1 :01x01 - Pilot

When a baseball hits Bobby in the eye during a baseball game, the resulting black eye and Hank's short temper while dealing with a teenaged MegaLoMart worker cause a social worker to suspect Hank of child abuse. Meanwhile, Hank's friends, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer try to fix Hank's truck.

2 :01x02 - Square Peg

Peggy is mortified and tongue-tied when she finds out she has been chosen to teach sex education at Tom Landry Middle School.

3 :01x03 - The Order of the Straight Arrow

While on a camping trip following the wisdom of a Native American spirit called Wimitanya, Hank, Cotton and Dale send Bobby, Joseph and Randy on a snipe hunt, but the hunt is ruined when Bobby catches and kills an endangered whooping crane, arousing the anger of hippies and the park ranger. Meanwhile, Peggy sneaks out to buy special shoes for her large feet.

4 :01x04 - Hank's Got the Willies

Hank is worried that Bobby doesn't have a role model in life--and things get worse when Bobby accidentally hits Hank's idol, Willie Nelson, with a golf club during a day on the green.

5 :01x05 - Luanne's Saga

Hank's promise to find Luanne a new boyfriend in forty-eight hours after Buckley breaks up with her backfires when she hooks up with Boomhauer.

6 :01x06 - Hank's Unmentionable Problem

Hank's ongoing constipation causes great concern for Peggy and, much to Hank's embarrassment, everyone else in Arlen.

7 :01x07 - Westie Side Story

Hank's attempt to be neighborly with the new Laotian family next door is sorely tested after his neighbor treats him rudely, and even more so when he's convinced his neighbor served him hamburgers made from dog meat.

8 :01x08 - Shins of the Father

Hank's brash, sexist father, Cotton Hill, crashes Bobby's 12th birthday party--and stays over the Hill's house, which doesn't sit well with Peggy when Cotton's misogyny begins rubbing off on Bobby.

9 :01x09 - Peggy the Boggle Champ

Hank disappoints Peggy when she hires him as her Boggle coach and he doesn't take it seriously. Meanwhile, Bobby and Luanne go to great lengths to cover up a condensation ring on Hank's new coffee table.

10 :01x10 - Keeping Up With Our Joneses

Hank catches Bobby smoking, and makes him smoke an entire carton of cigarettes as punishment, but the punishment leads Bobby to be addicted to smoking (along with Hank and Peggy, who quit smoking when they became parents).

11 :01x11 - King of the Ant Hill

Hank's friendship with Dale becomes strained when Hank fires Dale as his exterminator--and things get worse when Hank's new lawn gets infested with fire ants days before the neighborhood Cinco de Mayo party.

12 :01x12 - Plastic White Female

Bobby is invited to his first boy-girl dance and he is very nervous, so he uses Luanne's beauty school model head as practice on how to kiss a girl.

13 :02x01 - How to Fire a Rifle Without Really Trying

When Bobby displays a talent for target shooting, Hank signs up for a father/son fun shoot competition—only to discover a buried childhood memory is still sadly affecting his aim.

14 :02x02 - Texas City Twister

Hank must save Peggy and Luanne from a tornado after Hank regrets not showing remorse for throwing Luanne out of the house and moving Luanne back to the trailer that Luanne moved out from after her parents were incarcerated for domestic abuse.

15 :02x03 - The Arrowhead

Peggy's excitement over finding Indian artifacts in the front yard distresses Hank when a condescending university professor tricks Peggy into letting him dig in the Hills' yard.

16 :02x04 - Hilloween

Hank goes to war with a litigious Evangelical Christian woman bent on banning Halloween and indoctrinating the kids by inviting them to a hell house.

17 :02x05 - Jumpin' Crack Bass (It's a Gas, Gas, Gas)

Hank finds himself facing possible jail time after mistakenly buying crack cocaine to use as fish bait.

18 :02x06 - Husky Bobby

Hank is determined to save his son from humiliation after Bobby decides to model for a husky boy clothing line.

19 :02x07 - The Man Who Shot Cane Skretteburg

Hank, Boomhauer, Bill and Dale try to beat a group of garage band teenagers in paint-ball.

20 :02x08 - The Son That Got Away

Bobby, Joseph, and Connie run away to a cave after each of them get in trouble for disrupting class, but the cave they run away to is a notorious place for teens to make out, which worries the parents.

21 :02x09 - The Company Man

When a new housing development is in need of a propane supplier, Buck instructs Hank to show the owner, an obnoxious Northerner who acts like a Southerner, a good time.

22 :02x10 - Bobby Slam

Hank is delighted when Bobby announces he's joining the school wrestling team, but Peggy is mortified when she learns her son must first wrestle Connie in order to make the team.

23 :02x11 - The Unbearable Blindness of Laying

In this Christmas episode, Hank is psychologically shocked into blindness after accidentally catching a glimpse of his mother and her new boyfriend having sex on Hank's kitchen table.

24 :02x12 - Meet the Manger Babies

Hank faces a dilemma of Biblical proportions when Luanne asks him to portray God in a live TV broadcast of her Christian puppet show, which is scheduled to occur during Hank's beloved Super Bowl party.

25 :02x13 - Snow Job

During a snow storm, a shaken and confused Hank becomes disillusioned about his life and career after discovering that his boss doesn't use a propane stove in his house and doesn't actually share Hank's passion for propane.

26 :02x14 - I Remember Mono

While updating files at Arlen High School, Peggy learns that Hank's two-week absence from classes during their high school days was due to monoucleosis, not a back injury, and is crushed that the story of how they met in high school is now a sham.

27 :02x15 - Three Days of the Kahndo

Kahn's misreading of an advertisement for a Mexican time share results in him, Hank, and Dale getting trapped in Mexico.

28 :02x16 - Traffic Jam

When Hank and Kahn collide with each other, they are both forced to attend traffic school courses taught by a raunchy black comedian, who begins mentoring Bobby in the art of stand-up.

29 :02x17 - Hank's Dirty Laundry

When a video store clerk inaccurately accuses Hank of renting a pornographic video and not returning it, Hank takes his case to the courts in an attempt to clear both his name and his credit report.

30 :02x18 - The Final Shinsult

After losing his driver's license, Cotton moves in with Dale and plots to steal Antonio López de Santa Anna's wooden leg to use as a bargaining chip with the DMV.

31 :02x19 - Leanne's Saga

Luanne's alcoholic mother is released from prison and starts dating Bill, whom she begins to abuse.

32 :02x20 - Junkie Business

Strickland Propane's new employee whom Hank hires turns out to be a drug addict who uses a legal trick that frees him from responsibility on the job. Meanwhile, Peggy is worried that a beautiful Hispanic woman (who was originally supposed to be hired at Strickland Propane) is trying to seduce Hank.

33 :02x21 - Life in the Fast Lane, Bobby's Saga

Bobby gets a job at the Arlen race track, where he discovers that his boss is a mildly retarded sociopath. Meanwhile, Boomhauer is given the chance to drive the pace car in an upcoming race.

34 :02x22 - Peggy's Turtle Song

When Bobby is misdiagnosed with attention deficit disorder (after eating too much sugary cereal and disrupting class), Peggy quits her job as a substitute teacher and becomes a stay-at-home mom.

35 :02x23 - Propane Boom (1)

Strickland Propane closes its doors after Mega-Lo-Mart begins selling propane for cheap, leaving Hank out of a job--and into one that he despises.

36 :03x01 - Death of a Propane Salesman (2)

The aftermath of the propane explosion from part one leaves Hank suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder around propane, a now bald Luanne repressing her grief for Buckley (who was the only casualty in the propane explosion) by becoming a Sinead O'Connor-esque activist, and Bobby worried about death.

37 :03x02 - And They Call It Bobby Love

Bobby falls in love with a 14-year old classmate, but soon learns that love hurts when the girl confesses that she only wants a platonic friend. Meanwhile, Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer become attached to a couch that was thrown out in the alley.

