Top Ten "Questions Bernie Madoff Asked Today"
1. Is it OK if I decline a conjugal visit request from my wife?
2. Will someone TIVO "America's Got Talent" for me for the next 149 years?
3. Did I mention that it was an April fool's prank that just got out of control?
4. I'd like the truffle-crusted halibut
5. Will I get special treatment if I help the guards hide money from the IRS?
6. What mixes better in a toilet, Sangria or Daiquiri's?
7. Because of my business dealings with the Latin Kings, can you keep me away from the Crips?
8. Which way to the penthouse cell?
9. Who do I have to swindle to get a freshly pressed jumpsuit?
10. Has it been 150 years yet?