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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis

Charlie, Mac, and Dennis formulate a plan to take advantage of the rising gas prices. By purchasing excess amounts now, they can sell it in the future and profit. As usual, things don't go as planned. Dee is also out to make money when she learns that Bruce is going to give the family fortune to a Muslim cultural center. She and Frank try to stop him and get the cash for themselves.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 4x2
Production Number: IP04009
Airdate: Thursday September 18th, 2008
Network: FX
Special Airtime: 10:28 pm
Special Runtime: 33 Minutes

Guest Stars
Zachary KnightonZachary Knighton
As Random Guy (as Zach Knighton)

Co-Guest Stars
Eileen FogartyEileen Fogarty
As Female Bank Clerk
Jay HarikJay Harik
As Gas Station Owner
Melora HarteMelora Harte
As Woman (Suburban House)
Main Cast
Charlie DayCharlie Day
As Charlie Kelly
Glenn HowertonGlenn Howerton
As Dennis Reynolds
Kaitlin OlsonKaitlin Olson
As Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds
Danny DeVitoDanny DeVito
As Frank Reynolds
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Ray Parker, Jr.GhostbustersEveryone is in the van on the way to torture Bruce

Episode Quotes
Mac: We're getting plowed in the ass by the oil companies and the gas companies with their ten-gallon hats and their rotten ass-plowing hearts. So, as the brains of this organization, I came up with a plan.
Dennis: Lay it on us, buddy.
Mac: It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses, and doing a little plowing of our own. (Charlie and Dennis stand in silence) Not gay sex.
Dennis: Ah, OK, OK, OK.
Charlie: Ah, OK, 'cause that's what it sounded like.

Mac: You set the tone for the whole meeting.
Charlie: So if I'm, like, there while you guys are talking, and I'm just like—I'm like, uh... (grimaces)
Mac: That's terrible.
Charlie: I was ma—that was my wild card face. All right—
Dennis: What message are you trying to send with that?
Charlie: Really? Was that not a good one? Well, so what if it's more like—like, um, um... (makes another face)
Dennis: And you want 'em to think you're gonna take a dump?
Charlie: Seriously? That's what it looks like?

Frank: It's not a rape van! It's a spy van!

Bank Clerk: (referring to Dennis' poster) And what are those?
Dennis: Uh, these are gorgeous women with heaving breasts.
Bank Clerk: Why?
Dennis: Uh, well, to be perfectly honest, we sorta thought we'd be speaking to a man today, so...
Mac: Yeah, is there any way that we could talk to your boss because I think he would understand more better.
Bank Clerk: My boss is a woman.
Mac: Really?
Dennis: Your boss is a woman. Now this is a strange bank.

(Dee and Frank are in Frank's van, spying)
Frank: What do you see?
Dee: I can't see shit! Why would you tint the inside of the windows?
Frank: I don't want anybody to see in.
Dee: We can't see out, Frank!

(the gas station owner stops the guys from fueling)
Dennis: All right, well, wild card, do your thing.
Charlie: (opens lighter) So help me God, I'll blow this place to kingdom come.
Mac: Not that. Not that. Jesus Christ, Charlie.

Mac: (to the gas station owner) You're about to experience the hard knocks of a free market, bitch. Get ready to feel it where it hurts.
Charlie: Your dick.
Mac: No. No, not his dick. His—his wallet.

Frank: We don't wanna call the cops! They'll find the bug I'm gonna plant.
Dee: That's a baby monitor, Frank. You're planting a baby monitor?
Frank: Yeah ... lot of people are bugging their babies these days. I guess babies can't be trusted.

Dee: What exactly is it you're expecting to find here?
Frank: Lot of shady shit.
Dee: Like what?
Frank: Like maybe Bruce is banging dudes.
Dee: Why would that be shady?
Frank: Maybe the dudes are babies!
Dee: What? Bruce is not banging any baby dudes!

Dennis: Now explain to me how exactly we're gonna calculate the totals.
Charlie: Oh, it's easy, dude. You pour gas into the car using one of these funnels, right? And I count how much gas is going into the car.
Dennis: All right, let me—let me just stop you right there. How exactly are you planning on counting a liquid?
Charlie: Uh, I know how to count, dude.

Mac: So we've got to attract attention.
Dennis: Yeah.
Mac: I, for one, suggest me blowing fireballs to get that attention.

Mac: No, I—I think we gotta stick to the paradigm that we've set up. I mean, A-Team...
Charlie: No, no, no. Your paragon is failing us, man.
Dennis: Yeah, it's a paradigm, but yeah, it—it wasn't working.

Charlie: I'm gonna get some disguises.
Dennis: Why would we need disguises, Charlie?
Charlie: So people don't know who we are, you know?
Dennis: They already don't know who we are.
Charlie: You're not letting the wild card do his thing, OK?
Dennis: Is there any reason behind what you're doing?
Charlie: Wild card!

Dennis: Well, wild card over here decided to lose his mind!
Charlie: (in a Southern accent) I say, I say, that's just damn preposterous, boy.
Dennis: Well, now you're just talking like Foghorn Leghorn!

Mac: The reason that shit hasn't been working out for us is because we are not working with our full crew! I'm the brains, (to Dennis) you're the looks, Charlie's the wild card, and Frank is the muscle.
Charlie: Well, what's Dee?
Mac: She's the useless chick!

Mac: (driving the van) Guys, why aren't the brakes working?
Charlie: Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches! Yeeeee-haw! (he jumps out the back of the van)

Cultural References
Mac: Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right? Looks, brains, wild card. Think about it. The A-Team did it. Scooby-Doo did it. The Ghostbusters did it.

The A-Team is a television show about a group of four Vietnam veterans accused of a crime they didn't commit. They manage to escape and continue their lives as vigilante-fugitives. Scooby-Doo is an animated series about a group of four teenagers and their dog who solve crimes.Ghostbusters is a movie about a group of ghost exterminators.

Charlie: (in a Southern accent) I say, I say, that's just damn preposterous, boy.
Dennis: Well, now you're just talking like Foghorn Leghorn!

Foghorn Leghorn is a character from the Looney Tunes cartoons. He is an over-sized rooster with a Southern accent and often utters the phrase "I say."

Episode References
Charlie: I'm gonna get some disguises.

We learned about Charlie's love of disguises in "Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City." When Dennis and Frank show up in police outfits, Charlie exclaims, "You guys know how I love dressing up in costumes, dude!"

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