38 :03x03 - Peggy's Headache

Peggy gets hired to write for the Arlen Bystander, but the stress of a new career leads her to get treated by John Redcorn--and soon discovers that John Redcorn had an affair with Nancy and is Joseph's biological father.

39 :03x04 - Pregnant Paws

While Hank is busy trying to breed Ladybird, Dale decides to add a little excitement to his life by enrolling in a 4-hour bounty hunter training course.

40 :03x05 - Next of Shin

After Hank learns his sperm count is low, his mood worsens when Cotton shows up boasting that his new wife Didi is pregnant.

41 :03x06 - Peggy's Pageant Fever

Peggy enters the Mrs. Heimlich County Beauty pageant in hopes of winning a truck, but quickly discovers that she is not fit to compete with the other contestants.

42 :03x07 - Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men

While shopping at the mall on the Friday after Thanksgiving, Hank, Dale, Bill, Kahn, and Boomhauer are invited to be part of a focus group for a new mower (with Cotton as an uninvited guest), Luanne goes ice skating to forget about Buckley, and Peggy falls asleep at a shoe repair shop after tearing her loafer.

43 :03x08 - Good Hill Hunting

Hank takes Bobby hunting in order to initiate him into the mysteries of manhood. However, everything goes wrong when Hank discovers that it is too late for him to get a hunting license.

44 :03x09 - Pretty, Pretty Dresses

It's Christmastime and Bill becomes more depressed than usual. Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer decide to watch Bill so he doesn't commit suicide, but when Hank yells at him for being a burden, Bill's depression turns into delusion when he begins dressing in drag and impersonating his estranged wife, Lenore.

45 :03x10 - A Fire Fighting We Will Go

In a Rashomon-style story, Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer tell their own versions of their day as firefighters after getting arrested for burning the firehouse to the ground. Meanwhile, Peggy pulls a groin muscle and Bobby helps her recover.

46 :03x11 - To Spank with Love

Peggy gains a reputation as an abusive disciplinarian when she spanks Dooley for humiliating her during class.

47 :03x12 - Three Coaches and a Bobby

Bobby decides to play football, but after Hank hires his old coach (who has since gone insane), Bobby abandons football for soccer.

48 :03x13 - De-Kahnstructing Henry

Hank accidentally gets Kahn fired after revealing one of Kahn's top secret plans for his company.

49 :03x14 - The Wedding of Bobby Hill

After some prank-playing between Bobby and Luanne culminates in Bobby tampering with Luanne's birth control pills, Hank and Peggy decide to put an end to the pranks once and for all by tricking Bobby into thinking he must marry Luanne.

50 :03x15 - Sleight of Hank

Peggy is chosen to be a magician's assistant, but angers Hank when she won't tell him the secret behind one of his tricks.

51 :03x16 - Jon Vitti Presents: Return to La Grunta

Luanne gets a job as a drink girl at a resort called "La Grunta", where she's being sexually harassed by the golfers. Meanwhile, Hank goes to La Grunta to swim with the dolphins--and gets molested by one of them.

52 :03x17 - Escape from Party Island

Hank reluctantly drives his mom and her friends to Port Aransas to shop for glass miniatures, but things get even worse when Hank and the rude old women are trapped on the island by college-age spring break revelers.

53 :03x18 - Love Hurts and So Does Art

An X-ray of Hank's colon winds up as the main attraction in an art museum. Meanwhile, Bobby is diagnosed with gout after eating chicken livers at a new deli. Marshall Lancaster guest stars.

54 :03x19 - Hank's Cowboy Movie

Hurt by Bobby's negative views of his hometown, Hank tries to get the Dallas Cowboys to move their training camp from Wichita Falls to Arlen. However, his promotion video for Arlen is ruined by his wife's and his friends' incompetence.

55 :03x20 - Dog Dale Afternoon

After Dale annoys his friends by gloating over his new mower, he goes insane when they steal it as part of a prank.

56 :03x21 - Revenge of the Lutefisk

Bobby accidentally burns down his church after getting sick from eating lutefisk, but Cotton gets blamed for it due to his sexist attitude towards the church accepting a female pastor.

57 :03x22 - Death and Texas

Peggy visits a convict who tricks her into thinking he was a former student and uses her as a cocaine mule.

58 :03x23 - Wings of the Dope

Hank Hill gets a trampoline for his yard, where Luanne begins seeing the spirit of her dead boyfriend, Buckley, who tries to guide her to do something better with her life than attend beauty school.

59 :03x24 - Take Me out of the Ball Game

Hank is picked to coach the company's softball team, spurring friction between Peggy and Hank.

60 :03x25 - As Old as the Hills (1)

Part one of two. Fearing that they may be getting too old to be cool, Hank and Peggy spend their anniversary sky-diving, which comes to a screeching halt when Peggy ends up crashing in a field. Meanwhile, Bobby struggles with taking his pregnant step-grandmother Didi to the hospital when her water breaks.

61 :04x01 - Peggy Hill: the Decline and Fall (2)

Conclusion. Peggy struggles to regain her strength following her skydiving accident. Meanwhile, Bobby delivers Cotton's son (which Cotton names "Good Hank") but gets overwhelmed when neither Cotton or Didi embrace new parenthood.

62 :04x02 - Cotton's Plot

Cotton takes over Peggy's physical therapy in exchange for help getting a burial plot in the Veterans' Administration cemetery, but Peggy discovers a discrepancy about Cotton's service in the Army during World War II.

63 :04x03 - Bills are Made to be Broken

Bill's high school football record is broken unfairly and he tries to get back on the field to set things right.

64 :04x04 - Little Horrors of Shop

Buck Strickland insists that Hank take two weeks off from Strickland Propane, where Hank begins teaching wood shop at Tom Landry Middle School. However, Hank gets in trouble for violating the school's zero-tolerance policy on weapons when he asks his students to bring in tools from home.

65 :04x05 - Aisle 8A

Kahn and Minh go to Hawaii for Kahn's job and asks Hank to take care of Connie, who's excited that she'll be staying with Bobby, but becomes emotional and mean-spirited when she gets her first period, leaving an extremely uncomfortable Hank to both deal with the unstable Connie and tell Bobby about puberty.

66 :04x06 - A Beer Can Named Desire

Hank wins an Alamo Beer contest for a chance to win a million dollars by throwing a football through a one-foot hole in a giant Alamo Beer can, while Bill visits his eccentric Cajun relatives in Louisiana.

67 :04x07 - The Hank's Giving Episode

The Hills plan to fly to Montana, but are stranded with their neighbors at the airport by a snowstorm.

68 :04x08 - Not in My Back Hoe

A man named Hal becomes friends with Hank. Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer begin to feel jealous when the duo spends too much time together.

69 :04x09 - To Kill a Ladybird

Ladybird gets bitten by a raccoon. Hank gets worried about the bite. He fears that she may very well die.

70 :04x10 - Hillennium

Hank starts to fear the Y2K bug. He decides to try and get rid of today's technology by giving people old-fashioned things.

71 :04x11 - Old Glory

Bobby gets a new substitute teacher named Ms. Donovan. When he fails on an essay, Peggy helps him, eventually writing the whole thing. When Bobby takes credit for it, Peggy gets mad. It's the last straw when Ms. Donovan insults her.

72 :04x12 - Rodeo Days

Joseph thinks about becoming a rodeo star when the rodeo comes to town.

73 :04x13 - Hanky Panky (1)

Buck gets caught cheating on his wife, by his wife. She wants divorce from him. Debbie, the woman who cheated with Buck, blackmails Hank. While she tries to spy on people, she gets killed, and the episode becomes a two-part murder mystery.

74 :04x14 - High Anxiety (2)

Hank becomes a suspect in the murder of Debbie. He can't admit that he's innocent because he may have smoked some marijuana during the crime.

75 :04x15 - Naked Ambition

Joseph becomes a peeping tom after he hears that Bobby saw Luanne naked. Luanne believes that is actually Bobby who wants to see her naked.

76 :04x16 - Movin' On Up

Luanne is upset by the rules Hank gives her in the house, so she decides to move into another house. She rents it with a couple of college kids, but taking care of the house isn't as easy as it looks.

