Sophie: I'm sorry; I seem to remember a certain job with horses where I backed your play.
Eliot: I don't care. You don't con your crew.

Nate: Grifter, hitter, hacker, thief. You were all trying to solve your version of the crime instead of just trying to...solve the crime. There's a reason we work together.

Eliot: She probably just really wants some hot coffee.
Nate: Shut up!
Eliot: It's not like a date.
Nate: Are you kidding me? You're fixing your hair?
Eliot: Because I'm playing the Professor Sinclair dude!

(the team listens in as Maggie and Eliot date)
Maggie Collins: Listen... I want to thank you. I haven't dated a lot since my marriage broke up.
Eliot: I'm sorry to hear that.
Maggie Collins: No, don't be. He was obsessive, perfectionist, controlling.
Nate: Organized! She used to say I was organized. And punctual.
Alec: Uh-huh.
Eliot: He must have had some good qualities.
Maggie Collins: No, not even in bed.
Parker: Ohhh!
Maggie Collins: Every night was prom night. You know what I mean? But worst of all... he completely forgot that I gave him that same button camera for Christmas three years ago.

Nate: I didn't want you to hate me, Maggie.
Maggie Collins: Why would I hate you?
Nate: I do. If I had ever seen you look at me the way I looked at myself in the mirror, I would've blown my damn brains out.

Nate: And that--that's the plan.
Maggie Collins: You actually expect this to work?
Nate: Um...
Alec: No, no, you're supposed to say, "Wow, that's just crazy enough to work."
Sophie: Incredibly, chance does seem to bend itself to his bizarre machinations.
Parker: (whispering) That's his superpower.

Maggie Collins: You have to convince the museum director, Dr. Darien Lloyd, to pull it from the display.
Nate: Okay.
Maggie Collins: Nate?
Nate: Hmm?
Maggie Collins: You just can't make somebody do what you want them to do.
Eliot: Ohh.
Alec: Uh, that's--that's what we do. I mean...
Parker: You're adorable.

Alec: Eliot, what does that say?
Eliot: It says "dead."
Alec: D-E-D dead, baby.
Nate/Eliot: D-E-A-D.
Alec: I know how to... I was throwing a little style on it, just a little bit, a little style. I know how to spell "dead," damn it. I can steal a bank, I can spell "dead."

Mr. Geary: We're scanning every guest that comes into the museum.
Jim Sterling: Eliot Spencer.
Mr. Geary: Eliot Spencer, wanted in five countries, including Myanmar, which is offering a half-million-dollar bounty on his head.
Jim Sterling: Bringing Spencer to justice and getting paid for it? It's icing on the cake. Parker.
Mr. Geary: Parker--wanted in nine countries, including Brazil and Yemen.
Jim Sterling: Tough choice, I'll have to flip a coin. How about Sophie Devereaux?
Mr. Geary: England, France, Spain, Luxembourg--Europe, basically.
Jim Sterling: France. Wonderful shopping... horrifying prisons. Alec Hardison.
Mr. Geary: Well, he better not show his face in Iceland.
Jim Sterling: Perfect. I'll drop him off on my way to France.
Mr. Geary: Nathan Ford.
Jim Sterling: Oh, I have something special planned for him.

Jim Sterling: You know, your entire plan depended on me being a self-serving, utter bastard.
Nate: Hmm. Yeah, that's a stretch.