Natalie: Hey, Captain, have you seen Mr. Monk?
Stottlemeyer: I figured he’s with you. He usually is.
James Novak: July 18th. For Adrian Monk the day began like any other. He would vacuum his entire apartment, then clean the vacuum, then vacuum again.
Stottlemeyer: I don’t know how he does it. Sometimes when Monk’s not around, I’ll catch the other cops doing it, right, with the hands. Then, like, oh, touch that. It doesn’t work. Doesn’t work for anyone else but him.
Natalie: Keeping him focused, that’s one of my jobs.
James Novak: What else do you do for him?
Natalie: What else do I do? How long is your show?
Disher: Oh, he has some idiosyncrasies.
James Novak: Like what?
Disher: Fear of heights. Fear of germs. Spiders. Milk.
Natalie: Crowds, elevators, fire.
Disher: Rabbits, tunnels, bridges.
Disher: Decaffeinated coffee
Stottlemeyer: The wind. He’s afraid of the wind.
Disher: Egg whites.
Disher: Naked people. That one is way up there. I think it goes “naked people” and then “death.”
Arelene Boras: Adrian Monk? I have to admit, I have mixed feelings about him. I mean, on the one hand he sent me to prison. Twenty-five years to life. On the other hand, after he arrested me he stayed after everybody and cleaned my apartment. I got my security deposit back. Which was nice.
Disher: I guess that clinches it. This guy’s definitely the Cosmetic Assassin.
First SWAT Officer: The what?
Disher: Cosmetic Assassin. That’s what we’re calling him.
Stottlemeyer: Maybe you’d like to hear what we’re calling you.
Adrian: Mr. Novak do you have a copy of the episode we just saw, maybe on a VHS tape?
James Novak: Well, this is DVR.
Adrian: Oh, that's too bad. If it was on VHS we could watch it again.
James Novak: DVR is digital, it's better than VHS.
Adrian: Oh, well then let's do that.