77 :04x17 - Bill of Sales

Peggy wants to climb the corporate ladder of business, but needs help. She asks Bill for it, but she pushes him too hard.

78 :04x18 - Won't You Pimai Neighbor?

Bobby becomes obsessed with Buddhism when monks come to him about a reincarnation.

79 :04x19 - Hank's Bad Hair Day

Hank needs to get a haircut. He asks Bill to give him one after an incident with his old barber. Later, he gets a huge bill from the Army, where he got his haircut.

80 :04x20 - Meet the Propaniacs

Hank thinks about Bobby's comedy career when he becomes a comedian at his workplace.

81 :04x21 - Nancy Boys

Dale and Nancy start seeing each other again. Nancy then considers going back to Dale, but is having a tough time deciding that.

82 :04x22 - Flush with Power

Hank tries to conserve water during a drought. He gets some new toilets, but they actually cause more problems than they prevent.

83 :04x23 - Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet

While in a bowling alley, Peggy feels embarrassed about her shoe size. A man comes up to her and tells her that he can help make her feet look beautiful over the Internet. Is this man really who he says he is?

84 :04x24 - Peggy's Fan Fair

Peggy sends a letter to Randy Travis with one of her songs. When she meets him in a fair, she hears her song being sung by Randy Travis. She then accuses him of stealing, and tries to get back at him.

85 :05x01 - The Perils of Polling

Hank feels that it is time for Luanne to star voting for the presidential elections. He decides to show her how by taking her to a fair where she can learn more about them. When she returns, she tells him that she will be voting for a candidate by the way he looks. Hank is shocked at this.

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In the meantime, Bobby gets to meet the incumbent president after saving the life of a pig. When Hank meets him, he is shocked that the president’s handshake is limp.

86 :05x02 - The Buck Stops Here

Hank wants Bobby to do some work over the summer, so he takes him over to Strickland Propane. Unfortunately for him, he finds out that his boss is teaching Bobby how to cheat.

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In the meantime, Peggy and Minh are in a competition to see who can donate the most blood. The winner receives a prize mug.

87 :05x03 - I Don't Want to Wait for Our Lives to Be Over, I Want to Know Right Now, Will It Be... Sorry. Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Do Do Doo Do Do, Doo...Don't Want to Wait

It’s Bobby’s 13th birthday. He is ready to act more mature and do all the things that adults do. When he goes out on the town with his family and the Gribbles, he sees that Joseph has grown taller and has a deeper voice. When they arrive at the restaurant, Bobby is still being treated as a little kid and Joseph is being treated as an adult. Bobby feels angry about this; he’s older than Joseph.

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In the meantime, Hank starts thinking about death, so he decides to build coffins for Peggy and himself. Peggy is terrified by this thought.

88 :05x04 - Spin the Choice

The gang celebrates Thanksgiving. Later, John Redcorn tells Bobby the truth about Thanksgiving, and he starts having second thoughts about the holiday.

89 :05x05 - Peggy Makes the Big Leagues

Peggy moves to substituting at a high school. Unfortunately, one of her students just won't do any work. No one cares since he's the star football player for the team. She feels that he should do some work regardless of what everyone else thinks.

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Hank wants to help Peggy with her little predicament with David Kaliiki-Alii, but he is hesitant to decide between football and grades.

90 :05x06 - When Cotton Comes Marching Home Again

Hank realizes that Cotton is having trouble taking care of his wife and child. He decides to help him find a job, but his promotion is not all that's cracked up to be..

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In the meantime, Peggy is trying to figure out what to do for her float in a parade: she makes a float against antiwar. Unfortunately, Cotton sees that his car is being used in it; it is in a state of degradation. This blows him over the top.

91 :05x07 - What Makes Bobby Run?

Bobby gets a position as the school mascot of the football team. He brings disgrace to his family when he cowers away from the traditional beating.

92 :05x08 - 'Twas the Nut Before Christmas

Bill is alone for Christmas, so he decides to create a Santa's workshop at his home after receiving a letter addressed to Santa. Then, Christmas passes, but Bill doesn't want to give up his position as Santa. He continues to work at it, but it gets very annoying to the neighbors.

93 :05x09 - Chasing Bobby

Hank watches a movie named The Roses of Time. He starts crying because his truck is about to break down. He must try and fix it. Can he do it?

94 :05x10 - Yankee Hankie

While Hank is looking for his birth certificate, he finds out that was actually born in New York.

95 :05x11 - Hank and the Great Glass Elevator

It’s Bill’s birthday. The guys decide to celebrate it in Austin. While there, Bill begins dating the governor of Texas. This is tough, since Bill’s ex-wife shows up again to take him back.

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In the meantime, the Hills minus Hank become addicted to charcoal. This is against Hank’s principles, so they decide to keep this a secret.

96 :05x12 - Now Who's the Dummy?

Bobby receives a ventriloquist’s dummy named Chip Block. Unfortunately for Bobby, Hank is showing too much attention to the dummy and spending less time with Bobby himself. Later, Dale, who has been scared of dummies since he was a little kid, tries to destroy Chip.

97 :05x13 - Ho Yeah!

After Peggy and Hank take in a woman named Tammi who just says she wants her GED, they assume she's a nice woman. But after a few suspicious gifts, welcoming men, and a new makeover for Peggy, Hank discovers that Tammi is a hooker!

98 :05x14 - The Exterminator

Dale’s doctor says that he has been spending too much time around chemicals. Anymore of it, and he’ll die. Dale is heartbroken; the chemicals are part of his exterminating job; it is his passion. Hank gets him a job at a different place, but his skills with exterminating are of no use where he’s going… or is it?

99 :05x15 - Luanne Virgin 2.0

Hank makes Luanne take program at the church to become a virgin again. Later, Peggy reveals that when she got married to Hank, she was not a virgin.

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Luanne meets a man who wants to sleep with her. Unfortunately, he’s a virgin and wants to save it for the right woman; Luanne is the one. He proposes to her. She says yes; against Peggy’s will.

100 :05x16 - Hank's Choice

Bobby has an allergy to pet dander. Unfortunately for Hank, this means getting rid of Ladybird, his faithful dog. Hank resists the order and tries to build Ladybird a doghouse. Unfortunately, Ladybird doesn’t want to live in it. Hank doesn’t want to get rid of Ladybird, so he makes Bobby live in it.

101 :05x17 - It's Not Easy Being Green

Bobby takes an interest in environmentalism. Hank thinks of this as “weird,” but he supports Bobby when he learns that they are going to protest against the draining of the quarry -- not because of the environment, but because they have dropped Boomhauer’s car into it years ago when he and the other guys were young.

102 :05x18 - The Trouble with Gribbles

Nancy Gribble gets let go from her weather girl job at the news station for a younger girl -- Luanne. Nancy is very upset about this, but later, she asks Dale for a face-lift. Dale doesn’t have the money so he decides to get it by suing a cigarette company for “making Nancy aged.” The cigarette company decides to pay Dale the low amount of money he is suing for, but reconsider when they decide to fight against the principle of his pointless lawsuit.

103 :05x19 - Hank's Back Story

Hank is to compete in an official lawn mower race against Dale and the others, but he starts experiencing some back pain. The doctor says that he has a diminished rear end; this is causing his back pain. He tells Hank to wear some prosthetic buttocks, but Hank is too much of a man to wear them…

104 :05x20 - Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story

Bobby passes himself off as a high school student to get a popular band to play at his prom.

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In the meantime, Dale invents the superior of all outhouses -- the Port-A-Gribble.

105 :06x01 - Bobby Goes Nuts

Bobby goes over to Connie's for a slumber party. While there, he gets beat up by someone. In order to make sure that never happens again, he decides to take some self-defense classes -- women's self-defense.

106 :06x02 - Soldier of Misfortune

Dale is the gun club president. Unfortunately, he loses it after making an accident. Someone else challenges him for the title. Dale needs to all he can to keep his position in the upcoming election.

