Sophie: Thank you so much for coming to my play last night.
Parker: Last night was awesome.
Sophie: Thanks, Parker.
Parker: Yeah, it was like a horror movie. "Attention must be paid!"

Alec: How 'bout that, baby! You--you see me?
Eliot: He was injured.
Alec: Well, somebody got to fight the injured. Shoot, that's my niche.

Nate: Publicists are like priests. You got to tell them all your secrets.

(to Nate)
Eliot: So you dropped out of priest school to become a... an insurance cop? And now you're the leader of a band of thieves. Nice.
Alec: You... you're a Catholic who wants to fake a miracle. I'm pretty sure that puts us in mortal-sin territory.
Eliot: So what... so now you're religious, too?
Alec: No, I'm not denominational. It's just, I never do anything my Nana said "don't do."

Alec: Long as I don't have to do anything immoral.
Nate: No not at all. I just need you to figure out how to, you know... fake a miracle.
Alec: We're all going to Hell.

Nate: Okay, Hardison, could you just make the statue cry without melting St. Nick's head?
Parker: Don't melt Santa.
Eliot & Alec: It's not Santa!

Nate: I am trying to save your damn church.
Father Paul: Save my church? You faked a miracle! And my parishioners, my flock, my church--they--they believed in that miracle. And now you are ripping out that faith and replacing it with a lie. Maybe, maybe I'm not here to save this church, Nate. Maybe I need to lose this church to save you.