The episode begins with Molly making breakfast for Mike. She serves him fish for breakfast and he isn’t too pleased. She in turn tells him how having fish can help boost chances of pregnancy and as a supporting husband he should have it too. “Upping our protein is good for both of us and our baby” she adds. She also starves him of his coffee and serves him herbal tea. He persists that he needs his daily cup of coffee, but Molly argues that caffeine can affect the potency and “viscosity of male sperm”. She herself doesn’t like eating fish or having the herbal tea but mentions how all their sacrifices will be worth it, if they can have a healthy baby.
Mike buys into that argument of hers. Mike later arrives at Carl’s to pick him up and Nana tells him about the women Carl is bringing home. Each one is nastier than the last, she tells Mike. She comments on how Carl has stopped caring about the women he dates, since the time he broke up with Christina. Mike feels Carl will eventually get tired of the whole thing and settle down. During patrolling Carl tells Mike how this new Russian chick that he is dating kept him up all night. Mike sees Carl having coffee and asks Carl to “slip the lid off” so he can smell it, even if he can’t have it. He tells Carl why Molly made him give up his coffee. He then sees that Carl has biscotti to accompany his coffee.
He asks Carl to dip in the biscotti slowly into the coffee and then eat it, so he can witness Carl enjoying the biscotti. Carl is a bit disturbed by Mike’s fetish. At home, Molly sees Joyce having a glass of wine, but tries to resist it and stick to her herbal tea. Victoria brings home some Chinese food, but Molly decides to not have that, as it isn’t healthy. Vince comes downstairs and they all gorge on some delicious Chinese food, while Molly sips on her herbal tea, trying her best to steel her resolve. Every moment apparently is pure torture for her. Later in bed, Mike and Molly tell each other how they are feeling better because of eating healthy. But, it seems like the both are lying to each other and are craving junk food. The two begin discussing about junk food, very fondly.
Mike can take it no more and jumps out of bed yelling “I can’t do this”. Mike feels they should stop “this insanity”. “Why don’t we order pizza and adopt?” Mike suggests. Molly immediately agrees and comments on how; there are a lot of children “out there”, who need adopting. But, she again steels her resolve and says they must resist their urges. She asks Mike to go downstairs and get an apple, so they can share it. Mike goes downstairs and hears the doorbell ring. Carl is at the door. Turns out, he has been kicked out by Nana and has no place to sleep. Mike tells him that he can “crash on the couch tonight”. But, it turns out Carl isn’t alone and has gotten a girl along. Later, Mike brings Molly the apple and also tells her about Carl and the girl he has brought along.
Molly asks Mike to tell Carl to go to a hotel. Mike says Carl is his best friend so he can’t turn him away. “I am really not comfortable with this” Molly says. Carl on his part doesn’t feel it’s a big deal. Next day, Carl thanks Mike for letting him crash at his place. “Why don’t you just go to your grandma’s and apologize” Mike says. Carl feels he has nothing to apologize for. Mike makes it clear to Carl that he can’t crash at his place anymore. In the night, Carl tries to use his keys to enter his grandma’s house but discovers that she has changed the locks. He knocks on the door and asks her to let him in. She doesn’t want to let him in, but he begs her saying he has no other place to “go tonight”. She reluctantly lets him in, but makes it clear that he can’t get a girl home.
“It’s time to get your own place and stand on your own two feet” she tells Carl. In fact she has packed up all his stuff, so he is good to go. Carl can’t believe he is being kicked out and tries to reason with her. She tells him he is a grown man, and its time he stood up and took responsibility. “I am not kicking you out of my life, I am just throwing you out of my house” she tells him. Carl understands where his grandma is coming from and argues no further. Carl then crashes with Mike and Molly, who aren’t too happy with his presence but play along. The episode ends at this point.