Express Christmas - Recap

The scene opens with the families gathered around the pool and Mitchell and Cam tell them that their mother is not coming because she is with her new boyfriend. Claire is bummed, but Jay is happy. Mitchell and Cam tell them that they are going to go to Missouri to visit Cam’s family for Christmas and Jay and Gloria are taking Manny and going to Mexico on Christmas Day. Claire doesn’t like that they are not going to be spending Christmas together and Phil says that it is time for “Express Christmas” and they need to get everything together in four hours. He runs off and realizes that the ground is hot and accidentally falls in the pool. They get inside and Luke keeps teasing Manny about getting snatched in Mexico. The family gets organized and Phil pumps them up to be excited about it. They all leave Mitchell and Lily alone and Alex comes up and says that she got a text from Claire saying that it is X-Mas. Mitchell says that his mom called and told him that she wasn’t coming and told that she had a boyfriend in a newsletter. He tells her to get some clothes on and that they are getting a tree together.

Luke and Gloria are trying to get the ornament that Claire and Mitchell need for the Christmas Tree and Luke is in the attic. She tells him to walk on the beams and he says that the angel is an ornament that their Nan-Nan made and it is special. Luke steps through the ceiling and realizes that she was saying “Look” and not “Luke”. Gloria says that she doesn’t hear the similarities until she says them together. Meanwhile, Claire and Haley are at Target trying to get the last minute gifts. Claire tells Haley that she believes that she can shop and Haley says for her to follow her. Mitchell and Alex get to the Tree Farm and look for a Douglas Fir. He says that it is important. The employee of the lot says that he knows what they want. They see that he is pointing to a pink tree and Alex takes the offence before Mitchell can. The employee says that he was pointing at the truck and says that they got more Douglas Fir trees in. Mitchell says that they are going to take the tree and tie it on the car themselves. The employee laughs and Lily announces that she has two fathers.

Cam and Jay are wrapping gifts and Jay is not wrapping the present that well. Cam asks why all the tape like he does by closing off to people. Cam gives Jay a gift and it is a cork. Jay is confused, but Cam says that it was the cork when they watched their first football game together and he saved the cork from the wine. He says that he has to get to Claire’s and is emotional. Back at Target, Claire and Haley get everything on the list besides the nightlight for Lily. However, Haley says that she is on it. She sees it and it is grabbed by a guy. She walks over and is about to use her “charm” to get it, but the guy is gay. She walks up to an employee and gets his shirt. She goes up to the guy and tells him that she can hold his merchandise at the register. She runs up and gives the nightlight to Claire. Meanwhile, Phil is waiting in a back-alley with Manny for a man to give the present he wants to give Jay. It is a mint condition Joe Dimaggio card. The man comes up and says that he wants $250 for it and Phil says that he spent all his money on groceries. The man says that he will take the butterball. Manny thinks that the man is talking about him and reaches for his stun gun. He accidentally stuns Phil and Phil tells him that the man was talking about the turkey. Phil gives him the money and he gets the card. However, the affect from the stun gun causes Phil to destroy the card.

Luke and Gloria find the angel and drive to Claire’s. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Alex get the tree on the car and Mitchell slams on his breaks. The tree goes into the street and Gloria runs it over. Mitchell is devastated. Gloria asks if Luke is alright and throws the angel out when she sees a spider on it. The angel is run over by a truck. At Claire’s Jay asks Cam how long he is going to be mad at him. He tells him that he will until the storm cloud clears. Jay says that Cam needs to lower his expectations of him. Gloria asks how the angel is and she uses gum to put the head back on. Mitchell and Alex come in with the pieces of the tree and say that it was run over, but it is alright.

Phil comes in with the food and says that there is no turkey, but they have Cornish Game Hens. Claire says that she wanted a turkey and Phil says that they were out of them. Claire complains that they are frozen and Phil pulls out the stun gun and stuns them. Claire realizes that this means a lot to Phil and says that it will work. Mitchell realizes that the angel is destroyed and says that he is out. Gloria says that Mitchell and Claire miss their mother. Jay tells them to all go to a Chinese Restaurant and they go outside and there is a snow machine outside and they all appreciate the gift he gave. Later, Jay opens the back up gift from Phil and it is dog antlers. Jay loves them and Cam is offended. Phil sees the tree fall over and falls into Cam and shocks him in the butt. The episode ends.

Written By David Sibert

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