(To Peg)
Al: A fat woman godzillas into the shoe store today and asked for something to wear for a walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggested a sandwich-sign saying "Don't shoot, from the front I look human." Now you think a good natured, jolly lady like that could take some good humored teasing, but what does she do? That cow goes and complains to the owner who then gives her a gift certificate for $200 worth of free shoes. Now you know whose paycheck that's going to come out of?

(To Peg)
Al: You wouldn't know this but life is hard for those who don't have a couch stuck to their butts.

The Host: Good job, Mr. Bundy. To have consumed that much sports knowledge, I am going to assume you have no life.
Al: None whatsoever!

The Host: According to our researchers, you scored extremely low in personality.
Al: How low?
The Host: Let me put it to you this way: Its somewhere between Joe Piscopo and the fat kid who played on Head of the Class