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Best Men - Recap

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The episode begins and Cam and Mitch’s “best girlfriend Sal” pays them a visit. An excited Sal tells them that she is getting married to a guy named Tony. She asks them if they are fine with her getting married because they can never get married. Cam and Mitch assure her they are absolutely fine with it. She wants them to be her best men. They are really excited to hear this. She reveals the wedding is next Friday. Jay is really bothered by the fact that Gloria breastfeeds their son openly. He tells her people stare at her breast which makes him uncomfortable. Gloria doesn’t feel there is anything wrong with that and says her mother used to the same.

At the Dunphy residence, Claire is really surprised when Haley compliments her. She concludes Haley has reached that age where she and Haley could become friends. She, as a result, decides to ask Haley out to dinner. Haley seems cool with it. Claire and Phil are really excited that Haley said yes. At school, the art teacher tells Gloria and Phil that Manny is only interested in making paintings of female nudes. She then shows them that Manny has even modeled a sculpture of a woman’s breasts. The teacher says some of the other parents have complained. “Some of the moms” the teacher elaborates. Jay compares the bust Manny has sculpted to Gloria’s breasts. He figures out where Manny is getting his ideas from.

Phil helps Luke get a date with one of his Facebook friends. It's two hours before the marriage and Sal is having drinks at a bar with Mitch and Cam. Sal says she needs to go to the bathroom. Next, Cam and Mitch are shocked to see her make out with the bartender. At home, Gloria and Jay have a chat with Manny and ask him to tone down his creativity a little. Gloria tells Manny it’s her fault because she has always been a bit free with her body but Manny isn’t interested in what Gloria has to say. Turns out he is interested in the new housekeeper, a young woman named Dalia. In fact, his paintings and artwork are inspired by her. She is Manny’s muse. Phil drops Luke off at the restaurant where Luke is supposed to meet his friend from Facebook.

His friend Simone arrives a little later. At the bar, Sal is having a panic attack. She is reconsidering her decision to marry. She is worried Tony might not be the guy for her. Cam asks her to focus and reminds her she is about to make a “sacred lifelong commitment”. “You are not making this better” yells a frantic Sal. Just then, she sees a text from Tony asking her to pick him up so they can drive together to the marriage venue. She begins to panic even more and begins kissing the bartender again. Haley blows off Claire to go out with one of her friends. Claire is really hurt but pretends she is okay with it. Simone’s mom, Valerie, approaches Phil while he’s waiting for Luke’s date to end.

She introduces herself and begins making small talk. Valerie reveals she was writing for Simone and Phil reveals he was writing for Luke when they were chatting on Facebook. Phil kids that it means they are also on a date. She feels Phil is flirting with her and flirts back. Phil is visibly worried that Valerie misconstrued his humor. Cam and Mitch are at the wedding venue and are walking Sal down the aisle. Cam doesn’t feel Sal should get married but Mitch asks him to not interfere. Jay and Gloria find Manny’s notebook with his drawings and figure out it's not Gloria’s boobs he is drawing but Dalia’s. Haley feels guilty and returns to spend time with Claire. Phil makes it clear to Valerie that he is happily married and was only joking earlier.

Valerie isn’t happy to hear this. But her anger soon turns to lust and she tells Phil her minivan is right outside and they could go to her van and have a quickie. Phil tries to make it clear he isn’t interested. Manny tells Dalia how he feels about her. Dalia lets him down easy by telling him she is too old for him and it’s her loss that she was born too early. Gloria sneakily watches, while Dalia handles Manny really sensibly. It doesn’t help because Manny is still hurt and heartbroken. Sal and Tony come clean about their indiscretions and decide there is nothing more they want than to get married to each other.

Later, at home Sal apologizes to Lily for not inviting her to the wedding. Lily says it's okay and adds that she will go to her next wedding. Sal doesn’t appreciate the sarcasm and tells Lily “I don’t like you”. “Get over it” Lily replies. The episode ends at this point.