Adrian: Oh my god! It's me.
Disher: That's your doppelganger. They say everybody's got one.
Stottlemeyer: Who says that?
Disher: People. And their doppelgangers.
Stottlemeyer: I think I see where this is going.
Disher: Yeah, me too.
Stottlemeyer: No, you don't.
Disher: I'd like to meet him.
Natalie: Who's that?
Disher: My twin, my doppelganger. I wonder if I could take him.
Natalie: You mean like in a fight?
Disher: Yeah, I bet I could take him. Man versus doppelganger.
Adrian: I'm descending the stairs. There's a standing lamp on my right in front of a gray couch with four cushions--two gray, two orange. I'm touching the standing lamp. Still touching the lamp. Still touching. Can't stop touching the lamp. What's wrong with me?
Lola: Wow, you look really nice, Frankie.
Adrian: Thank you.
Lola: At this point, most men would be commenting on how I look, but that's cool. You're not most men. You're definitely one of a kind.
Adrian: Not quite.
Lola: What was her name?
Adrian: Natalie Teeger...b.
Adrian: With a "B" on the end. It's Canadian. it's French Canadian.
Adrian: This Greenblatt, guy, what'd he do?
Lenny Barlowe: Lola said you didn't ask any questions.
Adrian: Why would she say that?
Lenny Barlowe: That's another question.
Natalie: Agent Stone, can we go home now? Mr. Monk did everything you said. It's been really hard on him. He has trouble enough being himself.
Harold Krenshaw: Adrian! Adrian. Adrian? Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. Adrian, Adrian. Adrian. Adrian? Adrian? (Adrian finally turns around) I thought that was you. Are you on vacation too? I didn't think you ever left San Francisco. I didn't think you ever left your living room.
Adrian: This coffee's cold. It tastes like BM.
Disher: It's iced tea.
Adrian: Well, warm it up.
Disher: So you want tea?
Adrian: No. I want warm iced tea.
Natalie: Captain, do you have a minute. Mr. Monk would like to say something.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you have to do it in person.
Adrian: I'm sorry.
Natalie: Show him the card. Go ahead, read it.
Adrian: "I was 'udderly' wrong." It's a cow. Udders."I'm sorry if I upset you. Please give me another chance. I would hate for my careless gesture to spoil our fine romance." It's the only one they had.
Stottlemeyer: Thank you, Monk. I realize how hard this must have been for you to have Natalie buy it for you.
Natalie: Okay, I bought it, but Mr. Monk paid for it. Or he will.