107 :06x03 - Lupe's Revenge

While on a field trip in Mexico with her students, Peggy accidentally brings home a Mexican girl. While bringing her back, she is arrested.

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Meanwhile, Hank has a female cop falling for him.

108 :06x04 - The Father, the Son and J.C.

Hank receives a promotion from Buck after building a house, but loses it after showing his "affection."

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Meanwhile, Peggy decides to have Hank and Cotton spend some time together for Christmas as a sign of caring and affection. When it doesn't work out, there is only one person who can help them...

109 :06x05 - Father of the Bribe

Kahn is tired of Connie having Bobby as her boyfriend, so he tries to break them up by giving him money. Unfortunately, things go a little wrong when Kahn interferes with their personal lives...

110 :06x06 - I'm with Cupid

Bobby hangs out with Bill after his breakup with Connie. Unfortunately, he hears of Bill's divorce and this gets him depressed all over again. Hank decides to get him help with Boomhauer, but it's not working out very well.

111 :06x07 - Torch Song Hillogy

Bobby sees the many trophies Hank has since high school. He wants to get a trophy, but he can't. Peggy humors him by giving him one of Hank's, but Hank doesn't want to give it away. Later, the family finds out that the Olympic torch will be carried through Arlen by none other than... Bobby Hank.

112 :06x08 - Joust like a Woman

The family goes to a Renaissance Faire. When she sees the way women are treated there, she starts a rebellion which eventually leads to war...

113 :06x09 - The Bluegrass is Always Greener

Connie prefers bluegrass to classical music. She decides to join a band with and Hank and Company to perform in Branson, Missouri. Unfortunately, Hank goes over the top with Connie's playing and pressurizes her even more.

114 :06x10 - The Substitute Spanish Prisoner

Peggy is a genius according to an online quiz. When she is offered a coveted college degree for a small price, she accepts and uses the family fund. When she finds out she has been tricked into giving away her money, she must try and get it back...

115 :06x11 - Unfortunate Son

Cotton decides to spend some time with Vietnam veterans along with his World War II buddies. Unfortunately, he berates them by making them go through flashbacks of their memories in the war via "killing acts"; this makes the Vietnam veterans go against the WWII veterans and Hank.

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In the meantime, Dale gets a falcon for a pet. However, Bill isn't enjoying his time with it...

116 :06x12 - Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill

Peggy is desperate to find a full-time job, but she can't find one that involves teaching. She decides to work in the propane business along with Hank.

Later, she receives a job offer from a Catholic school... dishonestly!

117 :06x13 - Tankin' it to the Streets

Bill steals a tank from the Army after being convinced that he was used in a drug test. It's up to Hank and his friends to prove him wrong.

118 :06x14 - Of Mice and Little Green Men

Hank and Dale switch lives -- they become the "new" fathers for Bobby and Joseph. When Dale finds out that he enjoys Bobby's hobbies and does not like Joseph's, he comes to realize that he is not Joseph's father.

119 :06x15 - A Man Without a Country Club

Kahn wants to get into an exclusive Asian country club, but he can't unless he brings Hank with him. It is later revealed that Hank is the one who will receive the membership...

120 :06x16 - Beer and Loathing

Hank goes on an expedition to find out where his favorite brand of beer has gone. Peggy tries to find out for him by getting a job at the company. When she learns the secret, she finds out that she can't tell anybody, not even Hank; he is very anxious to know.

121 :06x17 - Fun with Jane and Jane

Luanne joins a sorority that brainwashes young women after being rejected from all others.

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In the meantime, Hank and the gang must kill his boss' emus, but are hesitant to do so.

122 :06x18 - My Own Private Rodeo

Dale and Nancy are going to renew their wedding vows. Nancy invites Dale's father; he and Dale haven't seen each other in a long time. When Hank goes to meet his Dale's father, it turns out that he has become a homosexual...

123 :06x19 - Sug Night

Hank begins to have fantasies of Nancy Gribble naked. Peggy fears he is going to cheat on her, so she decides to take Hank on a trip to save their marriage. Is there something in Hank's picture that she's not seeing?

124 :06x20 - Dang Ol' Love

Bill decides to get a woman by setting a trap for her. He succeeds in trapping her, but fails when she goes home with Boomhauer. Boomhauer realizes that he was never this much in love in his whole life...

125 :06x21 - Returning Japanese (1)

The family takes a trip to Japan for Cotton's apology to a widow of a soldier he killed in World War II.

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In the meantime, Bill and Dale serve as the house-sitters for the Hill household.

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Also, Luanne thinks she killed Ladybird, so she tries to find a replacement dog. It's not as easy as it looks.

126 :06x22 - Returning Japanese (2)

It turns out that the son of the widow is Hank's long-lost half brother. He and Hank need to stop Cotton from going crazy and attacking the Emperor of Japan...

127 :07x01 - Get Your Freak Off

Hank has been impressed by the music played by the boy-band, 4Skore. However, Hank begins to have second thoughts about the band when he takes Bobby to see one of the band’s concerts. The 4Skore begins to do suggestive dance moves that Bobby begins to imitate for his new girlfriend, Jordan. Meanwhile, Nancy and Minh begin to see whom the sexiest man on the block is, with Hank tied with Bill for last place.

128 :07x02 - The Fat and the Furious

Bill begins to disgust everyone on the block when he shows them his talent of guzzling hotdogs in a matter of seconds. Bill then finds himself at a loss, that is, until a woman from the Federation of Competitive Eating encourages Bill to compete in a contest based on his skill. However, things take a turn for the worse when Bill finds out that Dale also has a talent equal, if not better, than Bill’s at guzzling down hotdogs.

129 :07x03 - Bad Girls, Bad Girls, Whatcha Gonna Do

Connie’s family has her delinquent cousin, Tid Pao, over for a short time. Bobby then begins to fall in love with Tid Pao, which causes Connie to become extremely jealous. However, Bobby has become nothing but a tool for Tid Pao when he dumps Connie for her as his science partner. It turns out that Tid Pao is using Bobby to create a Meth-lab.

130 :07x04 - Goodbye Normal Jeans

After Bobby begins to cook for the family, Peggy begins to get jealous of him; because she thinks Hank likes his meals better than the ones that she makes.

131 :07x05 - Dances With Dogs

Bobby and Hank enter Ladybird into a Dog Dancing contest.

132 :07x06 - The Son Also Roses

Hank is annoyed at first when he notices that Bobby has an interest for gardening, but is very supportive after letting him enter a rose-growing contest, where he goes out of his way to make Bobby win.

133 :07x07 - The Texas Skilsaw Massacre

Hank accidentally cuts off Dale's finger while he is sawing a piece of wood. Dale makes it seem like Hank did this on purpose during court, so the judge sentences Hank to an anger management class.

134 :07x08 - Full Metal Dust Jacket

Peggy takes over the lease of a local book store. Later, she discovers that business is not so good there. To gain business, Peggy allows Dale to sell guns in the basement of the store.

135 :07x09 - Pigmalion

Luanne decides to become an entrepreneur. While in a class for entrepreneurs, she meets a man named Trip Larsen. They get closer and closer until Luanne becomes his girlfriend. She has no idea what he is planning to do with her…

136 :07x10 - Megalo Dale

There is a pest problem at the Mega Lo Mart. Hank thinks that Dale can fix this problem, but he is hesitant to recommend him. Dale, however, suspects another “pest” on the premises…

137 :07x11 - Boxing Luanne

Buck Strickland comes up with an idea to exploit Luanne. He uses her in boxing matches; when she wins, it boosts her confidence… it boosts it enough for her to go against Frieda Foreman…

138 :07x12 - Vision Quest

John Redcorn believes that Dale and Joseph should go on a “vision quest.” Dale begins having some visions; this makes him raise Joseph like an Indian.

139 :07x13 - Queasy Rider

After going to couples’ therapy, Hank and Peggy realize that they need some excitement in their life -- a motorcycle. Hank enjoys driving the bike, but when Peggy wants to drive it, he is hesitant to give her the front seat for the sake of manliness.

