Regrets Only - Recap

The scene opens with Claire and Phil waking up after a big fight and Phil has no clue what set Claire off to begin with. Luke goes into the kitchen, which is torn apart, and asks what happened. Phil tells that a raccoon got in and Claire hit it with a fire extinguisher. At Jay’s, he tells that every time he buys Gloria a present, he shouldn’t have to suffer from it. Gloria is enjoying the new present. It is a karaoke machine and she is horrible at it. But, Jay won’t ever tell that she is a bad singer. Meanwhile, Cam asks for Mitchell help to set up for tonight. Mitchell asks what is going on and Cam throws a fit that Mitchell never listens to him. Mitchell tells that he is messing with him and tells everything that Cam told him from before about the benefit and how Cam wants to outshine.

At Claire and Phil’s, Jay is over there looking over the damages and asks what happened. They are not clear in their story and Jay tells them to work on it. Hailey comes in and tells that she made another $57 in tips. Claire tells that is great and adds $57 to her potential car. Jay tells that he is not going to be able to fix the microwave. Claire tells that she needs a new one and asks Phil to go with her. He doesn’t want to because of a thing that Claire does at the mall all the time. Gloria comes in and tells that Jay was going to do something for her and Phil tells that he is actually going to run out and get his hair cut. Jay tells that he will go with Claire to the mall and Phil can get his hair cut by Gloria. Phil thinks that will work.

In the car, Mitchell and Cam are talking and Cam tells that no one has RSVP’d to Andrew’s event which means they are going to have a full house. Mitchell realizes that Lily has one of Cam’s invitations that he was supposed to mail out to people and quickly hides it from Cam. At the house, Mitchell starts to call their friends up and tells Cam that he is in the shower. In the living room, Luke is helping Cam with organizing and the catering company arrives with the food. Andrew comes over and surveys the event to be. He tells that he doubts that Cam’s event is going to be as good as his is always. Meanwhile, Phil is getting his hair cut by Gloria who has her breasts in his face and he is trying not to look. Gloria picks up that Phil is upset and asks if Claire and him got into a big fight. She understands why Phil didn’t want to go to the mall and Phil tells that it is because of a habit that Claire has when she goes to the mall. Meanwhile at the mall, Claire is getting a massage and is very loud with the moaning and the groaning.

At the house, Manny tells that it is impressive on how much money Hailey is making and tells that she has around $500 already. Alex is not impressed and Manny tells that he stopped by the restaurant and she wasn’t working. Alex realizes that Hailey is flashing the same money that Jay gave her for her birthday. She asks Phil if they can go out to eat at Hailey’s restaurant where she is working. Phil agrees and Hailey texts her. Hailey is walking around the mall with her friends when she gets the text. She also hears and sees Claire at the mall too getting a massage. Jay tells that she is done and tells that she needs to talk about the fight with Phil. At the house, Phil retells what happened and tells that she just snapped. Claire tells that she stormed off, but didn’t get very far because her robe ripped in the door and Phil tells that he came home and told she is forced to go through the doggie door. However, Phil is ready thinking that it is a raccoon. He sprays Claire with the fire extinguisher and in turn, she sprays him and causes him to lose balance and tear off the microwave door.

Back with Gloria and Phil and Gloria asks what happened at the beginning. He tells that he walked in and told her that Debbie called and Phil shows the message he left and it is a tiny piece of paper. Gloria tells that if he left her a message on a tiny piece of paper, she’d kill him. However, that is not when Claire started yelling. He tells Claire that he talked to the insurance that “wasn’t her fault”. Gloria tells that Phil did the quotes, but he tells that is not when she started yelling. He tells that his friend turned him on to Wedge Salad and tells that his old girlfriend was there too, but that isn’t when she started yelling. He tells that she started yelling when he broccoli when she had asks for something else. Gloria tells that he did everything wrong. At the mall, Claire tells that she has been trying to get Phil to try Wedge Saland forever and when a friend that he doesn’t even like tells Phil about it, he jumps at the chance. She tells that he does this with everything. He tells Claire to lay off it a bit and Claire asks when he started to shy away from fights and he tells that she sounds like a Thaliana prostitute.

At Cam’s the phone rings. It is one of Cam’s friends and he tells Cam that he is not coming and didn’t even know about a benefit. The same for all of their friends too. Cam tells Luke to get Mitchell on the phone. Mitchell is in the meantime trying to pass out invitations to random people. Cam tells him to fix this before Andrew comes to the event. Claire, Phil and Alex visit what should be Hailey’s work and she runs over and poses as the waitress. Alex tries to entrap her by asking for a specialty drink. The real waitress comes up to Hailey and asks if she wants anything else and she orders the drinks that Claire, Phil and Alex ordered. Phil sees Wedge Salad on the menu and suggests that Claire get that. She blows up at him and leaves. Hailey sees this as her opportunity and tells that she got fired. Alex tries to tell that she never worked there.

Later that evening, everyone shows up at Cam’s event and he is a little embarrassed of the numbers. Phil goes up to Claire with a photo album and shows how he used to look like before Claire and tells that everything about him is her. She forgives him and they hug. Suddenly Mitchell comes in with more people and musicians. Cam is happy and looks at Andrew with a smirk on his face. Back at Jay’s, Gloria is singing and Manny runs downstairs and tells that she stinks at singing. He calls Jay a coward for not telling her. As Jay is packing up the karaoke machine, he tries it out and has fun, but Manny unplugs it and tells that if he doesn’t stop, it is not the only plug he is going to pull.

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