 2009

Guest Stars
Eddie MekkaEddie Mekka
As Bobby Thunderson
Jessie WardJessie Ward
As Brianna
James Van OverJames Van Over
As Rough Dude
Katie KreislerKatie Kreisler
As Shady Woman

Co-Guest Stars
Dan PonceDan Ponce
As Marco
Sean TwomeySean Twomey
As Bookmaker
Main Cast
Charlie DayCharlie Day
As Charlie Kelly
Glenn HowertonGlenn Howerton
As Dennis Reynolds
Kaitlin OlsonKaitlin Olson
As Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds
Danny DeVitoDanny DeVito
As Frank Reynolds
Episode Notes
The original episode title was to be "Sweet Dee Takes Steroids."

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
BeethovenMoonlight SonataFrank knocks out Bobby in the ring
Joe EspositoYou're the BestDee and Charlie train (montage)

Episode Quotes
Dennis: Million Dollar Baby is totally unrealistic. Girls can't fight. They don't have muscles.
Dee: Well, OK, that is a horribly sexist thing to say.
Dennis: It's not sexist. It's just truthful, you know?
Charlie: Girls can't pull trucks through snow.
Dee: Oh, can you pull trucks through snow?
Charlie: I absolutely could.
Dee: You can barely walk in the snow, Charlie.

Mac: Is this about that stupid Million Dollar Baby movie, Dee?
Dee: No, actually, Mac, it's about being left in an alley with a mugger because my chicken-shit brother and his friends ditched me.
Frank: You ditched your sister?
Dennis: Absolutely.
Frank: In a—with a mugger—
Dennis: The guy had a knife.
Mac: Of course we did! (laughing) What were we supposed to do?

Frank: All right, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all the weight on your neck. Then you're gonna jam your legs down and hyper-extend your ankles, and then shoot back up and lock your knees in place.
Dee: Not one of those things sounds right to me. At all.

Charlie: (hurts his hand punching a board) Oh, my God, what is that made out of?
Dennis: It's a board so it's, you know, made out of wood.
Mac: Well, it's like particles.
Charlie: That's like harder than wood, dude.
Mac: No, it's actually softer than wood.

Dennis: What happened, man? I thought you were—
Charlie: I don't know. I guess I wasn't like drunk enough or something.
Dennis: Oh, yeah, you should probably be really drunk for this.
Mac: Well, we should all be drunk for this.

Bobby: (to Dee) Listen, little buttercup, I'm just busting your old man's balls. You don't have to get your panties in an uproar!

Shady Woman: (informing Dee about her "performance enhancing supplements") This is the good stuff. You'll feel it almost immediately, but I should warn you: you may experience some mood swings, some irrational thinking here and there, but it is nothing compared to the long-term effects.
Dee: Which are what?
Shady Woman: You ever punched a guy so hard in the eye he swallowed it?
Dee: I'll get some water.

Brianna: You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup.
Dee: I will eat your babies, bitch!

Frank: You're not ready for this fight.
Dee: Oh, I have an idea, Dad. Why don't you shut your fat little monkey face and hold the bag?

Bookmaker: What's the, uh, fighter's name?
Dennis: Clown Baby.
Bookmaker: Clown Ba—Clown Baby?
Dennis: Yeah.
Bookmaker: You mean like a baby clown?
Dennis: Not a baby clown, a clown ba—it's like a baby—it's like a clown that is a baby—
Bookmaker: Dude, I said cl—clown baby.
Dennis: You said baby clown. I'm saying—
Bookmaker: Dude, I don't even care.

Charlie: Oh, you're gonna die!
Dee: Oh, I am gonna rip your face off and make a shirt out of it, Charlie, and I'm gonna wear it!

Mac: Dennis, for the love of God, empty your pockets!
Dennis: OK. (pulls out a wad of cash)
Mac: What the hell is that?
Rough Dude: Give it to me!
Mac: (to the mugger) You give us a second!

Mac: (to the mugger) Know what? Stab this son of a bitch. (he walks away)
Dennis: Oh, wait a second. Oh, come on, Mac. Don't be like that, man. You'd have done the same thing, man. Come on, don't act like a baby! (to the mugger) Please don't stab me.

Cultural References
Episode Title: Hundred Dollar Baby

This is a reference to the movie Million Dollar Baby. It stars Hilary Swank as Maggie Fitzgerald, a waitress who aspires to become a boxer. The end of the episode where Brianna falls on the stool is a direct parody of a scene from the film. In her final match against champion fighter Billie, Maggie gets hit illegally, causing her to fall and hit her neck on the corner stool. This all happens in slow motion as it does in the episode.

Charlie: Rocky IV has Stallone in it, and he bashes a Russian's face to all smithereens.
Mac: Lifting anvils and shit and pulling trucks through the snow.

The Rocky movies star Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa, a successful boxer. In the fourth movie, he fights Soviet boxer Ivan Drago in Moscow. Rocky goes to Russia to train for the fight, so there are many shots of him training in the snow, including pulling a sled full of rocks.

Visual: Training montage

Charlie's and Dee's training sessions being set to the song "You're the Best Around" is a reference to the '80s movie The Karate Kid. The same song is used during the tournament montage.

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