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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia :: Mac and Charlie Die: Part One (04x05)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | Mac and Charlie Die: Part One |
| Episode #: | 04x05 |
| Production Number: | IP04003 |
| Original Airdate: | Thursday October 02nd, 2008 |
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Episode Summary |
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Mac's father is being released from prison, and since Mac and Charlie are the ones who accidentally sent him there, they're certain he's going to come after them. In order to save themselves, they decide to fake their own deaths. Meanwhile, Dennis, Dee, and Frank discover a glory hole in the bar's restroom.
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Guest Stars |
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Main Cast |
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Featured Songs |
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| Artist | Song Title | Played When | | •Bon Jovi | Blaze of Glory | the very end of Mac and Charlie's video |
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Episode Quotes |
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Warden: And, Mr. Kelly, in your sworn statement to police, you claim that the prisoner told you that if you didn't, and I quote, "jam a bunch of stuff into your butt," he was going to "rape you so hard the room would stink." (Mac and Charlie nod) And he was going to, quote, "eat your butt and his son's butt in the stink until his stomach was full of ... your butts." Is this correct?
| Charlie: Oh, my God. (shouting) How do hobos fit all their stuff into a bandanna? It doesn't make sense, man! We're gonna need, like, a towel or a tablecloth or something! But (groans) it's not gonna look cool! We're gonna look like assholes!
| Mac: The only way that my dad is not going to kill us is if he thinks we're already dead.
Charlie: Oh, great, I was hoping you'd say that. Great, let's kill ourselves. Let's do it.
Mac: No! No, you didn't let me finish.
Charlie: It's no problem, dude. I'm totally on board. OK, I'm gonna grab a knife. I'm gonna jab it into your neck. I'll yank it out. OK, then your blood's gonna start going everywhere—
Mac: No, buddy, listen!
Charlie: You'll die in five to ten minutes, and then depending on how horrific that looks, I'll probably do it myself, too.
| Charlie: If we were gonna kill ourselves, it would be awesome, right?
Mac: Yeah. Yeah, if we were gonna kill ourselves, it would be with class, right? I mean, because if we—
Charlie: Of course it would be with class! What do you think, I'm not gonna die with class?
Mac: Maybe some type of explosion?
Charlie: Of course there's gonna be an explosion! You think I'm not gonna explode?
Mac: I'm thinking, Charlie, it would be some kind of blaze of glory.
Charlie: Of course it's gonna be a blaze of glory! I'm going down right now. (squirts lighter fluid on his arm)
| Dee: Why would you wanna have sex with someone you can't see?
Dennis: Well, Dee, I think the real question is ... why wouldn't you wanna have sex with someone you can't see?
| Dee: (knocks on Charlie's door) Charlie, open up! We got a dick hole in the bar. I need you to come fill it in.
Charlie: (to Mac) OK, I gotta go fill her dick hole, bro.
| (Charlie screams and throws a chair through the window)
Mac: Why would you do that?
Charlie: Huh? I don't know! It's all happening so fast, man!
Mac: You could have just opened it!
Charlie: Well, that's true.
| (Charlie and Mac walk through a pawn shop)
Charlie: Well, then focus, Mr. Million Dollars, and let's find something to blow up a car.
Mac: Oh! Charlie ... look at that wedding dress, dude. That's sad!
Charlie: OK, that is not gonna blow a car up, OK?
| Mac: So you're sure we'll have enough money for this and the wedding dress, right? 'Cause ... that is a great gun.
Charlie: We're not buying the wedding dress.
Mac: Yeah, we're buying the wedding dress!
Charlie: Are you crazy?
Mac: We can't just leave it here!
Charlie: We absolutely can leave it here! It's not gonna help us in any way, shape, or form!
Mac: That's crazy, Charlie. That's crazy.
| Charlie: Hi, um, we are in desperate need of something that will destroy a car and, uh, annihilate any traces of a human being.
Pawn Shop Owner: Lemme see what I got.
| (Mac shoots at the car's gas tank and misses)
Charlie: We gotta get a lot closer.
Mac: Closer? No, you gotta stay far away 'cause it's gonna blow up, dude!
Charlie: Chicken shit, I'll walk right up to that thing and shoot it.
Mac: No, you can't walk right up to it and shoot.
