Adrian: Are you mad at me? You're mad at me. I'm a detective. I can tell.
Natalie: You just walked around rearranging spoons and plates and sweeping up crumbs. Couldn't you have at least tried?
Adrian: I tried. I smiled. I smiled a lot.
Natalie: You were wincing!
Adrian: That's my smile. That's how I smile.
Stottlemeyer: How's Monk holding up?
Natalie: Not so good. He thinks he saw a UFO.
Stottlemeyer: Really? Well, maybe they're there to take him home. Maybe that's his ride.
Natalie: That's what I said! Captain?
Stottlemeyer: That would explain a lot, wouldn't it?
Sheriff Fletcher: You saw a UFO?
Adrian: No. No, I didn't say that.
Sheriff Fletcher: Oh. So, uh, was it an object?
Sheriff Fletcher: Uh, could you identify it?
Adrian: No, no.
Sheriff Fletcher: And it was flying.
Sheriff Fletcher: You add that all up, Mr. Monk, you've got yourself a UFO.
Dickie: Is there a problem with your room? I couldn't help noticing all your cleaning supplies.
Adrian: Oh, no. no. It's fine. The hotel's great. This is just a hobby.
Natalie: He just bought one bag. That's like giving you a gold star.
Sheriff Fletcher: One of us is going to have to go get help. The highway's about 15 miles that way.
Adrian: All right, Natalie and I will go.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, we can't leave him, he's been shot.
Adrian: All right. Natalie and I will stay here.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, he can't walk.
Adrian: Well, what do you suggest, Natalie? Do you have any ideas at all?
Natalie: Yeah, you get help, I stay here and take care of the sheriff.
Adrian: Any ideas at all, because if you do I'd really like to hear them.
Natalie: I'm going to ask you if that was a coyote, and you say "no." Was that a coyote?
Sheriff Fletcher: No.
Natalie: Really, was that a coyote?
Sheriff Fletcher: Yeah.
Adrian: So this is where it ends. This is it. Surrounded by dirt. Covered in dirt. You win, dirt! Congratulations, dirt! Well played...
Adrian: I'm just cleaning, I haven't dusted up here for two, three...