Mac: Well, first of all, it's not a jacket. It's a duster. It's like a jacket only it's longer, thicker, and far more bad-ass. I look like Lorenzo Lamas, and women find it irresistible.
Dee: Well, that part's just simply not true.

Mac: You know that Korean barbecue joint down the street, Mr. Kim's? Well, they just signed up for the pub crawl, which means now they're the last stop!
Dennis: What? They can't be the last stop. We're always the last stop. That's the only time of year we make any money!

Mac: Well, Dennis and Charlie are out collecting intelligence, OK?
Dee: Oh... You're playing spies now.
Mac: Intel is the name of the game, Dee! It's all about the intelligence.
Dee: And you picked the wrong two people.
Mac: Maybe so.

(Dennis makes a flashy entrance)
Charlie: That would have been a lot better if I was wearing the duster, dude.
Dennis: Come on, dude. It doesn't fit you. It's too big for you.
Charlie: That's why it's so awesome on me! It's like, why is that guy in a giant jacket? What is he hiding, dude?

Charlie: (pointing) Oh, shit. Look at the door, dude. See that door right there, the one marked "Pirate"? You think a pirate lives in there?
Dennis: I see a door marked "Private." Is that—is that the door you were talking about?

Charlie: (tries to open the door) It's locked. (pulls keys out of his pocket) All right, I'm gonna try this out.
Dennis: What are you—what is that, your apartment key?
Charlie: Yeah, see if it's gonna work here.
Dennis: That's not gonna work!
Charlie: Why not?
Dennis: We're not at your apartment, shithead!
Charlie: Well, how many possible lock combinations could there be?
Dennis: Oh, so many, dude, like hundreds of millions.
Charlie: Well, eventually they're gonna overlap!
Dennis: They're not ever gonna o—
Charlie: No, you know what? You're right. It's not working.
Dennis: Oh, no shit.
Charlie: It was worth a try.
Dennis: It was not worth a try.

Dee: (to Martha, slurring her words) Oh, I just think you're so full of magic. You're like a big round wizard.

Charlie: Wait, all the way home?
Sun-Li: Yes.
Charlie: So you saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in the garbage?
Sun-Li: Yes.
Charlie: Any thoughts on that?
Sun-Li: No.
Charlie: Oh, man. I like you.

Dennis: (about Sun-Li) When she jumps up on the stage, we'll blast her with the water. The crowd will go crazy. The other girls are gonna wanna join in, and we will save the bar, and then she'll break up with Charlie, ruining any hopes for happiness that that son of a bitch ever had.
Mac: Well, I agree with the first part, but the second part seems incredibly harsh.
Dennis: It's the best goddamn part.

Charlie: Uh, wait a second. You're gonna blast my fiancee with water, exposing her breasts to this entire crowd?
Dennis: Yeah, man. Is that cool?
Charlie: It's very cool.

Dee: (imitating Christopher Walken) He knew that if the gooks were to get their hands on the watch, they would take it, so he shoved it up his ass.

Dee is referencing the movie Pulp Fiction. Walken plays Captain Koons, and he gives a lengthy speech to a young boy about how the boy's father hid a watch in his ass for five years to prevent the Vietnamese from confiscating it.

Mac: I look like Lorenzo Lamas, and women find it irresistible.

Lorenzo Lamas is an actor most notable for his villainous roles. One of his most well-known roles was in the TV show Renegade. Lamas plays a bounty hunter named Vince Black who often rides a motorcycle and wears a coat similar to Mac's.

Dee: (imitating Rosie Perez) No, Mookie. I don't wanna do it. It's too hot outside.

Dee is referencing Rosie Perez's character Tina in the movie Do the Right Thing. Mookie, played by Spike Lee, mentions having sex to Tina, but she replies that it's too hot for that.

Plot Point: The talent show auditions

This is a parody of the reality program American Idol in which contestants sing in front of three judges. Mac is acting like Simon Cowell, who is rude, pompous, and wears little black t-shirts. Dee is acting like Paula Abdul, who is incoherent and often under the influence of something. Frank is acting like Randy Jackson, who is pointless and repeatedly calls the contestants "dawg." The show is sponsored by Coca-Cola, so the judges always have plastic red cups displaying the logo.