The episode begins and it's Manny's 14th birthday, and Jay and Gloria are planning a huge surprise party for him, given it'll be the last one where he's an only child. After giving him the brush-off regarding their plans for that night, they have to pick up everything, including the cake. But since they don't have time to wait in the huge line at the cake shop, they scam a new mom out of her cake. Haley will meet the rest of the family at the Pritchett abode, one hour later than they were told, according to Claire, since she is going out a date with one of her co-workers at the clothing store, Kenny, who is Phil's age.
Lily is going through a marriage phase, where she wants to have a wedding and marry her daddy. She takes Mitchell to a mock altar all dressed up with wedding rings. Cameron has issues with that, and according to Mitch it’s not made better by him struggling as a music teacher and Mitchell doing well at his law firm. Jay and Gloria crash out of the parking lot because they lose their ticket. Everybody is set up for the party at the house, except for Luke who films the whole thing. Phil still can't see anything wrong with Haley going out with a "mentor". Phil is fine with Haley's choice of date, until he sees him kissing Haley. Then suddenly he wants to fight him.
Claire is dying to see this, until Mitchell reminds her she dated a guy that old when she used to work at the Cheesecake Factory just to get a rise out of Jay, only he didn't say a word because he knew Claire would dump a guy who smelled like potato skins and said "supposably" in no time at all. Suddenly Claire goes to stop Phil, saying Haley is doing this to get back at them. Phil is conflicted, particularly when Kenny says "nailed it" coming out of the bathroom and demands a high-five. Mitchell confronts Cameron about the problems he is going through at school, but apparently the kids like him.
It turns out, Cameron is enjoying his job so much he forgets his tradition of dunking a cookie in milk with Lily every day at 2:30. He is not happy about it, and thinks Lily is resenting him for it. But Mitch reminds him Lily isn't a character on Dynasty and doesn't resent him. Jay and Gloria finally make it, and Gloria goes over the plan to surprise Manny by turning the lights out and singing when he turns them on. Manny gets there earlier than planned. Also, it turns out Manny has a female friend who wants to give him an early birthday present. But she wants to turn the lights on and when she does she screams. Manny is completely incensed with everyone for ruining his first kiss. Gloria tries to talk to him, but to no avail. Jay tries to talk to Manny, saying at least Manny can prove he kissed a girl.
Kenny certainly isn't ingratiating himself to Claire or Phil. Phil is resisting the urge to clip his ponytail with garden shears for running Haley's hand up his leg, Claire tries to keep him at bay. Gloria gets everybody to sing Happy Birthday to Manny, who has finally come out of his room, just in time to see Gloria's water break. But she refuses to leave. Jay has to drag her to the car apologizing to Manny the whole way. Everybody else makes it to the hospital in time. Gloria is still trying to keep the baby inside until the following day, but Manny tells her he had her to himself for 14 years so he is fine sharing his birthday with the new family member. Gloria now wants the baby out.
Claire on the other hand keeps playing it out, and even gives Haley and Kenny their credit card for dinner at a remote location and a hotel. Phil is being driven mad by this game of chicken Claire, so he goes after them. Haley, on the other hand, returns and is freaked out at Claire for letting her get that far with Kenny. She is convinced Phil and she just think of her as nothing but a disappointment. “I see the look on his face every day. He acts as if he doesn't want me around” says Haley. “This little 'chicken' game may work for your dad but it doesn't work for me. That's my little girl. I need her to know that no guy on Earth is good enough for her, much less a slimy middle-aged jeans salesman” Phil returns and tells Claire.
Haley overhears this and hugs him, much to his surprise Gloria on the other hand gives birth to a baby boy. Gloria tells Claire it was the most painful 20 minutes of her life. Claire is disappointed that Gloria is skinny again. The episode ends at this point.