140 :07x14 - Board Games

Peggy, Minh, and Nancy all want to run for a seat in the school board after hearing about an after-school program being cancelled. Unfortunately, there is trouble when they all turn against each other; especially Peggy and Minh. When Peggy enlists Nancy’s help, she is stabbed in the back on local television. It’s up to her to set things right…

141 :07x15 - An Officer and a Gentle Boy

Cotton Hill comes over to the Hill household to recruit Bobby in the military so he can have some discipline. Unfortunately for Bobby, Cotton has become the principal of the school; he will make his life a living hell.

142 :07x16 - The Miseducation of Bobby Hill

Hank takes Bobby to work at his propane company. Unfortunately, Bobby has been abusing his power when selling the grills.

---

In the meantime, Bill gets stuck on a weather balloon and goes “traveling” through the town…

143 :07x17 - The Good Buck

Buck Strickland’s wife leaves him after getting tired of Buck’s bad habits. Buck is depressed; he decides to be a good Christian with the help of Luanne. Unfortunately, when Luanne turns down his marriage proposal, he is very angry. It’s up to Hank to “show him the light.”

144 :07x18 - I Never Promised You an Organic Garden

Peggy takes over the garden at Bobby’s school to grow vegetables. She enlists the help of some students to grow the vegetables with her. But trouble brews when the insects arrive…

145 :07x19 - Be True to Your Fool

Bill is revealed to have head lice. When he passes them off to the other guys, he is not allowed to drink with them anymore. Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer decide to shave their heads.
Later, Bill is arrested, but he does not wish to be let go after he gains popularity.

146 :07x20 - Racist Dawg

Hank causes an accident with the water heater at home. Peggy hires an African American repairman. When Ladybird attacks him, the repairman accuses him of being racist. Hank learns that Ladybird is an entourage when it comes to situations like this.

147 :07x21 - Night and Deity

Peggy creates a bird society. Unfortunately, this attracts many pigeons to the neighborhood and they are becoming an annoyance. Dale can’t do anything to stop them, but he knows someone who can -- a woman named Sheila Repkin. Unfortunately for Nancy, Sheila and Dale seem to be having an affair, and she is worried about the future of her marriage.

---

In the meantime, it is Luanne’s birthday. She decides to celebrate it with some friends.

148 :07x22 - Maid in Arlen

Kahn’s mother comes to visit. Kahn is infuriated when she becomes a maid for the Hills. Kahn becomes even more infuriated when she takes an interest in Bill. Kahn needs to figure out how to break those two apart.

149 :07x23 - The Witches of East Arlen

Bobby takes an interest in cards. Hank thinks that Bobby is playing with playing cards, but they’re actually cards that tell your fortune. To make matters worse, Bobby meets a man who tells him to disobey his father and use his power of fortune-telling for evil.

150 :08x01 - Patch Boomhauer

Boomhauer is upset that the woman he loves is marrying someone else -- his brother.

151 :08x02 - Reborn To Be Wild

Bobby starts to hang out with a Christian Rock group. Hank is okay with it, but reconsiders it when Bobby's attitude changes.

152 :08x03 - New Cowboy on the Block

A star football player moves into Arlen. He's always causing trouble wherever he goes. Hank doesn't want to admit it, but needs to decide what to do about the player before it's too late.

153 :08x04 - The Incredible Hank

Hank is unknowingly given male enhancement hormones by Peggy. Unfortunately for her, she turns him into a young adult.

154 :08x05 - Flirting With the Master

Peggy goes to Mexico to tutor some students. However, she feels that her master is trying to have sexual relations with her.

155 :08x06 - After the Mold Rush

Hank accidentally causes a leak in the pipes of his house. When an insurance man arrives, he tells them that they can't live in the house anymore because of mold. They must move to a hotel. Later, he sees his house about to be ripped apart...

156 :08x07 - Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane

Hank goes on a road trip with Bobby to Phoenix, Arizona. He is very fond of teaching Bobby the way of the trucker. Unfortunately, troubles brew when Hank's friends find out that they are not invited.

---

In the meantime, Peggy is thinking of a good Christmas carol for a get-rich-quick scheme.

157 :08x08 - Rich Hank, Poor Hank

Hank buys Bobby his first wallet. Unfortunately for Hank, this gives Bobby delusions of being rich. He tries to figure out how much money Hank makes with the help of his friends.

158 :08x09 - Ceci N'est Pas Une King of the Hill

Hank enlists Peggy's artistic skills to help out with the standards for his propane company. When she makes a sculpture, however, it is rejected. When she gets a deal with an art dealer, she is very excited. But does this person really mean what he says?

---

In the meantime, Dale gets a suit to wreak chaos in town.

159 :08x10 - That's What She Said

Hank sees a new employee working at Strickland Propane -- Rich. Everyone but he finds him funny, and Hank wants to file a lawsuit against him.

160 :08x11 - My Hair Lady

Bill and Luanne get jobs in the best hair salon in town, but they will have to make some major changes in life to keep their jobs.

161 :08x12 - Phish and Wildlife

Hank takes his friends and Bobby on a fishing trip. When Bobby gets hungry for some fish, he gets some from his neighbors at the campsite. It turns out that these people are hippies.

162 :08x13 - Cheer Factor

Peggy helps out the high school cheerleading squad in order to motivate the team and the crowds. When she is successful, she is promoted to coach. This is where she gets carried away.

163 :08x14 - Dale Be Not Proud

Dale is the only organ donor a hot rod driver can rely on. Unfortunately, Dale has a fear of hospitals. Hank tries to help him overcome that fear in exchange for being Dale for a day.

164 :08x15 - Après Hank, le Deluge

A flood has occurred in Arlen. The townspeople must get shelter in the high school. Hank is supposed to be in charge, but loses the position when he cannot make a decision; Bill takes over.

---

In the meantime, the others are trying to make the most of their time in the high school.

165 :08x16 - Daletech

Cotton gets a job as a police officer. Unfortunately for Dale, it is at his security company...

166 :08x17 - How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo

Hank decides to make a re-enactment of the Alamo after realizing that Bobby won't be learning about it in school.

---

In the meantime, Peggy is trying to teach safety rules to some children.

167 :08x18 - Girl, You'll Be a Giant Soon

Hank wants to enter a Grill-Off, but will no do it because they don't allow propane. Luanne decides to help him stage a protest, but gets a little carried away...

---

In the meantime, Peggy wants to see the laundry room of a house where a murder took place. Unfortunately, she can only see it if she is willing to buy the house. She just wants to see the "murder room," but she doesn't want to lose all of her money in the process...

168 :08x19 - Stressed For Success

Hank feels that Bobby should be spending time doing extracurricular activities, so Bobby joins the Quiz Bowl; he answers all the questions that have to do with celebrities. When he wins games with them, the other members of the team pressurize him even more, making him more and more nervous until he blacks out.

169 :08x20 - Hank's Back

Hank receives a backache while on the job. He tries to get some help, but no one can help him. He decides to try yoga; amazingly, it works. But there are other troubles coming up from insurance agents...

---

Meanwhile, Peggy is tying to save a store from going out of business.

170 :08x21 - The Redneck on Rainey Street

Kahn and Minh are downhearted when Connie is rejected from a renowned summer school. They decide to stoop down a level and live like "rednecks."

171 :08x22 - Talking Shop!

Bobby is trying to decide between shop class and peer counseling. He chooses counseling, but it won't be the better choice after awhile...

172 :09x01 - A Rover Runs Through It

Peggy goes to Montana to make amends with her mother. Later, she finds out that her mother is in bigger trouble than expected; celebrities from Hollywood are moving in and raising taxes.

173 :09x02 - Ms. Wakefield

When an elderly stranger, Ms. Wakefield, visits the Hill household during Christmas, Hank is thrilled to show her his house; it was also her childhood home. However, when Ms. Wakefield announces that she wants to die in their house, Hank and Peggy want nothing more than for her to leave. Ms. Wakefield proves to be more difficult to put off.