Charlie: It'll blow you to safety!
| Mac: Grenades and bullets don't hurt cars?
Charlie: All right, dude, new plan, new plan. The teeth, the envelope, the crash ... I think it's enough, you know?
Mac: You think that's enough?
Charlie: Maybe the cops will think we just, like, I don't know, disintegrated?
| Dennis: A man can wear a woman's shoe. You can't rule out trickery. I mean, that's why we need the viewing slot. (opens the slot)
Frank: This slot defeats the purpose. I can see your eyes! We might as well get married!
Dennis: It's the safest way, Frank.
Frank: Dennis, if I was looking for safe, I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.
| (Dennis, Dee, and Frank watch the videotape Charlie and Mac left)
Mac: Dennis and Frank, if you're watching this, then we're already dead.
Charlie: Our lives were horrible, horrible and sad, so we decided to end it all.
Mac: Not me, actually. My life was pretty sweet, but Charlie and I had a suicide pact, and I have to honor that, because I am an honorable man.
| Frank: I can't believe they're dead.
Dennis: I can't believe they didn't include me in their suicide pact.
Dee: What? Are you crazy? They're not dead! They're definitely doing something stupid, but they're not dead.
Dennis: You saw the tape, Dee! My best friends went out in a blaze of glory and they didn't even ask me to be part of it! This is terrible!
| Dee: (reading the will) Charlie's number one: "My ashes are to be made into a tea and to be dranken by everyone in bar."
Frank: Done!
Dennis: Oh, dammit, gross. Fine. What else?
Dee: Mac's number one: "In lieu of a body, which was most likely blown up in the most awesome way imaginable, I would like the duster to be burned and its ashes buried in an unmarked grave somewhere by the river."
Dennis: OK, well, that's crazy. I'm not gonna burn or bury the—the duster.
Dee: Oh! Yeah, we also both have to name our firstborn child Murphy because that was RoboCop's name.
Dennis: Goddamn it! Mac is dead and he's still bossing me around!
| Charlie: Oh, crap!
Mac: What?
Charlie: We should have got beans, dude. Hobos are always eating beans. Damn, man.
Mac: All right, we'll be fine without the beans, all right? 'Cause this is a perfect, perfect hiding spot.
Charlie: This would be better with beans, though.
Mac: Leave it alone with the beans.
| (Charlie reaches into his mouth and effortlessly pulls out a tooth)
Mac: How? How is that possible?
Charlie: I don't know.
Mac: Just put it down.
Charlie: You think they're my baby teeth?
Mac: (holds out a container) Put it with the other ones. You're not gonna be able to eat this hot dog.
Charlie: I'll suck it down.
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Cultural References |
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Dennis: What I'm having a hard time believing, though, Frank, is that there in an elite secret sex society behind that door in this building.
The sex party where Frank takes Dennis is a reference to the movie Eyes Wide Shut, starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. In the film, Bill (Cruise) goes to a secret sex party where its guests dress in black hooded cloaks and masks, similar to what Frank and Dennis wore. Like Frank, Bill had a password to get into the party, though it was "Fidelio" and not "orgy."
| Dee: Yeah, we also both have to name our firstborn child Murphy because that was RoboCop's name.
RoboCop is the eponymous character in the 1987 movie RoboCop. In the film, Officer Alex Murphy gets murdered and scientists rebuild him as a crime-fighting cyborg named RoboCop.
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Episode References |
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Warden: And, Mr. Kelly, in your sworn statement to police, you claim that the prisoner told you that if you didn't, and I quote, "jam a bunch of stuff into your butt," he was going to "rape you so hard the room would stink."
Luther asked Charlie and Mac to smuggle heroin into prison by putting it up their butts in "Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad."
| Luther: Yes, a few weeks ago, they came to apologize for getting me arrested.
In "Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender," Charlie and Mac thought Mac's father was killing people, so they told the police. Although they were wrong, Mac's father violated his parole, so he got arrested and told Mac he was going to kill him.
| Dee: (reading Mac's part of the will) "In lieu of a body, which was most likely blown up in the most awesome way imaginable, I would like the duster to be burned and its ashes buried in an unmarked grave somewhere by the river."
Mac first wore the duster in "The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation." Dennis, however, was the last one to wear it.
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Episode Notes |
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Episode Goofs |
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Analysis |
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