Monk: You know, I usually don't like shaking hands, but if I ever met the man who invented Tupperware, I would shake his hand.
Natalie: I think he might be dead.
Monk: But I would still shake his hand because he's probably perfectly preserved.
Judge Rienzo: Whose phone was that?
Monk: It's hers, your honor. Number three. And she fell asleep. Yeah, you. Number eight, your honor.
Judge Rienzo: Nobody likes a tattletale.
Monk: I think number nine is a tattletale.
Judge Rienzo: That'll do, Mr. Monk.
Monk: Don't get me wrong. It's a great system. It really is the best justice system in the world.
Natalie: I agree.
Monk: I just don't want to be part of it.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, what if everybody felt that way?
Monk: Everybody does.
Monk: (reacting to an envelope in Natalie's hand) I've been drafted. They've reinstated the draft.
Monk: I work alone. I'm a lone wolf.
Natalie: You're a lone wolf.
Monk: Even when I was on the force, I didn't like having a partner. I can't work with other people.
Natalie: Okay, well, I think that's sad.
Monk: I agree. It's very sad.
Judge Rienzo: And you are?
Monk: Adrian Monk. Capital A, small d, small r, small i, small a, small n, space--
Judge: Thank you, Mr. Monk. I think we have it.
Monk: (After being told he will be juror #11) I object!