174 :09x03 - Death Buys a Timeshare

Cotton's friend Topsy takes the dirt nap and leaves Cotton $10,000. Cotton is saddened by this news, but he decides to buy a timeshare -- in Mexico; Cotton is tricked by a timeshare owner.

---

In the meantime, the family goes searching for a pool.

175 :09x04 - Yard, She Blows!

Peggy is jealous of all the attention is getting from his lawn. She decides to start a garden. Hank is okay with this, but he just won't allow the garden gnome she placed on it.

176 :09x05 - Dale To the Chief

Dale learns the truth about the Kennedy assassination from the government. After this, Dale becomes a nationalist.

---

In the meantime, Hank sees the sex as female on his driver's license. He must go through many channels to fix this.

177 :09x06 - The Petriot Act

Hank needs to take care of a soldier's pet. What he doesn't know is that this pet, a cat named Duke, is a very malicious creature. When he takes him to the vet to have him checked, Hank is given a very large bill...

178 :09x07 - Enrique-cilable Differences

Hank's co-worker Enrique has been having some problems with his wife; she has left him. Hank does not want to interfere with this, but he decides to help them get back together.

179 :09x08 - Mutual of OmAbwah

Hank fails to pay his insurance money. He must take drastic measure to keep his house from harm. This is not going to be easy with all the surrounding problems making the house very susceptible.

180 :09x09 - Care-Takin' Care of Business

The high school football team cannot play because of the condition of the field. Smitty, the groundskeeper, may lose his job because of this. Hank decides to help him by doing his job secretly.

---

In the meantime, Luanne has been dating a man named Lucky. Peggy is not so happy about this; he's a redneck.

181 :09x10 - Arlen City Bomber

In order to pay off her credit card debt, Luanne takes a second job at the roller derby. Later, Peggy joins her; there is more trouble when they must borrow even more money to start their own team...

182 :09x11 - Redcorn Gambles With His Future

John Redcorn needs another gig for his band, Big Mountain Fudgecake. He asks Hank if he can play at the Family Fun Day at Strickland Propane. Hank is in charge of the party; he will not let a thing go wrong.

183 :09x12 - Smoking and the Bandit

Smoking has been banned from Arlen. Dale is outraged by this; he decides to go against this law by going under a disguise as "The Smoking Bandit". Everyone is wondering who this person is -- including Peggy, who wants to put an article on him in the newspaper.

184 :09x13 - Gone With the Windstorm

Nancy loses her job at the news station when someone else is hired. She decides to get an exciting news story by capturing shots of the wildfire. Is this a smart move?

---

In the meantime, Bobby is being bullied by a boy who enjoys jumping out at him. When Hank tries to speak with the boy's father, he finds that he is also a victim of his son.

185 :09x14 - Bobby On Track

Bobby surprisingly gets on to the track team. Hank is proud, but then he finds out that Bobby is a decoy that the coach is using to motivate other runners. This is where Hank starts pushing Bobby to his limits.

186 :09x15 - It Ain't Over Till The Fat Neighbor Sings

Bill realizes that he is good for nothing. He decides to join a chorus group in order to make something of his life. When the other guys notice he is missing, they go looking for him.

---

In the meantime, Peggy and Bobby are undergoing a tournament for ping-pong.

187 :10x01 - Hank's On Board

When Hank discovers that Dale and Boomhauer take yearly vacations together, he invites his family and Bill along for a weekend at the beach. During the trip, Hank realizes that his friends avoid him because he’s uptight. Peggy advises Hank to throw caution to the wind and have some fun with his buddies. The results leave Hank and the guys overboard.

---

In the meantime, Bobby uses their grocery money to buy a metal detector. He and Peggy search the beach from some treasure, but are blocked by the locals who do this activity on a regular basis.

188 :10x02 - Bystand Me

Peggy's new job at the newspaper is to write about household hints. The problem is, she doesn't know any. She decides to find someone that does.

189 :10x03 - Bill's House

Bill becomes lonely after caring for the Hill family while they had the flu, so he decides to make his home open to more people.

190 :10x04 - Harlottown

When Hank and Peggy try to clean up an Arlen historical landmark, they find out that Arlen was founded by harlots and was a place of ill-repute. New city manager Vance Gilbert decides to use the city’s rediscovered history and turn the town into a tourist trap for the adult porn industry. Frustrated by the changes, Hank decides to move the family – that is, until he is aided by adult actress Candee.

191 :10x05 - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Clown

When Hank can’t handle Bobby’s jokes anymore, he enrolls him in a clown class at the local community college. Clown class turns out to be more than Bobby bargains for when his teacher winds up teaching old-fashioned miming and clown performance. Meanwhile, Hank and the neighbors pick up a kickball game.

192 :10x06 - Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana

When Kahn becomes scared about losing his heritage, he joins Ted Wassanasong's army and gives up his creature comforts. Meanwhile, Kahn convinces Hank and the guys to build him a swimming pool.

193 :10x07 - You Gotta Believe (In Moderation)

When Hank and his softball team, the Zephyrs, engage in a game for charity against the Globetrotters of the softball world, Hank takes it a bit too seriously and winds up in a real game. The Zephyrs lose and the rival softball team heads off with the charity check, and it's up to Hank to get it back.

194 :10x08 - Business Is Picking Up

Bobby, under the influence of another person, decides what career he wants.

195 :10x09 - The Year of Washing Dangerously

When Kahn buys the local carwash and runs the business into the ground, Buck Strickland becomes his business partner and gets Hank to join the carwash team. Hank turns the business around and teaches Kahn a thing or two about hard work. Meanwhile, Peggy becomes convinced that Nancy is screening her calls.

196 :10x10 - Hank Fixes Everything

When Strickland embarks on a propane price war, he hires the Teutul guys to help sales at the Propane Expo. Unfortunately, the Teutuls cause a riot at the Expo. It's up to Hank to save Strickland Propane.

197 :10x11 - Church Hopping

When Reverend Stroup gives the Smith family the Hills' pew at the Arlen First Methodist church, Hank and the family begin church shopping. The Arlen Megachurch tries to woo the Hills with a coffee bar, offering Peggy a job and Hank a church football field. Meanwhile, Lucky takes the opportunity to introduce Hank to his unique kind of spirituality.

198 :10x12 - 24 Hour Propane People

When Strickland gets banned from his favorite strip club, he refocuses on making Strickland Propane a "fun" place to work. Strickland makes his employees dress in costumes, have sleepovers in the office and use catch phrases. It's up to Hank to get Strickland back to his true love. Meanwhile, Peggy discovers the power of the press pass.

199 :10x13 - The Texas Panhandler

When Bobby gets a job to earn money for trendy jeans, he meets a young, urban freeloader, Derek, and realizes there might be an easier way. Bobby and Joseph toss the job and join Derek and his friends panhandling outside hip stores.

200 :10x14 - Hank's Bully

When the Hills get some liberal-minded neighbors, Hank finds himself terrorized by their uncontrollable son Caleb. Lila and Jim have raised their son without boundaries and now Caleb is a force in the neighborhood. It's up to Hank and Bobby to put the neighborhood bully in his place.

201 :10x15 - Edu-macating Lucky

When Lucky asks Peggy to tutor him for the General Equivalency Diploma, Peggy accepts, hoping to prod Lucky to take a job far away from Luanne. During the course of their lessons, Lucky declares that his intention is to get his G.E.D. and propose to Luanne. Peggy takes matters into her own hands and intentionally teaches him incorrect material, causing Lucky to fail and forgo his proposal - that is, until Luanne announces that she has a "bun in the oven."

202 :11x01 - The Peggy Horror Picture Show

Peggy begins to feel unfeminine about herself. She meets someone named Carolyn who she thinks can help her, but is she to be trusted with Peggy's femininity?

203 :11x02 - Serpunt

Bobby's pet snake goes into the toilet. Hank contacts Animal Control to get it out, but Animal Control makes things go out of hand and makes the problem even worse, bringing panic throughout the city. The problem can be fixed by one person... Dale?

