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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia :: The Gang Gets Racist (01x01)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | The Gang Gets Racist |
| Episode #: | 01x01 |
| Production Number: | IP01001 |
| Original Airdate: | Thursday August 04th, 2005 |
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Episode Summary |
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When the guys notice that business has been less than stellar, they hire Dee's friend Terrell to promote the bar. Thanks to his tactics, Paddy's is quickly transformed into one of the hottest bars in Philly—one of the hottest gay bars, that is. While Dennis and Dee bartend, Mac and Charlie try to find black friends to prove they're not racist.
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Guest Stars |
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Main Cast |
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Episode Notes |
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Ratings: 1.42 million viewers
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Episode Quotes |
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Dennis: And our mortgage is due in two weeks.
Mac: No, we paid that, like, a week ago.
Dennis: No, a week ago was three weeks late, Mac.
| Terrell: My sister goes to temple, so I got the hookup over there.
Mac: Oh, and hookups are good, but just to be clear, when you say your "sista," do you mean your sister or your friend...
Dennis: Dude.
Dee: Oh, Jesus.
Terrell: I mean my sister.
| Mac: (about hiring Terrell) When he's promoting, everybody and their mamas lookin' to get in.
Charlie: That's true. They do have, uh, "niggers hanging from rafters."
Waitress: Wow, nice.
Charlie: No. No, that’s not what I was saying.
Waitress: (to Mac and Dennis) Coffee?
Mac: Yeah.
Dennis: Yeah.
Waitress: (to Charlie) Hitler?
Charlie: No, I’m not—I'm not Adolf Hitler.
Waitress: I’ll make sure to put lots of cream in yours.
| Mac: Why do these people like you more than they like me?
Charlie: Oh, whoa, well, maybe it's comments like that.
Mac: I meant those people in there, not all black people. What am I supposed to say in that situation?
Charlie: You should say something different.
| (Charlie throws away a girl's number)
Mac: What are you doing, dude?
Charlie: What?
Mac: That girl was gorgeous. She's, like, the perfect opportunity to prove that we're not racist. She probably has friends for me.
Charlie: Well, come on. If anything, I think we should be focused on black men, first of all.
Mac: (pauses) What?
| Dennis: I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of 'em, and nobody's having sex, I just ... I—I don't care.
Dee: Oh, I'm sorry. I—I would listen to your dreams, you know? 'Cause your my brother, and I love you...
| Dee: How could you not tell me you were gay?
Terrell: I'm a musical theater actor, living in Philadelphia! I didn't think it was that big a secret.
| Mac: (reading from the paper) "Looking for that new hot spot to spot that stud? Well, Paddy's Irish Pub has plugged that hole."
Charlie: That's a nice notice.
Dennis: That's not bad.
Mac: No, it's not a nice notice. I don't wanna be plugging anybody's holes.
| Dee: (holding ice on Charlie's eye) Charlie, I think you need to see a doctor. This thing looks really bad.
Charlie: I did!
Dee: Well, what'd he say?
Charlie: He said that Janelle punched me in my eye!
| Mac: This is unbelievable. What the hell is going on here? You got black women crawling all over you, (motions to Dennis) and this Mary over here is the belle of the ball. Why do these people like you guys so much?
Charlie: Well, dude, it’s not that they like us. It's that they don’t like you. You know why? Uh, because you're an asshole!
| Terrell: Also, first thing we gotta do is get rid of these shamrocks 'cause nothing scares gays and black folks like Irish crap, you know what I mean?
| Janell: (walking into the bar) Charlie?
Dennis: Whoa, whoa, what is going on here? You guys know each other?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, that's the crazy bitch that punched me in my eye!
Terrell: Charlie! That's my sister!
Mac: Now, just to clarify, when you say "sister," you mean...
Terrell: I mean my sister.
Mac: Yes! OK, this is great. Because earlier, you were implying that I was racist because you thought that I was implying that all black people are related, and then it turns out that you people actually are! (everyone looks shocked and offended) No, that's not what I meant. Hold on a second. I meant that you two actually are.
Dee: Mac, stop talking.
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