MacGyver: Wait a minute! You can't just bury someone. There are laws. You got to have a death certificate, a burial permit, all kinds of stuff.
Faith Lacey: Oh, poop. Lighten up, MacGyver.

Hope Lacey: (to the thug tying her up) Ow, shame on you. What would your mother say?
Hope Lacey: What mother? He's the kind of thing you find under a rock.

Faith Lacey: You mean we're trapped?
MacGyver: Well, in the military, they call it "taking a defensive position."
Hope Lacey: Well, I like that much better.

Hope Lacey: You are something else, Mr. MacGyver.
Faith Lacey: Oh, I wish I were thirty years younger.

Gorman: If you cooperate, I promise you nobody gets hurt.
Hope Lacey: Forget it, sucker! You mugs will have to come in and get us. Isn't this exciting?
MacGyver: Oh yeah.

MacGyver: But I would like to know why you didn't tell me about the money.
Faith Lacey: Well, we thought you were such a goodie two-shoes, maybe you'd make us give Leo's money back.

MacGyverisms:
* A coat rack with the top removed, turned upside down with one pair of legs removed, to function as a crutch
* An old cart as a wheelchair
* Metal rods placed into the carpeting strip on a flight of stairs, and the bottom of the strip wrapped around a mop handle. Pulling on the mop handle trips the person coming down the stairs.
* Cayenne pepper mixed into a mop head and shoved into an opponent's face to blind them
* A vacuum cleaner set on "expel" with one end thrust into a pot of preserves to spray a driver with the other end and blind him