Nurse Kay Maher: He's allergic to strawberries.
Parker: That's ironic.
Nate: Why?
Parker: Because he's sweet.

Nurse Kay Maher: Sorry. It's just really hard to trust people right now. You know?
Parker: That's okay. We don't trust you either.
Nate: No, she didn't...
Nurse Kay Maher: Thank you for your time.
Parker: That went super.
Nate: God... where is Sophie?

Alec: Hey. This look like an ordinary cell phone, right? It's not, man. It's a metal detector. See, it uses, pulse-induction technology that sends out a current that generates a magnetic field, and then… are you even listening?
Eliot: Yeah.
Alec: Well, what did I say?
Eliot: You were explaining how you're still a virgin.

Nate: Now, there are three general exceptions for house arrest. There's personal safety, death of a relative, and family events.
Eliot: Personal safety. We could burn the apartment down.
Parker: Ooh! Ooh!

Widmark Fowler: I want someone to like me. Does that get easier when you're a grown-up?
Sophie: Um, no, I don't think it does.
Widmark Fowler: You're nice. But weird.

Agent McSweeten: Can you imagine having her for a partner? What?
Agent Taggert: You want to see other partners.
Agent McSweeten: I didn't say that.
Agent Taggert: Yeah, fine, whatever.

Nate: Could you just please try to maybe not make this so difficult?
Sophie: I can't take you seriously with that dead cat on your head.

Parker: Door alarm's got a Takashita 500 with redundant infrared. Window's easier.
Alec: The window? The window that's 20 stories up?
Parker: Like I said--easier.

Nate: Well, you know, this is interesting. This must be a-a first. I mean, it's the only time I can remember that the con depended solely on you telling the truth. How'd it feel?
Sophie: Eh, good. Don't get used to it.
Nate: Oh, no. No.
Sophie: I start telling the truth all day... I stop being Sophie Devereaux.
Nate: Maybe that's, uh... a good thing.
Sophie: Uh-nuh.