Mike the Tease - Recap

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The episode begins with Molly finding out from her doc that her hormone levels are really good and hence her chances of having a baby are really good. Mike is surprised Molly went to the doctor and asks if everything is fine. She says she simply wanted to know how good her chances are of having a baby. Vince has gotten a part time job selling vacuum cleaners and tries to sell Mike and Molly one. Vince begins giving them a demo and Molly uses this opportunity to get Vince to vacuum the living room. Next day, Carl and Mike discuss and how Molly wants him to get checked to see how good his sperms is.

Carl says cell phones cause impotency; he then begins mentioning how a microwave oven too causes impotency and is therefore dangerous. Carl feels Mike should get his “sperm tested”, to see how potent he is. Mike isn’t too comfortable with the idea of sitting in a doctor’s office with a cup in his hand, to collect his sperm. Carl says it’s not such a bad thing and reveals he has actually donated sperm. Basically he did it because he earned some good money out of it. Samuel didn’t know you could get paid for donating sperm and says “he is sitting on a gold mine”. “And to think how much money has already slipped through my fingers” he adds.

At home, Joyce tells Molly she isn’t probably getting pregnant because of Mike. “He sits in front of that microwave like it’s a television” Joyce says, blaming the microwave for Mike’s sperms not doing the job. “There is nothing wrong with me or Mike, it’s just taking a little longer than we expected” Molly counters. Vince returns home depressed. Turns out, he isn’t having too much luck as a vacuum cleaner salesman. Later, Molly finds Mike working out. He says he read somewhere that working out decreases stress and increases sperm production. Turns out, he has been reading male fertility books to gain some insight. “It was very informative. I didn’t realize how important sperm is to the reproductive process” he says.

Mike then tells Molly fun facts about sperms. Mike says sperms are like “little athletes, you gotta feed them right and keep them fit, so they are ready for the big game”. Mike says he has also read that abstaining from sex for a couple of days increases sperm count and increases the chances of fertilization. Later, Mike sees Vince sitting in the living room by himself. Vince tells him what a hard time he is having as a vacuum cleaner salesman. Turns out, he hasn’t made a single sale yet. Mike points out to Vince that he can’t put the whole blame on people not wanting a vacuum cleaner and says Vince isn’t exactly a “people person”.

Vince doesn’t believe him and feels everyone loves him. He in turn taunts Mike saying his sperms aren’t fertile enough. Next day, Mike pays his mother a visit. He asks Peggy if she and his dad had any problems conceiving him. She says it took a while and reveals that it was thanks to his father’s sperms. She says they did not have another kid because of this very reason. She reveals that she was ready to leave his father, but just in the nick of time she got pregnant. Mike is worried to hear this and asks her if she would have actually left him if she hadn’t gotten pregnant.

She says she did not want to be deprived of motherhood and hence would have found someone else to impregnate her, if his father couldn’t. Mike is really worried to hear his mother say all this. Later, Mike visits the doctor and brings along Carl for company. Carl hands him an envelope filled with porn magazines, to help him on his way. Carl also gives him some advice. He basically tells Mike to not to get stressed out when he is inside. He says stress can be a huge factor for a man to not be able to perform. Mike admits he is worried that he might not be able to get Molly pregnant. Carl tells him to calm down and concentrate on the task at hand.

Mike can’t stop worrying and says he is afraid Molly might leave him, if they can’t have a kid. Carl gives Mike a pep talk and he is all pumped up to go in and do his thing. Peggy has a talk with Molly in the meantime and says Mike is worried she will dump him if he can’t give her a baby. Molly is outraged on hearing this and asks “who told him that?” Peggy lies that she doesn’t know. Peggy then begins giving her advice on what sexual positions would be good for her, to get pregnant. Molly isn’t at all comfortable with Peggy telling her all this.

Molly calls Mike and tells him she will always love him and be with him, whether they have a baby or not. She says she doesn’t just want to have a baby; she wants to have it with him. They then indulge in some phone sex, so he can get the job done and collect his sperm in a bottle, for the test. Later at home, Mike gets the good news from his doctor that his sperms are absolutely healthy. The two, then rush upstairs to have sex. The are interrupted by Vince trying to sell them a vacuum. She closes the door and the episode ends at this point.