The mascot greets Ben, and Ben gives him what-for. He's not supposed to arrive every morning, and "work" full-time. His only job is to rev up the crowd at sporting events. Alice arrives bearing a bunch of promotional stuff for Alonzo's charity event. One size fits all. Roman begs to differ, since his headband is so very tight. Ben points out that it's a wrist band.
Alice says Ben's just jealous because Alonzo gets to play in the tournament against Jimmy Connors. Alonzo sounds pretty glum, what's wrong? Or as Ben puts it, did the choir of angels that wakes him get in a fight with the fairies that dress him? No, his tennis partner got hit by a car that morning. Ben asks to replace him, and Alonzo says he's not a celebrity. When Ben points out that not much of anybody on the list is, either. Alonzo agrees.
Crystal arrives all excited at work because she figured out how to tweet on her smart phone. She was doing it driving, and is apparently the driver who hit Alonzo's partner. Roman points out that she missed their breakfast together again. She did last week, too. She promises, just like she did last week, that she won't miss it next week. Roman is ecstatic.
Ben sends the mascot home again before he and Alonzo practice for the tournament. Roman grabs the ball out of play in the middle of their match. Crystal arrives to ask where the cigarette machine has gone. Ben says it's in the 70's. Cigarettes are bad for you. She figures everybody should be informed, so she tweets about it.
Roman talks to Ben about how, all things considered, it's great how well he and Alonzo are getting along. Ben has trouble getting Roman to understand that Alonzo doesn't know that Alice and Ben used to be a couple. Alonzo finishes his call, and Ben makes a joke about Alice keeping him on a short leash. Alonzo says that's because her last boyfriend was such a jerk. Commitment issues, etc. Ben is surprised. They return to the game. Roman chases the tennis ball, and that's where he is when Crystal hits him while she tweets.
The medics check him out. Crystal miserably fails the mom giving information portion of the program. Heather arrives and lets them know that Roman is allergic to everything, and she even knows his blood type.
Ben arrives to talk to Alice about Alonzo, and the ex- situation. She feels bad about never having told him, and it's getting too late. Ben says it should stay that way, and Alice agrees.
Crystal introduces Ben to her personal attorney. She called Ben in, because she wants him to testify that Roman was sniffing glue at the time of the accident. Ben is aghast. He convinces Crystal to get to know Roman. If she did, she would know he's not the type to sue her. Crystal sees his point. Keep your enemies close and your family closer. Jesus said that. No, Ben points out. He didn't. Crystal is going to give Roman the evening of his life at the celebrity tennis tournament. She makes a beeline to the door and invites Roman into her office. He has a broken arm, a neck brace, and one crutch. Both legs are in soft casts.
She tells him she is deeply sorry for what happened when she stopped her cart so close to him, and he hurled himself in front of it. Roman smiles, and apologizes. She tells him he can eat whatever he wants to eat, and do whatever he wants to do. She doesn't believe him when he says all he wants is two kinds of potatoes, and his mom. He's very happy. Crystal thinks Roman is playing her.
Ben questions Alonzo about Alice's ex. When Alonzo said the guy was horrible in bed, Ben says "I was not!" Alonzo finally knows the truth, and he's not amused. Ben stopped seeing Alice roughly the same time Alonzo started seeing her.
Roman happily informs Crystal that he gets to keep his spleen. Crystal introduces Jimmy to Roman. He thinks Roman has the disease that the fundraiser is for, and Roman doesn't know what he's talking about.
Ben runs up and asks Roman if Alice or Alonzo is who Roman is more afraid of. He finally says Alice, and Ben agrees. He runs off, tells Alice Alonzo knows, and keeps running. Alonzo looks at Alice, turns and walks away. Ben and Alice talk. When she said her ex sucked, she wasn't talking about Ben. She was talking about Greg, her last 'real' boyfriend. Ben wasn't even a boyfriend. He was barely a blip on Alice's radar.
At dinner, things are very uncomfortable between Alice, Ben and Alonzo. Roman is the only one who is is his usual smiley self. All three of them start using tater tots vs mashed potatoes as a simile for Alice and her relationship between the two men. Crystal finally interjects to ask why the food is alive. Roman gets it, so he fills her in. Alice leaves, and Alonzo follows. Crystal and Roman bond over office gossip.
Ben finds Alonzo in the hall, because Alice locked him out. Ben thinks Alice is so upset because she finally found an amazing guy, and she doesn't want to do anything to screw it up. Alonzo asks Ben what his point is, and Ben says nobody's perfect except you, and that's not a dig. He meant it literally. Alonzo needs to remember that he got the girl, and a pretty great girl at that. He just needs to forgive. Alice steps out the door, and Alonzo rushes over to sweep her into a passionate kiss.
Roman explains to Crystal how he manages to compute his age as being 28. Crystal and Roman realize they had a wonderful night. They're interrupted by Crystal's attorney, who wants Roman to sign all the paperwork. She shoos him off and takes away the paperwork. Roman asks if she was just being nice to him so he wouldn't sue her, and she says yes, it was Ben's idea. Crystal immediately admits the truth, but she's had a wonderful time, because they connected tonight. She asks if she's an awful mother, and Roman says no. She just hasn't perfected it yet. In fact, he offers to sign her papers next week if she shows up for breakfast. She agrees.
Alice asks Ben if he plays piano, and he proves he doesn't. She apologizes for telling him he didn't matter. The truth is, she just didn't know how to define him. But he was definitely something. She doesn't remember the move, though. He draws it for her. Alice says "Oh my god!" and Ben says "Well; that's not to scale."
Fred Savage is Jimmy's tennis partner. Alonzo drives a tennis ball right into Ben's back. Ben turns around and says "We good now?" Alonzo nods and tells him they're getting there. Share this article with your friends