Joy's Mom: Don't you judge me!
Randy: This is for a family, at Christmas. You know, 'Feliz Nobby-Blah'.
Catalina: That means nothing.
Randy: To you, maybe, but in American that means Christmas in Mexican.
Earl: I learned a valuable lesson that night. If you're gonna try to fly a bicycle, you better make sure E.T. is sitting in your basket instead of a 12 pack of beer.
Randy: You can't come between us. We're Chinese twins.
Darnell: Thanks Earl. It's cold outside in that manger. I don't know how Jesus did it.
Earl: Turns out Darnell was fine with it. While Joy's parents were in town, he was staying at the nativity scene down at the local church, since there wasn't room for hem at his own double wide inn.
Joy: You know how traditional my parents are. If they found out I got divorced and married a black man, they'd crap a sock.
Earl: For a woman who spent four days on a raft to get to America, Catalina was surprisingly sensitive to the sun.
Earl: We should go on a beer run. Are we okay to drive?
Randy: I know a good way to find out. If I can steer that remote control car in the living room without crashing, we're okay.
Earl: Randy that's the cat.
Randy: We shouldn't drive.
Joy: Why'd you flip out when I wanted to go out with that black guy in high school?
Joy's Dad: Because that particular black guy was your half-brother... one of them.
When Earl and Randy are riding the childrens bikes, Earl makes a reference to having E.T. in its basket. E.T. was a 1982 film directed by Steven Spielberg about an alien of the same name that levitated Eliott's bike in the film.