204 :11x03 - Blood and Sauce

Bill wants to know who else is left in his family to carry on the Dauterive name. He finds that only one of his cousins and he are left in his family. Bill decides to make use of his name by selling his special barbecue sauce. But things get ugly when Gilbert and Bill get into an argument over this.

205 :11x04 - Luanne Gets Lucky

When Lucky ditches Luanne to go stumping with Hank and the gang, Luanne accepts an invitation to attend Arlen High School's Senior Prom. Jealous of Luanne's prom experience, Lucky sends Mud Dobber and Elvin to bully Luanne's 15-year-old date. However, despite the guys' antics, Lucky realizes that he'd rather be with Luanne than hunting for wood.

206 :11x05 - Hank Gets Dusted

When Cotton decides to give Hanks beloved Cadillac to Cousin Dusty, none other than Dusty Hill from ZZ Top, Hank is devastated. But things go from bad to worse when Dusty arrives at Hanks house with a camera crew from his new reality show. With Hank already pushed to his limits, his patience is put to the ultimate test as Dusty and his band play practical jokes for the camera.

207 :11x06 - Glen Peggy Glen Ross

Peggy gets a job as a real estate agent after she is fired from her previous job.

208 :11x07 - The Passion of the Dauterive

When Bill survives the roof caving in over his bed, he takes it as a sign from God and immerses himself in church activities. Hank soon discovers that Bill's religious zeal may be due to a secret affair with Reverend Stroup. But when Reverend Stroup quits the church and moves in with Bill, an overwhelmed Bill tries to break up with her.

209 :11x08 - Grand Theft Arlen

Hank is distraught to learn that Bobby may not pass the Presidential Fitness Test, so he decides to work with him in order to ensure that he gets into shape. However, when Hank inadvertently helps a group of college students develop a video game that features him as the main character, he becomes addicted to the game and starts to lose track of what’s really important.

210 :11x09 - Peggy's Gone to Pots

When Peggy puts her eye on selling real estate in the exclusive Arlen Heights, she befriends Heights residents Cindy and Ted in an effort to utilize their social circle for work. Cindy embraces the new friendship and scams Peggy into becoming the new "Cozy Kitchen" representative. With boxes of products to sell, Peggy quickly learns that Arlen Heights isn't as perfect and prestigious as it seems. Meanwhile, Dale, who has been using the identity of Rusty Shackelford, is surprised by a visit from the real Rusty

211 :11x10 - Hair Today, Gone Today

Waiting for aliens on the vernal equinox, Dale believes he has traveled back in time with a time traveler and thinks the world will end if he runs into his former self. Unaware that the “time traveler” is actually Kahn’s nephew, Dale proceeds to act like he needs to avoid his former self to prevent the end of the world. As his antics become increasingly erratic to avoid his former self, Nancy struggles with John Redcorn’s advances. Nancy’s hair begins to fall out and she consults her doctor who puts her on several pills including Xanex thinking that stress is causing her hair loss. When the pills don’t work, Nancy visits her mother to see if heredity is to blame. Nancy learns that she is a lot like her mother and her hair is falling out due to the stress of ending her affair with John Redcorn. All she has to do to get her hair back is reunite with Redcorn.

212 :11x11 - Bill, Bulk, and the Body Buddies

Bill has recently learned that he will have to pass an army drill in order to continue his work as a military barber. In hopes of getting into shape, he forsakes Hank’s advice and joins up with a group of weight-lifting experts, though the lifestyle choice soon proves to have its fair share of consequences.

213 :11x12 - Lucky's Wedding Suit

As the Hills plan for Luanne and Lucky’s lavish wedding, Hank tries to knock some sense into everyone. Hank convinces Dale to hire Lucky and help with all the bed-bug spraying that the town needs. While horsing around at Dale’s house, Lucky falls and gets hurt and sues Dale for negligence. When the lawyer discovers the penniless black hole that is Dale, he manages to connect Hank and Strickland to the law suit.

214 :12x01 - Suite Smells of Excess

Hank, Bill, Boomhauer and Dale take Bobby to a Texas vs. Nebraska college football game to measure Bobby's new love for the sport. When Bobby ventures from the nosebleed section to a VIP suite belonging to retired Nebraska quarterback Jake Middleton, Hank goes to bring Bobby back but gets mesmerized by the complimentary food and drinks. Hank and the boys stir up some trouble when Nebraska's assistant phones the box for a play from Middleton and Hank pretends to be Jake and calls a play that will be make it or break it for Texas.

215 :12x02 - Bobby Rae

When Bobby protests against soda machines in the school, his determination attracts the attention of his socially conscious classmate Olivia. He continues his fight in hopes of getting a date with her. The "protest" leads to the machines being removed from campu,s which sends the teachers into a panic because they are using the funds to pay for their "retreat". The teachers devise a new plan to raise money by placing electronic news tickers with advertising for energy bars around the school, which further outrages Olivia, who encourages Bobby to have them removed. In response, Bobby arranges a school walkout but struggles to maintain the crowd, and he looks to Hank for help.

216 :12x03 - The Powder Puff Boys

Bobby and Joseph become Powder Puff Boys for the school's annual gender-reversal game, in which the girls play football and the guys dress as cheerleaders to support them. But the game becomes a hot-button issue for the PTA.

217 :12x04 - Four Wave Intersection

Arlen has a heat wave, and Hank gets season passes at the local water park for Bobby, Joseph and Connie. But trouble ensues when the kids are bullied by surfers at the wave pool.

218 :12x05 - Death Picks Cotton

Hank, Luanne, Bobby and Lucky attend a dinner at a performance restaurant with Cotton, who goes crazy. A fight with the chef and a horrible accident, leaves Cotton clinging to life in a hospital.

219 :12x06 - Raise the Steaks

Hank joins a hippie co-op which sells quality organic foods having been disgusted with the quality of the local supermarket steaks.

220 :12x07 - Tears of an Inflatable Clown

Bobby is put in charge of the school carnival after making the suggestion to the student council that they run one this year. But all his plans may be squashed when a stern "diversity expert" comes to school.

221 :12x08 - The Minh Who Knew Too Much

Mihn learns skeet shooting after joining the Arlen Gun Club and hopes her skill will make herself and Kahn members of the exclusive country club. Meanwhile, The Hills try to figure who has been throwing their trash in Hank's cans.

222 :12x09 - Dream Weaver

Dale and Hank go on a vocational vacation to learn basket weaving after Nancy urges Dale to get a job that would create more family income.

223 :12x10 - Doggone Crazy

Ladybird, the Hill's family dog, is put on a list of vicious dogs after going on a rampage, breaking things around the home and even biting Hank's hand. Their veterinarian makes a suggestion that Hank should take Ladybird to see a spiritualist.

224 :12x11 - Trans-Fascism

Buck Strickland starts a lunch truck which sells foods recently banned by the Arlen city council, including trans fats, raw oysters and rare burgers.

225 :12x12 - Three Men and a Bastard

A blind date with Charlene, an attractive single mother has Bill in love. But Dale feels weary of Kate, Charlene's meddling daughter.

226 :12x13 - The Accidental Terrorist

Hank pays the sticker price when Peggy asks for a new convertible, as he has always done with all his cars. But when Peggy informs him that he has been overpaying all these decades, Hank makes a plan to exact his revenge.

227 :12x14 - Lady and Gentrification

Peggy's hipster real estate clients begin taking over the Mexican area where Enrique resides after Hank consents to speak at the quinceañeara of Enrique's daughter.

228 :12x15 - Behind Closed Doors

An emergency meeting is held when a child is reported as missing in Arlen. During the meeting, a closed doors session between a relationship expert and Peggy has her embarrassed by questioning her parenting skills, causing her to keep a closer watch on Bobby and Hank.

229 :12x16 - Pour Some Sugar on Kahn

Kahn escapes to a karaoke bar when Mihn's father, the General, comes for a visit and gives him a hard time. While there, Kahn discovers a unknown talent. Meanwhile, Peggy and Bobby seek bragging rights in an escalating wager war.

