Sharona: Hey, Captain, have you ever met Crystal?
Stottlemeyer: I can't say I have. We were supposed to go out to dinner last week, but she canceled at the last minute.
Randy: She wasn't feeling well.
Sharona: Maybe you blew her up too much.
Randy: She isn't a balloon.
Sharona: That's right. She's a living, breathing wallet model.
Rudy: (about Monk) Is he a robot?
Benjy: No, he's a person.
Rudy: Wow. What else does he do?
Benjy: He vacuums a lot. And he solves murders.
Rudy: You could sell tickets to that.
Randy: A forty-two-inch flat-screen TV fell on her. She was killed instantly.
Sharona: That's horrible. TV still work?
Stottlemeyer: Sharona, the TV just killed a woman.
Sharona: What are you going to do? Lock it up?