Frank: We have to milk this cow for all she's worth. We need to be wooed.
(the guys sound their affirmations)
Charlie: I see what you're sayin'. I could go for some wood.
Mac: Uh, no, we were saying "wooed."
Dennis: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah, cool. We'll get some wood. We'll build something cool. Then we'll go get the money.
Dennis: That doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about, Charlie. We're talking about being wooed by this corporate guy—
Mac: Dennis, Dennis, just...
Dennis: No? It's a waste of time? All right, look—
Charlie: How are you gonna be wood?

Dee: I thought you worked at the coffee shop.
Waitress: Um, yeah, I do still, but a Starbucks moved in across the street, and they're stealing all our business.
Dee: Right across the street?
Waitress: I know.
Dee: Well, that is good to know. I love Starbucks.

Dennis: (to the corporate rep) Now, it could also be a statue, OK? Something real classy, though. Uh, something like where those American soldiers are raising that flag up in that one war.
Mac: The war where we saved Japan.
Charlie: Oh, correct. Hiroshima.

Frank: We dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan.
Charlie: Why the hell would we drop a "nucular" bomb on Japan? They make all our cars, dude. They're our friends.

Charlie: (to the corporate rep) Excuse me, sir. I would like a helicopter fly-by. I don't need to be in it. I just want your corporate chopper to fly by my apartment window real low and fast. That's it.

Charlie: Maybe I gave you guys a couple shares when my back was against the wall, I needed a little breathing room.
Mac: Bro, you gave me a shitload of shares one time for a half a sandwich.

Charlie: What do you want me to do?
Mac: I don't care.
Dennis: Yeah, get a job.
Charlie: Oh, get a job?
Dennis: Yeah.
Charlie: Just get a job? (shouting) Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Job Land where jobs grow on jobbees?

Frank: Wait, wait. I'm a little confused here. What's a twink?
Dennis: A twink is small and slender, like Mac.
Mac: Whoa, no. I'm too muscular. I would be a bear.
Dennis: Oh, don't think so, bro. Not hairy enough.
Frank: Smooth. I would be a bear.
Dennis: No, now see I don't think you'd be a bear either. As a matter of fact, I don't know what you would be because you're definitely not a twink.
Frank: I'd be a top, that's for sure.

Frank: What's a power bottom?
Mac: A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.
Dennis: Actually, Mac, you got it backwards. You see, a power bottom's actually generating all the power by doing most of the work.
Frank: Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?
Mac: Now, Dennis, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.
Dennis: Speed has everything to do with it. You see the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he's supposed to apply. Speed's the name of the game. Right, buddy? (turns to the corporate rep who has left during their lengthy discussion)

Charlie: So, job?
Waitress: I don't think so, Charlie. You're pretty weird. You make me feel uncomfortable, and you smell really bad.
Charlie: You say that, but I don't— (laughs) I don't see it.

Waitress: If they find out that I know that you're doing this, I'm gonna lose my job.
Dee: You know what? I'm not asking you to do much. Just, uh, just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.

Waitress: Wow, why are you so sweaty?
Charlie: It's really hot in here.
Waitress: It's not hot. It's freezing.
Charlie: It is freezing, isn't it? They're blazing that AC.

Waitress: I'm not fired, right?
Corporate Rep: Did you—did you hire these people?
Dennis: She sure did.
Dee: Well, she hired me.
Charlie: Of course she did. She's the manager.
Corporate Rep: Well, then clearly you're an idiot because these people are psychopaths, but no, you're not fired. I'm just kidding. You are.

When the father puts a dollar bill in Mac's coffee cup, he puts it in all the way, but in subsequent shots, the bill can be seen sticking out.

Dennis: (to the corporate rep) Now, it could also be a statue, OK? Something real classy, though. Uh, something like where those American soldiers are raising that flag up in that one war.

Dennis is talking about the famous photograph Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima. It was taken in 1945, four days after the United States invaded the island of Iwo Jima during World War II.