Episode Quotes
Alec: Don't get mad, but I may have spilled Slushie in your car.
Eliot: That's like 44 ounces, Hardison.
Alec: It's not that much.
Eliot: The lid is floating in the damn floorboard, man.
Elliot: Nice job, blowing out the engine block.
Alec: I was aiming for his leg
Jack Hurley: I'm Jack, I'm an alcoholic.
Sophie: Thanks, Jack.
Jack Hurley: Also nicotine--the patches, not the cigarettes.
Sophie: Okay.
Jack Hurley: Internet porn. Non-Internet... well, porn, basically. Also compulsive gambling, compulsive lying, compulsive eating. tacos, I've got a big taco problem. I think it all stems from my stint in the CIA and Beirut. Not the tacos, the drinking part.
Alec: Okay, pressure, pressure... okay, um, Eliot, go--go get a bag of bricks, right? Bricks, and you put it on the seat the same time I roll off.
Eliot: That only works in the movies.
Alec: Bag of bricks is a good, sound plan.
Alec: It's--it's, uh, a computer bomb. I--I know computers. Computer bomb. We--we got to reboot the system. Yeah.
Eliot: You want me to kick it?
Alec: God, I'm gonna die.
(after defusing a bomb)
Eliot: Where are you going? We gotta search the car.
Alec: I'm gonna go and freshen up a little bit. Maybe cry a little.
(pretending to be a homosexual)
Alec: I am with him. See, he thinks the flirting, it makes me jealous, but it doesn't. You know, but if were like Brad Pitt, Denzel or somebody, oh girl, it would be on, seriously.
Nate: Listen, I don't think I need to apologize for drinking. I need to apologize maybe for not drinking. Maybe I'm a bigger bastard sober than I am drunk. Huh?
Marcy: If this is you sober, hell yeah.
Eliot: You ever notice how all bad guys know at least one stripper?
Alec: You know at least a hundred so what does that make you?
Eliot: Hey, I'm a bad guy
Nate: Listen, the guy, okay, he's an addict. You know--he's--he knows how to manipulate people. My father was an addict. My grandfather was an addict. I know how these people operate.
Sophie: I'm just going to let you think about that for a minute.
Alec: Woah, woah. I haven't slept in three days. I had a showdown with two different gangs, who, now, by the way, know my face. I sat on a bomb. And all this could've been avoided had you gave the man a taco?
Cultural References
Parker: It's like Billy from The Family Circus if Billy was a drunken sex fiend.
The Family Circus is a syndicated cartoon strip by Bil Keane. Billy is the oldest of the four children, and often wanders around the neighborhood while the cartoonist indicates his path with a thick black line.
Nate and Parker use the aliases of Tom Baker and Rose, references to Doctor Who. Tom Baker played the fourth Doctor and Rose was the name of the ninth and tenth Doctor's companion, Rose Tyler.
Hurley and Kwon have the same names, and the same general appearance, as Hurley and Kwon on Lost.