Pete: Boy, you don't know how glad I am to see you.
MacGyver: Gee, thanks. You know how much I love conventions.

MacGyver: Who made this mess?
Pete: Why? Is it terrible? (MacGyver holds up mess of cables) Well, I tried to fix it myself. I was desperate.

Pete: You believe that? She can't be more than 16.
MacGyver: Yeah. Going on 40.

Jennifer Reiner: Look, I'm just doing this for my boyfriend.
MacGyver: Yeah, right.
Jennifer Reiner: He needs the money to get new mags for his car.
MacGyver: It sounds like he loves his car.
Jennifer Reiner: He loves me. Sometimes you love somebody, you do things you wouldn't normally do.
MacGyver: That's not a boyfriend, that's a pimp.

Crystal: I know about people who live on houseboats. They like to drift around.

Bag Lady: Back off, or I mace the face!
MacGyver: That's not mace. That's hairspray.
Bag Lady: Whatever.

MacGyver: How you fixed for cash?
Bag Lady: Fine. I'm the heir to the Rockefeller fortune.
MacGyver: Ah, well, then I guess you wouldn't be interested in an extra... $20?
Bag Lady: Well...
MacGyver: In case the inheritance doesn't come in right away.

MacGyverisms:
* Discarded cable attached to a rear car bumper and a garbage bin, so when the car pulls out the bin slams into it