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Jack finally meets the notorious Napoleon Bonaparte. He doesn't exactly "rise" up to the stature that Jack was expecting. James Madison has lost Louisiana back to the French and Jack must take on Napoleon in a cunning game of cards to win it back.
Saturday February 26th, 2000
Napoleon’s body guard’s name is Maxi Me. This is a take on Verne Troyer's character Mini Me in the Austin Powers movies.
The shot, Buttery Nipple, consists of -
1/2 shot butterscotch schnapps
1/2 shot Bailey's® Irish cream
The Butterscotch Schnapps makes up the bottom layer. The top layer of Baileys should be added using a spoon. This is a layered shot.
The drink, Sex on the Beach, consists of -
1 oz vodka
3/4 oz peach schnapps
Add vodka and peach schnapps to a highball glass. Fill with equal measures of cranberry juice and grapefruit juice, and stir.
Jean-Claude: I seem to have an unquenchable thirst for sex on the beach.
Jack: (Laughs.) That’s another drink, Em.
Jean Claude: It is?
Emilia: Forgive our rude intrusion, but I was hoping to glean some instruction from your negotiating tactics with the American.
Napoleon Bonaparte: In my experience, madam, women need no assistance with scheming.
Jack: Only two things scare me, sister – marriage and clown painting.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Admit it! Admit that I’m the best! Admit that you’re a liar! Admit I got a cute ass and you like it.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Why are you not looking at your hand?
The Daring Dragoon: I can look at my cards, sure, but then you might try and read my face to see if I’m bluffing. This way we’re both in for a surprise.
When Napoleon is first on parade there is no one behind the crowd, but as it proceeds, it comes to light that the crowd is lined up in a circle and Napoleon’s carriage is circling them.
Jack: Look, we managed to dump your tea in the river, sister. What makes you think we can bag a few French fries?
This is a reference to the Boston Tea Party that helped start the Revolutionary War.
Emilia: Don’t come crying to me when your wax wings melt, Jack.
This is a reference to the Greek story about Icarus, son of Daedalus, who, with his father, escaped King Minos by using wings made of feathers and wax. While escaping over the sea, Icarus began showing off and soared upwards towards the heavens. The heat from the now closer sun melted the wax and the wings came apart causing Icarus to fall to his death. This story has now become a social moral about societies that try to be closer to god are bound to fall.
Jack: Okay, here’s the plan. You get on the grassy knoll, I’ll position myself in the book depository, and we’ll triangulate that evil genius to kingdom come.
Emilia: Don’t be silly, Jack. That would never work.
Jack: You’re right. We need a patsy.
This is a reference to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy on Nov. 22, 1963, but adds the conspiracy element that was never proven. Even though it wasn't proven, many believe that Lee Harvey Oswald couldn't have done the assassination by himself.