Peggy: Hi Luanne. How did the big shampooing final go?
Luanne: Well, I passed the lather part okay, but I failed rinse, and then I failed repeat too, because that includes rinse, which I don't think is very fair.
Dale: Hey, Peggy. Is Hank around?
Peggy: Sorry, but Hank is having his bathroom time right now.
Doctor: If you could stretch your father's intestine out, it would go around the world.
Hank: Wait a second. A piece of steak would have to shoot through at the speed of sound.
Dale: This one's guaranteed to work. You take a spoonful of baking grease...
Hank: I am not eating baking grease!
Dale: You didn't let me finish.
Hank: I would rather die with a burger in my colon than live eating faux-food.
Hank: Do you have anything that tastes good?
Health Food Store Owner: Uhh... no.