Alex: You're dating a 45 year old woman?
Michael: I was, until she started seeing Professor Brightwiser.
Alex: Professor Brightwiser? (chuckles) How old is he?
Michael: I don't know, 67, 70. (sees Alex laugh) Yeah, you laugh, but Professor Brightwiser gets all the women. Ever since he got his hip replaced, he's been unstoppable.
Alex: (laughing harder) Oh, that's perfect. I'm not gonna die alone, I have you!
Michael: She's 45, Mom! God.
Joey: She's old! That's what's wrong with her. Boy, I didn't see that one coming. You know, I slept with a woman twice my age once. She was one of my teachers. I got an "A" in that class. That's how they caught her.
Sara: What do we do until I leave? I mean, the more time we spend together, the sadder it's going to get.
Joey: We could have a long drawn-out good-bye. Or we could do the smart thing and end it now.
Joey: Long drawn-out good-bye it is.
Joey: Oh, my God! You got the card with the baby in the sunglasses too?
Sara: Yeah, from the liquor store down on the corner?
Joey: Uh huh, yeah. It was either this or that weird Garfield condolence card.
Sara: I know! I love this. We both cared enough to remember the day, but we're both too lazy to buy a thoughtful present.