Phil has two whole days to himself, and he's already wired the house to his iPad. But really wants him to go see some friends, and not just his real estate customers. Claire takes Alex to her Academic Decathlon, where she is a returning champion. Luke and Manny are with her. Claire would rather have Alex not win because she puts so much pressure on herself. Luke and Manny spot some well-dressed ladies heading to a bar mitzvah, and Manny is crazy that one of the girls smiled at him. Manny needs Luke as a wingman, but Luke figures breaking into a party is no challenge for him.
Except now there are three bar mitzvahs, so Luke figures it would be more of a challenge. Cameron has a wonderful idea for a baby shower present for Jay and Gloria, only he needs to get them out of their house for four hours. But he figures that is better than taking Mitchell's advice to stick to the registry. In other words the list of items they actually want. The baby isn't helping with kicking Gloria all night, which means the baby would be a football player or a chorus girl. Cameron can’t be swayed, so he takes Gloria for a quiet lunch and Jay would take Mitchell to shop for a crib. Claire casually walks into the contest and starts talking smack to another parent, even giving a “Woo!” to Alex, when she answers her question.
The problem is, Alex got the question wrong and is out. Claire tries to appeal to the judges, but Alex is livid because she thinks Claire just wants to parade her around like a show pony. Phil on the other hand actually finds a friend, albeit a new one. Dave went to the same college as Phil, so Phil invites him back to the house to watch their school play football. Dave then calls Cameron, who recommended the gym. Dave tells Cam he just met the cutest guy, and that he has a date. As Manny and Luke try to track down the correct bar mitzvah. At Phil's house, Dave arrives and notices the pictures of Claire and the kids. But Phil reassures them they won't be there; just his brother-in-law and his partner.
Phil thinks it is high time for him to have a boys' night, and Claire even suggested it. Dave is misinterpreting every last thing Phil is saying. Dave even calls Cameron about it. Cam on his part is still trying to keep Gloria out of the house despite her desperate need to sleep. Dave never mentions who it is, only that he's married and his wife is ok with it. Dave even tells him about the "mysterious guests" that are coming, but Cam assures him those guests will disappear and Dave would have a great night. Phil finds out Cameron and Mitchell are cancelling. Phil tells Dave it would just be the two of them. Phil activates the fireplace and kills the lights with the iPad. Mitchell gets the crib, insisting Jay will be all manly, carry it to the car and assemble it himself, while Jay gets a hug from the store's bunny mascot.
Finally, Mitchell thinks enough is enough and confronts Jay about whatever is bothering him. Jay gives him a brush off. However, when they got home, Jay explains it. The shrink at the store was actually a shrink he sometimes saw with his mother. Jay goes back from time to time for a "tune-up" and the fact that his office is becoming the new nursery is getting to him. Jay admits that his office was the only room in the house where he could close the door, read a book, or have a drink in peace. But Mitchell understands, given he had to do the same thing when Cameron and he brought Lily home. It wasn't about the room; it was about the fact that Lily would change everything. Jay admits he is just nervous about it.
Jay then thanks him for the talk. Alex stays away from Claire because of what happened. Claire tries to deny it, but she finally breaks down and admits she likes to see Alex succeed so she could lord it over the other moms. That, and Alex is the only one of the three she can be proud of for good reasons, unlike Haley emailing her pictures of her nails and Luke thinking he was part-owl. But Alex admits Claire isn't as bad as she is about trying to succeed. Manny is ready to give up, but Luke thinks that’s wrong, since the ancient Jews didn't give up when the Egyptians chased them to the Red Sea. The third bar mitzvah is the charm. Manny finds the girl who smiled at him. Except a security guard knows they are crashing the parties and tell them to get out.
But Manny has fifty seconds and that is all he needed. “I've been searching for you since you smiled at me in the lobby today. Maybe even my whole life. It's too late for us to have the magical night I was hoping for, but maybe it's not too late to have a memento of what might have been. I'll be waiting” Manny tells her. He walks into the photo booth and the girl follows him in. Gloria finally gets past Cam and heads into the house. Cam tries to slow her down again, but Gloria reads him the riot act about him overdoing everything and trying to control people's lives. Cam figures she would hate the artistic painting of Jay, Gloria, and Manny as angels watching over the baby like the one of Mitch and him in their house. But Gloria loves it. Jay comes in just then and he too likes it.
Back at Phil's, Dave is trying to figure out if Phil wants to get closer. They toast and get their shirts soaked. Phil instantly takes his shirt off, tells Dave to do the same. He says he would throw them in the dryer. They then share a hug, without their shirts. Dave enjoys it and wants to keep enjoying it. Only, the TV goes off, so Phil suggests they take it upstairs. Dave decides to take off, admitting he just got out of a long-term relationship.
Phil is sympathetic, and tells him he'll help in any way he can. “You’ve already done more than you can know” says Dave and kisses Phil. Manny on the other hand, goes a lot further than the girl wanted by putting his arm around her and she therefore bolts. The episode ends at this point.