230 :12x17 - Six Characters in Search of a House

Realtor Peggy hopes to sell a beautiful home, but the family living there is less than attractive. She plans on bringing in a "Hollywood family" as a replacement so she can make the house marketable, but is made a shocking offer instead.

231 :12x18 - The Courtship of Joseph's Father

Joseph is recruited by a prestigious private school after becoming the star quarterback of the Tom Landry Middle school football team. Although Joseph doesn't want to attend the school, Dale is tempted by the money he is offered to switch teams.

232 :12x19 - Strangeness on a Train

In hopes of jazzing up her usually dull birthday celebrations, Peggy schedules a murder mystery party aboard a train for this year. But when the event is ruined by bad food and a lackluster performance of the play, Hank and Peggy create some drama of their own.

233 :12x20 - Cops and Roberts

Bobby is assigned to work with the school's police officer after being accused of throwing a can of soda at the officer. Meanwhile, Hank is chased by a man with a baseball bat after trying to return the the wallet of the man in which he believed had stolen his own wallet.

234 :12x21 - It Came from the Garage

Dale, Bill and Boomhauer feel rejected after Hank asks for Bobby's assistance in a boat building competition in hopes of some father and son bonding time. But Bobby is left alone to build the craft when Hank becomes spooked by the bats which roam around the garage.

235 :12x22 - Life: A Loser's Manual

Luanne's father/Peggy's brother Hoyt, has been released from prison and with nowhere to go, heads to Arlen to receive guidance and money from his daughter and sister. When Peggy denies him, he resorts to robbing a restaurant. Meanwhile, Luanne's husband Lucky, asks Hank's advice in how to be a better father.

236 :13x01 - Dia-bill-ic Shock

The 13th season premiere finds Bill discovering he has diabetes due to his love of sweets, and must make lifestyle changes.

237 :13x02 - Earthy Girls are Easy

A run of "eco-fever" erupts in Arlen when Hank makes the suggestion that the company goes green after experiencing a scandal at Strickland Propane. Bobby and Joseph receive extra credit in school by planting trees, while Dale gets an idea for a fraudulent carbon offset business.

238 :13x03 - Square-Footed Monster

Kahn's idol, Ted Wassonasong, buys a house within the neighborhood, but has no intention of residing there. He does have plans for the home, but the neighborhood may not like it.

239 :13x04 - Lost in Myspace

When Mr. Strickland decides to put Strickland Propane on My Space, hank has a feeling this is a bad idea. His fears are founded when Donna posts personal videos and information on the site.

240 :13x05 - No Bobby Left Behind

The faculty at Tom Landry Middle School are confused what to do with the "No student left behind" policy after all the students are doing poorly. So Principal Moss make a plan to get by the law, which will affect Bobby.

241 :13x06 - A Bill Full of Dollars

Peggy has finally figured a way they can afford a new flat-screen TV, by investing in companies in which "average American consumer" Bill purchases.

242 :13x07 - Straight as an Arrow

Hank gets into an argument with his new neighbor about how the Order of the Straight Arrow, a local chapter of a boys club, should be run.

243 :13x08 - Lucky See, Monkey Do

Lucky's sister Myrna and her children attend a baby shower in which Peggy is throwing for Luanne. It doesn't take long before Myrna and Peggy clash over how the children will be raised by Luanne, with Peggy wanting the good, old fashioned skills where as Myrna likes the more modern way and by the book.

244 :13x09 - What Happens at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis Stays at the National Propane Convention in Memphis

The Propane Hall of Fame is inducting Buck Strickland this year and he has asked Hank to come with him to make sure he stays out of trouble. This becomes a hard task after Buck meets his illegitimate son while at the event in Memphis.

245 :13x10 - Master of Puppets

When Peggy and Hank's date night runs late, they forget to pick up Bobby at the mall. An angry Bobby uses his parents' guilt over the incident to pit them against one another in a fight for his affection. When Peggy and Hank stop giving him everything he wants and offer him more time with them instead, Bobby fesses up to what his devious strategy has been.

246 :13x11 - Bwah My Nose

Hank and his buddies sulk as the anniversary of their big high school football championship loss approaches. With the winning team mocking them, Hank and the gang ask for a rematch. During a practice session, Hank breaks his nose. He goes to a plastic surgeon to get it fixed, and is extremely pleased with his new nose - so much so that he is afraid to play football and run the risk of damaging it. When Hank realizes his teammates need him for the most important comeback game of their lives, he rethinks his decision.

247 :13x12 - Uncool Customer

Peggy discovers just how uncool she has become when she stops into a store to buy a cassette tape, and starts a quest to find out what is considered "in" now. She becomes friends with Katt Savage, the coolest, most glamorous mom at Bobby's cotillion class. Peggy is introduced to trendy wine bars, as Katt introduces her to all her cool friends and shows her all the latest fashions. Peggy and Bobby will use all she has learned when Bobby is asked by Katt to come to her daughter's coming out party.

248 :13x13 - Nancy Does Dallas

Hank is assigned to keep watch over Dale, when his wife, Nancy, leaves Arlen for Dallas to become a TV news reporter. Dale feels a sense of freedom while Nancy is away. But when his behavior gets out of control, Peggy and Hank beg for Nancy's return.

249 :13x14 - Born Again on the Fourth of July

Bobby is offered an intervention at the church, after Hank becomes upset by his misbehavior. Meanwhile, Hank and his pals challenge a rival neighborhood to a Fourth of July fireworks showdown.

250 :13x15 - Serves Me Right For Giving General George S. Patton The Bathroom Key

Hank is surprised by a package he receives containing the belongings of his late father, including war medals, his uniform and his last wishes on a video tape.

251 :13x16 - Bad News Bill

Bobby signs up for little league and sees his baseball career go through its ups and downs, while Hank and his coach have some friction between them.

252 :13x17 - Manger Baby Einstein

LuAnne uses her manager baby puppets to become a children's entertainer and John Redcorn, an aspiring agent, wants to feature her on a children's DVD. Meanwhile, Dale writes a children's book about a gun and her missing bullet.

253 :13x18 - Uh-Oh Canada

Boomhauer and a Canadian family switch houses for the summer and becomes friends with his new neighbor, Suzette. Meanwhile, the Hill's and their new neighbors do not get along as well.

254 :13x19 - The Boy Can't Help It

Bobby seems to have become quite the ladies man as a number of girls in school are considering him for their homecoming dance date. But he learns that he's being played for a fool after being wined and dined by the girls. Later, Bobby is asked to join the local junior college’s meat examination team after discovering he has a knack for identifying different cuts of meat. His new found gift brings the Hill men closer than ever before.

255 :13x20 - To Sirloin with Love

256 :13x21 - The Honeymooners

Hank gets protective of his mother when he finds out that she's marrying a man she's only known for a few months. However, it becomes clear soon afterwards that it's Tilly herself he needs to keep tabs on.

257 :13x22 - Bill Gathers Moss

Bill decides to get a roommate to bring adventure into his life, but Hank is weary of letting Bill making his own choice and pairs him with Principal Moss who lost his home in a divorce. Unfortunately, the two don't get along and things only get worse when Bill tries to fix it himself.

258 :13x23 - When Joseph Met Lori, and Made Out with Her in the Janitor's Closet

When Joseph is caught making out with a girl, Dale has to come to grips with the fact that his "little man" is becoming simply a man. In his efforts to curb his son's hormones, Dale starts making mistakes that make even him question his own sanity.

259 :13x24 - Just Another Manic Kahn-Day

When Minh leaves Kahn alone, Hank is asked to keep him company. The two surprisingly hit it off, especially when Kahn comes up with an idea for a grand grill for an upcoming Strickland Propane event. However, things become unbalanced when Hank talks Kahn into ignoring a subscription refill, unaware that it's to treat his manic-depression.

Meanwhile, Bobby tries to figure out why an old comedy record of his father's is so funny.