The 13th season premiere finds Bill discovering he has diabetes due to his love of sweets, and must make lifestyle changes.
A run of "eco-fever" erupts in Arlen when Hank makes the suggestion that the company goes green after experiencing a scandal at Strickland Propane. Bobby and Joseph receive extra credit in school by planting trees, while Dale gets an idea for a fraudulent carbon offset business.
Kahn's idol, Ted Wassonasong, buys a house within the neighborhood, but has no intention of residing there. He does have plans for the home, but the neighborhood may not like it.
When Mr. Strickland decides to put Strickland Propane on My Space, hank has a feeling this is a bad idea. His fears are founded when Donna posts personal videos and information on the site.
The faculty at Tom Landry Middle School are confused what to do with the "No student left behind" policy after all the students are doing poorly. So Principal Moss make a plan to get by the law, which will affect Bobby.
Peggy has finally figured a way they can afford a new flat-screen TV, by investing in companies in which "average American consumer" Bill purchases.
Hank gets into an argument with his new neighbor about how the Order of the Straight Arrow, a local chapter of a boys club, should be run.
Lucky's sister Myrna and her children attend a baby shower in which Peggy is throwing for Luanne. It doesn't take long before Myrna and Peggy clash over how the children will be raised by Luanne, with Peggy wanting the good, old fashioned skills where as Myrna likes the more modern way and by the book.
The Propane Hall of Fame is inducting Buck Strickland this year and he has asked Hank to come with him to make sure he stays out of trouble. This becomes a hard task after Buck meets his illegitimate son while at the event in Memphis.
When Peggy and Hank's date night runs late, they forget to pick up Bobby at the mall. An angry Bobby uses his parents' guilt over the incident to pit them against one another in a fight for his affection. When Peggy and Hank stop giving him everything he wants and offer him more time with them instead, Bobby fesses up to what his devious strategy has been.
Hank and his buddies sulk as the anniversary of their big high school football championship loss approaches. With the winning team mocking them, Hank and the gang ask for a rematch. During a practice session, Hank breaks his nose. He goes to a plastic surgeon to get it fixed, and is extremely pleased with his new nose - so much so that he is afraid to play football and run the risk of damaging it. When Hank realizes his teammates need him for the most important comeback game of their lives, he rethinks his decision.
Peggy discovers just how uncool she has become when she stops into a store to buy a cassette tape, and starts a quest to find out what is considered "in" now. She becomes friends with Katt Savage, the coolest, most glamorous mom at Bobby's cotillion class. Peggy is introduced to trendy wine bars, as Katt introduces her to all her cool friends and shows her all the latest fashions. Peggy and Bobby will use all she has learned when Bobby is asked by Katt to come to her daughter's coming out party.
Hank is assigned to keep watch over Dale, when his wife, Nancy, leaves Arlen for Dallas to become a TV news reporter. Dale feels a sense of freedom while Nancy is away. But when his behavior gets out of control, Peggy and Hank beg for Nancy's return.
Bobby is offered an intervention at the church, after Hank becomes upset by his misbehavior. Meanwhile, Hank and his pals challenge a rival neighborhood to a Fourth of July fireworks showdown.
Hank is surprised by a package he receives containing the belongings of his late father, including war medals, his uniform and his last wishes on a video tape.
Bobby signs up for little league and sees his baseball career go through its ups and downs, while Hank and his coach have some friction between them.
LuAnne uses her manager baby puppets to become a children's entertainer and John Redcorn, an aspiring agent, wants to feature her on a children's DVD. Meanwhile, Dale writes a children's book about a gun and her missing bullet.
Boomhauer and a Canadian family switch houses for the summer and becomes friends with his new neighbor, Suzette. Meanwhile, the Hill's and their new neighbors do not get along as well.
Bobby seems to have become quite the ladies man as a number of girls in school are considering him for their homecoming dance date. But he learns that he's being played for a fool after being wined and dined by the girls. Later, Bobby is asked to join the local junior college’s meat examination team after discovering he has a knack for identifying different cuts of meat. His new found gift brings the Hill men closer than ever before.
Bobby becomes a steak critic.
Hank gets protective of his mother when he finds out that she's marrying a man she's only known for a few months. However, it becomes clear soon afterwards that it's Tillie herself he needs to keep tabs on.
Bill decides to get a roommate to bring adventure into his life, but Hank is weary of letting Bill making his own choice and pairs him with Principal Moss who lost his home in a divorce. Unfortunately, the two don't get along and things only get worse when Bill tries to fix it himself.
When Joseph is caught making out with a girl, Dale has to come to grips with the fact that his "little man" is becoming simply a man. In his efforts to curb his son's hormones, Dale starts making mistakes that make even him question his own sanity.
When Minh leaves Kahn alone, Hank is asked to keep him company. The two surprisingly hit it off, especially when Kahn comes up with an idea for a grand grill for an upcoming Strickland Propane event. However, things become unbalanced when Hank talks Kahn into ignoring a subscription refill, unaware that it's to treat his manic-depression.
Meanwhile, Bobby tries to figure out why an old comedy record of his father's is so funny.
Special Guest Stars: Bill Saluga
as Ray J. Johnson Jr. |