Randy: Here's the ship. And let's pretend this globe represents the earth.
Stottlemeyer: It's a globe. It does represent the earth.
Monk: I am such a --what do you call it?
Natalie: Wuss. No, Mr. Monk, you are not a wuss.
Monk: Well, I'm not a man. I know that. I'm a mutant. Half man, half wuss. I'm a muss.
Monk: (to Natalie) Why don't you ask the captain?
Stottlemeyer: Whatever it is, thank you for asking, but I can't do it.
Natalie: You can't just take mail from somebody's porch.
Darrell Cain: Yeah, you can if it's fruit. The law doesn't apply to fruit because it's perishable.
Stottlemeyer: Actually, sir, the law does apply to fruit. (to Disher) Are you eating one?
Randy: Nope. I was just putting that (nectarine) back.
Randy: (to Steve Wagner)Congratulations on your flight. And congratulations on the crash landing four years ago. And on marrying a figure skater.
Stottlemeyer: Yeah. Congratulations on your whole life.
Stottlemeyer: Okay, maybe you found a motive. Maybe. But it doesn't matter, and I'll tell you why. Because your suspect, Monk, was in outer space. He wasn't on this planet.
Stottlemeyer: (about the outer space alibi) Now maybe we should take a minute and see if we can think of a better alibi.
Randy: It's just a theory.
Stottlemeyer: No, I don't think so. I've heard theories before, and, uh, they don't sound like that.
Steve Wagner: (to Monk) I hear you've been checking up on me, calling Joanne's family, her publisher, turning over rocks. If you want to talk to me, let's talk right now, man to muss.
Monk: He killed his girlfriend.
Dr. Kroger: Which I do not condone--it's indefensible, of course
Dr. Kroger: Which of your fears would you like to work on first?
Dr. Kroger: Glaciers.
Monk: No. Rodeos. Nah. Glaciers
Monk: (to Steve) Could we come, too? I'm a big aviation buff . . . fan.
Natalie: So true.
Monk: Fan or buff. I love airplanes.
Natalie: Just crazy about the--
Monk: Can't get enough of them.
Natalie: --the takeoff.
Monk: And the wings and all.
Natalie: And, uh, the . . . the--
Monk: --the rudder.
Natalie: --the landing. You wouldn't mind if we come, do you?
Monk: I can't speak in public.
Natalie: See, that's not true. Remember when I first started working for you and you made that list with all of your fears and phobias, there were one hundred and three things, public speaking wasn't one of them.
Monk: Actually, there were a couple of things I didn't mention; I didn't want you to think I was weird.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, what are you doing?
Monk: I don't know.
Capt. Savo: They're at Ramp Two. He's handling a missile.
Natalie: No, no, no, no! These are missiles. They could be nuclear weapons!
Monk: Then stop me, for the love of God.
Monk: (to Dr. Kroger) Why don't we sit here and name really tall things? I'll go first.