Job interviewer: What do you think is your greatest strength?
Monk: (Long pause) My decisiveness.
Monk: You think your house is that clean, mister? You don't know the meaning of the word clean.
Stottlemeyer: Nobody is trying to embarrass you, Commissioner, but I am going to rip that hairpiece off of your head. It is a critical piece of evidence.
Commissioner: You wouldn't dare.
Stottlemeyer: (to Monk) Are you sure?
Monk: One hundred percent.
(Stottlemeyer pulling at the commissioner's hair)
Monk: Ninety-three to ninety-four percent.
(Stottlemeyer tries again)
Monk: Seventy-four percent.