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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Charlie Got Molested

Mac and Charlie's high school gym teacher has just been accused of molesting students in the past. The gang notices Charlie's strange reaction to the news, and they conclude that he was also one of the victims. Mac feels insulted that he was not molested and goes to confront the teacher. Dennis and Dee try to help Charlie cope with the situation, but they have different ideas about how to approach the situation.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x7
Production Number: IP01002
Airdate: Tuesday September 13th, 2005
Network: FX

Alternate Airdates:

NL (Comedy Central) Jul 20, 2009

Guest Stars
Lynne Marie StewartLynne Marie Stewart
As Charlie's Mom
Nate MooneyNate Mooney
As Ryan McPoyle
Jimmi SimpsonJimmi Simpson
As Liam McPoyle
Dennis HaskinsDennis Haskins
As Chris Murray

Co-Guest Stars
Andrew FriedmanAndrew Friedman
As Charlie's Uncle
Don ScribnerDon Scribner
As Police Clerk
Chris HendrieChris Hendrie
As Detective
Main Cast
Charlie DayCharlie Day
As Charlie Kelly
Glenn HowertonGlenn Howerton
As Dennis Reynolds
Kaitlin OlsonKaitlin Olson
As Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds
Episode Notes
This episode marks the first appearances of the McPoyle brothers, as well as Charlie's mother.

Charlie mentions his sister, but she is never seen and has yet to be spoken of since.

This is the shortest episode of the series to date. Sans commercials and including credits, it totals to only 19:10.

Episode Quotes
Dee: (about the child molester) Did this guy teach you guys?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: No.
Mac: Yes, he did. We were in the same class.
Charlie: No. Yeah, well—no, I didn't like it, though.
Mac: What the hell are you talking about?
Charlie: I didn't like that class.
Mac: What?
Charlie: I gotta go! (he runs out)
Dennis: Holy shit. Charlie got molested.

Mac: OK, look at this. (holds up a picture of him as a young boy) Look at this guy, huh? I was cute. I was energetic. I was fun. I mean, what exactly was this prick looking for?
Dennis: What are you—
Dee: Sorry?
Mac: If the McPoyles got blown, and Charlie got blown, then why didn’t I get blown?
Dennis: You’re goin’ to hell, dude.
Dee: Seriously.

Dee: I actually majored in psych, so—
Dennis: Yeah? Well, you failed all your classes.
Dee: So?
Dennis: And I had a minor, and I passed all mine, so I think—
Dee: OK, well, you know what? Three quarters of a major is a lot bigger than a whole minor.

Charlie: Where's your brother, dude?
Liam: We just stepped out of the shower. He'll be down in a minute.
Charlie: All right, li—listen. You guys can't go— (pauses) Did you just say "we"?
Liam: What?
Charlie: Did you just say, "We just stepped out of the shower"?
Liam: I said "he."

Charlie: You guys cannot go to the police and say that he molested you.
Liam: Why not?
Charlie: Because he didn't molest you!
Liam: That's true, but he's a dick, and we hated him.

Charlie: First of all, there are people out there who actually have been molested, and you guys are gonna exploit that for your own personal gain? You assholes are securing your place in hell.
Ryan: We've thought about it. We're willing to roll the dice.

(Mac grabs Murray's inner thigh)
Murray: What are you doing?
Mac: What do you want me to do?

Mac: If Murray was looking for the weakest he could find, it wouldn't have been Charlie!
Dee: Why not?
Mac: Because Charlie was a little bit of a psychopath. He had this thing when he got excited. His face would turn purple, and he'd just start biting things. I don't think Murray would have put his dick anywhere near him.
Dee: OK, what about the McPoyle brothers?
Mac: Oh, yeah, they were prime real estate. I'm sure he went to town on them.

Ryan: (referring to Charlie's intervention with his family) I think that went well. You did a wonderful job, Charlie.
Liam: I really think they bought it.
Charlie: Oh, yeah, definitely. I—you know, I gotta say my favorite part was at the end there when, uh, when we were all hugging, and my sister screamed and told everyone that I touched her vagina.
Liam: (laughing) Yeah!

Charlie: Excuse me, I'd like to, uh, speak to the detective, please.
Police Clerk: Name?
Charlie: Charlie Kelly.
Police Clerk: And what is this in reference to?
Charlie: Sodomy.

Charlie: Oh, uh, and the best part of it actually for me now is the fact that everybody thinks that I've been molested, so, in a way, my life is ruined. Uh, in the mean time, I'm gonna go in the back office and cry and cry and cry and drink for a while. (he walks away with an armload of alcohol)
Dennis: Emotional release. Another giant step forward.
Dee: My God, we're good.
Dennis: Doctor.
Dee: Doctor.
(they clink their beer bottles together)

Episode Goofs
When Mac is holding the picture of himself, he is holding it at the top. He is then holding it at the side when it cuts to the last shot in the scene.

At 7:11, when Liam threatens Charlie, there is some filming equipment that sneaks into the right side of the frame early in the shot.

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